130,000 inflatable breasts missing at sea

Nick sez, "WA Today from Australia posted this story about 130,000 inflatable boobs that were lost at sea en route to Australia. They were part of a promotion for men's magazine, Ralph. When the ship arrived, the boobs were found to be missing."
Men's magazine Ralph was planning to include the boobs as a free gift with its January issue.

The cargo is worth about $200,000, which is another blow for publisher ACP's parent company PBL, which is already in $4.3 billion of debt...

Ralph editor Santi Pintado urged anyone who has any information to contact the magazine.

``Unless Somali pirates have stolen them its difficult to explain where they are,'' Pintado said.

``If anyone finds any washed up on a beach, please let us know.''

Storm in a C-cup - 130,000 boobs lost at sea (Thanks, Nick!)


  1. Apparently karma or fate or what-have-you did not want the tasteless “men’s magazine” dehumanizing women and reducing them to their parts. Oh, sweet schadenfreude.

  2. Nah. They won’t lose the $200K value of the container, unless their purchasing agent/logistics manager is an utter moron.

    Cargo insurance is cheap — they’ll get that back.

    Can’t do much about the 4.3 billion, though.

    (but I agree — losing that cargo isn’t a bad thing.)

  3. I can just hear the captain on the radio to his boss:
    “Bruce? Bruce? It’s Bruce here? No, not Bruce, it’s Bruce? Yeah, we’ve got a problem here? You know that shipment for Ralph? Yeah, that one? It’s all gone tits up out here!”

  4. I wonder if this will end up being a boon to climateologists, like the rubber ducks were? Although I think they knew where they were when they lost them…
    Time knows breast

  5. This reminds me obscurely of Timothy Leary talking about the benefits of cyberspace. I believe he said something about being able to “dive into a swimming-pool filled with tits”. It’s an image I’d really rather not have in my head.

  6. this story reminds me too much of the similar lost in sea bath rubber ducks to be true.

    What a great advertising for an already in $4.3 billion of debt publisher, to make up a totally fake (and totally free) story about them being generous enough to offer free plastic udders.

  7. So the container was there but it turned up empty? Or the container isn’t there and the shipping authorities are still looking for it? … But the ship arrived intact, yes? With the crew still aboard, alive and sane? No mention of losing half their cargo in a monster storm, or getting hijacked by bloodthirsty buccaneers? … Or if they don’t know which particular vessel their container was shipped on, why would you even suspect a mishap at sea? And how would you know that your empty container is the correct one in the first place? … If they’ve been scammed, or if the manufacturer just screwed up their shipment, why are we supposed to look out for boobs on the beach?

    Yeah, sounds fishy. Any indication this isn’t a viral marketing hoax?

  8. In other news the Australian Navy reported that approximately 65,000 sailors inadvertently fell overboard after widespread swells were felt. After being rescued many of the men were babbling incoherently. Some were quoted as saying ” Um Num num num num. Stranger still, many of the sailors whom are married denied even falling into the waters. Several navy men are presenting investing the swells closely while the affected men are being held in the aft section.

  9. All those missing boobs, huh? Well I just read that Saxby Chambliss of Georgia won his Senate runoff election with a lot bigger margin than in November. Co-incidence?

  10. “Missing at sea”???

    They’re missed here on land too.

    I envision a new cargo cult forming right now on some tiny atoll.

  11. exude a little mucilage, dab a few fronds of kelp and voila! “Stress relief sheets” to flog to the Others for popping fun.

  12. Takuan: “I suppose you boys have some silly name for these life jackets of yours.”

  13. Somewhere out there right now, a guy marooned on a desert island is looking up to heaven and exclaiming, “My prayers have been answered!” (That, or “Acres and acres of ’em! And they’re mine, all mine!”)

    Best. raft. evah.

  14. If there is an afterlife, George Carlin ought to be smiling a very wry smile.

    “‘Teats’ isn’t even on the list.”

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