The Periodic Table of Awesoments


41 Responses to “The Periodic Table of Awesoments”

  1. IronyElemental says:

    Pick 2 or 3 of those, splice them together, and you have the perfect algorithm for generating awesome

    1) band names
    2) screen names
    3) video games
    4) anime titles

    “I love to rock out to The Batman Bacon Explosion while I play Laser Jet Pack Mecha. You should look me up and we can play. I go by ‘Space Boobs’ online.”

  2. IronyElemental says:

    Addendum: What’s a Jet Figther?

  3. Xeno says:

    Arrr matey! I be seein Ninja but no bleedin Pirates! Me be thinkin this be an incomplete chart from the 1600′s when the Ninja Emperial guard banished the Piratical element from the chart of awesomeness… YARRRR! Friggin Ninjas!

  4. Xeni Jardin says:

    @jonrock, don’t get your panties in a bunch, dude — just give me a heads up that there is a mis-attributed source, and I’ll update immediately. I have done so here. We get link suggestions from people a gazillion times a day, and we can’t factcheck the provenance of every jpeg to see which blog blogged it first, we’re relying on a combination of gut instinct, googling, knowledge that comes from a lot of compulsive websurfing, and the reputation of the submitter. When there’s an oversight, we correct it. Done.

  5. Metlin says:

    That list is missing Raptors!

  6. Piedmont says:

    Xeno- they’re almost right next to each other.

  7. Anonymous says:

    you forgot velociraptors!?!

  8. Xeno says:

    Yarr, I be seein pirates now. I be fergittin that I be havin a patch over both me eyes.

  9. darkbeanie says:

    It’s just way too easy to comment about stuff that’s missing, but still, I’m a little disappointed that they left out honey badgers.

  10. Anonymous says:

    using the logic from the movie Evolution, we (humans) are made up of beer, and our poison is kool-aid. But the aliens are made up of Chocolate, so if we follow the pattern and go over one, down two, their poison must be… RAMEN!

    So, thusly if we are ever invaded by awesome aliens made of pure chocolate, we can defeat them with ramen noodles!

  11. Pipenta says:


    Just what I thought. Where is Sigourney Weaver? Where is Betty Page?

    I mean really, if it’s a PERIODic table, you gotta have the chick element and boobs alone don’t cut it.

  12. Cupcake Faerie says:

    Cn = Cannabis ?

  13. elisd says:

    So, Pirates have the highest electronegativity? Chuck Norris explodes when exposed to water? Goiters are caused by a lack of Robots? Time Travel is liquid at room temperature? Computer Chips are made out of Beef Jerky?

    Yes, this table checks out perfectly.

  14. Anonymous says:

    They should’ve stuck with the original symbols… It would have been harder but so worth it.

  15. erindipity says:

    Chuck Norris doesn’t have a symbol because he roundhouse kicked it into space when it tried get in his square. Everybody knows that.

  16. LPJ says:

    I’m surprised no one has talked about the compound possibilities … for example, table salt would be equal parts Chuck Norris and zombies. Now that’s awesome. Wouldn’t glucose be the staggering mix of six parts beer, twelve parts bacon, and six parts cheese? Man, that works on so many levels …

  17. Lobster says:

    I disagree, #3. Bacon is not popular because it’s a meme, bacon is popular because it is wonderful.

  18. TrickyBeta says:

    I HATE when people link to EatLiver. They’re a site that steals pictures for ad bandwidth. Try going to the JPG without a proper referral link, and you get redirected to a “You can’t see this image” replacement.

    The original site is here:

  19. Fred Rated says:

    #1 Shatnerium.

  20. faggotina says:

    Vnc, wrfr nd jnkfd = wsm? F***ng stpdst thng ‘v vr sn pstd n BngBng.

  21. simonemarie says:

    Rw. that is funny.

  22. Alpinwolf says:

    There *are* several unnamed slots, so complete your own! (Family Fun!) What’s more awesome than Personalized Awesome?

    The elemental symbol for Chuck Norris is “Chuck”. You can’t abbreviate the Chuck.

    I’m for a listing of xkcd as well, symbol XD perhaps. It does get da laffs.

    Seconded re: Boobs=DD (doesn’t quite work as well with the traditional Dd, so some warrant a better symbol. :)

  23. The Bark Petition says:

    Shouldn’t it be “Yin Yang,” instead of “Ying Yang?” Just saying…

  24. Anonymous says:

    Anyone else think that if boobs is one of the Awesoments, its Awe-tomic Symbol should be Dd?

    dr. awkward

  25. BlackTiger says:

    The best part is when you start applying actual chemical bonding rules to create compounds of awesome.

    You’ll notice that pirates are incredibly reactive, while Ninjas refuse to interact with anything.

    Also: Chuck Norris Zombies can be made to dissolve in water.

  26. castewar says:

    I question the validity of this table, as see no Airwolf or Ultraman.

  27. Amphigorey says:

    Wow, that’s a seriously male-centric list.

  28. Sekino says:

    Bob Saget in the Chuck Norris/William Shatner/Mr T family?

    What’s his weapon; deadpan?

  29. jonrock says:

    @Xeni: panties unbunched, thanks! Sorry for the double post.

  30. Anonymous says:

    Why is bacon not on this list?

  31. jonrock says:




  32. Jake Bullet says:

    Mr. T’s symbol is BA.


  33. jonrock says:

    Respect creators’ rights!

    Link to the original!

    Don’t link to attribution-removing ripoff sites!

  34. SC_Wolf says:

    @SEKINO #19:
    Bob Saget’s weapon is unfiltered profanity(NSFW).

    But I didn’t come here to say that. I came here to bemoan the lack of vikings on the chart.

  35. Sekino says:

    #21 Bob Saget’s weapon is unfiltered profanity(NSFW).

    o_O … jolly good then.

  36. Fred Rated says:

    I don’t see Boing Boing, Ron Jeremy, or tiramisu, therefore I question the methodology of this chart.

  37. darue says:

    taco bell. jeez. gag me with a spoon. USDA Grade B beef, yum!

  38. Piedmont says:

    I got excited when I didn’t see bacon with the rest of the food in your crop. I became very sad after clicking the link.
    Seriously nerds, it’s over bacon isn’t that great.

  39. philoponia says:

    Honestly, I think almost everything there is awesome. I question that fireworks are alkali earth metals though, despite their universally-agreed-upon awesominity.

  40. Anonymous says:

    Curiously, Chuck Norris doesn’t rate a symbol.

  41. Takuan says:

    no Ichor?

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