The Periodic Table of Awesoments

Here's the complete image, at Okay those guys are assholes, they reposted the awesome work of DAPPERSTACHE without attribution. Here's the original. (Thanks, Coop!)


  1. I got excited when I didn’t see bacon with the rest of the food in your crop. I became very sad after clicking the link.
    Seriously nerds, it’s over bacon isn’t that great.

  2. Honestly, I think almost everything there is awesome. I question that fireworks are alkali earth metals though, despite their universally-agreed-upon awesominity.

  3. Arrr matey! I be seein Ninja but no bleedin Pirates! Me be thinkin this be an incomplete chart from the 1600’s when the Ninja Emperial guard banished the Piratical element from the chart of awesomeness… YARRRR! Friggin Ninjas!

  4. I’m surprised no one has talked about the compound possibilities … for example, table salt would be equal parts Chuck Norris and zombies. Now that’s awesome. Wouldn’t glucose be the staggering mix of six parts beer, twelve parts bacon, and six parts cheese? Man, that works on so many levels …

  5. Pick 2 or 3 of those, splice them together, and you have the perfect algorithm for generating awesome

    1) band names
    2) screen names
    3) video games
    4) anime titles

    “I love to rock out to The Batman Bacon Explosion while I play Laser Jet Pack Mecha. You should look me up and we can play. I go by ‘Space Boobs’ online.”

  6. using the logic from the movie Evolution, we (humans) are made up of beer, and our poison is kool-aid. But the aliens are made up of Chocolate, so if we follow the pattern and go over one, down two, their poison must be… RAMEN!

    So, thusly if we are ever invaded by awesome aliens made of pure chocolate, we can defeat them with ramen noodles!

  7. So, Pirates have the highest electronegativity? Chuck Norris explodes when exposed to water? Goiters are caused by a lack of Robots? Time Travel is liquid at room temperature? Computer Chips are made out of Beef Jerky?

    Yes, this table checks out perfectly.

  8. There *are* several unnamed slots, so complete your own! (Family Fun!) What’s more awesome than Personalized Awesome?

    The elemental symbol for Chuck Norris is “Chuck”. You can’t abbreviate the Chuck.

    I’m for a listing of xkcd as well, symbol XD perhaps. It does get da laffs.

    Seconded re: Boobs=DD (doesn’t quite work as well with the traditional Dd, so some warrant a better symbol. :)

  9. @jonrock, don’t get your panties in a bunch, dude — just give me a heads up that there is a mis-attributed source, and I’ll update immediately. I have done so here. We get link suggestions from people a gazillion times a day, and we can’t factcheck the provenance of every jpeg to see which blog blogged it first, we’re relying on a combination of gut instinct, googling, knowledge that comes from a lot of compulsive websurfing, and the reputation of the submitter. When there’s an oversight, we correct it. Done.

  10. #34

    Just what I thought. Where is Sigourney Weaver? Where is Betty Page?

    I mean really, if it’s a PERIODic table, you gotta have the chick element and boobs alone don’t cut it.

  11. Chuck Norris doesn’t have a symbol because he roundhouse kicked it into space when it tried get in his square. Everybody knows that.

  12. The best part is when you start applying actual chemical bonding rules to create compounds of awesome.

    You’ll notice that pirates are incredibly reactive, while Ninjas refuse to interact with anything.

    Also: Chuck Norris Zombies can be made to dissolve in water.

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