World's most flushingest toilet

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This St Thomas Creations toilet flushes basically, anything. Huge, vasty supplies of euphemistic carrot-batons, entire chess-sets, and so on. I kept waiting for the child safety warning about its capacity to swallow whole toddlers.

(Thanks, Fipi Lele!)

I write books. My latest is a YA science fiction novel called Homeland (it's the sequel to Little Brother). More books: Rapture of the Nerds (a novel, with Charlie Stross); With a Little Help (short stories); and The Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow (novella and nonfic). I speak all over the place and I tweet and tumble, too.

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Axx

@1

Wow. Just…wow.
robulus

That is the most perfect video ever made. It’s tone, the photography, the music, everything.

I can just see it now, the presentation in the executive boardroom. The V.P. takes Johnson aside seconds before introducing him, “listen Johnson, you’re running out of friends around here, and that business with the Collins account didn’t help. If you stuff up this time, your ass is mine! Now we need flushing power in the executive bathroom, and you better be able to deliver, got it?”

Johnson just smiles. “Oh, I think we’ll be OK…”

…and cue video.
stuhfoo

was that really 18 hotdogs??
I used “industrial” toilet at an airport in dubia once… it sucked the water so fast, not to mention it was loud. Wonder how loud this one is
Enochrewt

Bah, I could break this toilet after an evening at the Sizzler.

Note to those who insist on “Will it blend” meme jokes: It’s not funny anymore, it’s day has been had. Please take your polyester bell bottoms and pet rocks and go home.
trimeta

#3: No, what you do is see if a Blendtec blender will first shred and then flush.
Lord Humongous

The gold standard in toilet flushing is a dead cat.
Dillenger69

All that stuff was loose. Lets see it handle a layer of Toilet Paper topped with hot dogs topped with another layer of TP topeed with dog food and another wad of TP for good measure.

If it can flush that, then I’ll be impressed.
helza nishnit

..oh st. thomas, the saint of wasting grapes…
Anonymous

All through that video I could only hope for my poop to never look like that…
Teresa Nielsen Hayden / Community Manager

I can’t recall when I’ve laughed this hard at a comment thread.

Latente @50: I believe the reason American toilets are so much bigger than European models is that so many of them went into newly constructed buildings, instead of being retrofitted into already-cramped bathrooms that might themselves have been late additions to the floor plan. Also, most of them were being supplied from and discharging into relatively new and capacious water and sewer systems.

I’ve heard Brits refer to our showers as “car washes,” so apparently the scale carries over to our other fixtures.

Entropy @65, the “shit platform” was explained to me as a health measure, since it makes it easier to evaluate your stools.

Zuzu @74: Not ethnic jokes, just regional variations in engineering. Every country has some. I understand high-end Japanese toilets are sublime, and require complex electronic controls.
coolvoodoo

It’s not the poop, it’s the toilet paper that always plugs up the toilet………..let’s see it try to flush some Charmin’!!!! That’s the real test.
zuzu

Mrs. Premise: Well well well. ‘Course, Mrs. Essence flushed hers down the loo.
Mrs. Conclusion: Ooh! No! You shouldn’t do that – no that’s dangerous. Yes, they breed in the sewers, and eventually you get evil-smelling flocks of huge soiled budgies flying out of people’s lavatories infringing their personal freedom.
xraytech

I am amazed at the power of the toilet, but will the environmental people protest at the types of items being flushed. I wish i had one of these at home with 2 males in their 20′s max’ing out my sewer system.
The Lizardman

This just makes me think that a lot of people need to invest less in toilets and more in healthier diets.
moebrook

Can it flush a topcoat?
Sidra

This seems like a really bad idea to me. I mean, isn’t at least part of the point of the small opening in the toilets to prevent you from flushing something too large for your pipes to handle? Sure this toilet will flush anything, but I can only imagine all of that stuff will get stuck somewhere in the maze of pipes in your house, which is a little bit more expensive and time consuming to fix than using the ol’ plunger.
Anonymous

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DY3O6q76Ioo

Plucky Duck would have loved this!
Shithead

I feel that I must post something in this thread simply because of my name.
dssstrkl

Oh. My. God. My house desperately needs one of those. Like right the fuck now!
gulo gulo

man that comma is really getting me bummed out right now.

i was in guatemala two weeks ago doing homestay and for the first few days i had to just eat bread and airport food cause of layovers and then when i finally pooped it was just this brick sitting there staring me the fuck down like “i dare you to try something.” i returned the favor. guatemalan plumbing is not one of the selling points of guatemala and cannot even handle toilet paper so it was out of an empiricist curiosity that i flushed initially. didn’t even budge. there wasn’t a plunger in the room and i am not the sort to just chin up and ask so i had to macgyver it with a pencil. then i had a poopy pencil and i didn’t want my family to be getting foul ideas about how i spend my free time so i wrapped it in toilet paper before i threw it away
nosehat

This reminds me of Mr. Rogers singing:

You can never go down,
Can never go down,
The drain.

In the segment he stood inside a toilet and flushed it, to quell this particular fear in his tiny audience members.

A toilet like this would induce nightmares in toddlers.
Hamish Kuzminski

>>euphemistic carrot batons
…so the hot dogs and grapes /aren’t/ euphemistic, then?!
Anonymous

I would be worried about the standard of you house drains. They would would for ever be getting blocked by Foreign Objects as you demonstrated you very cool toilet.
Anonymous

They have already combined a blender and a toilet. Google “macerator toilet”
Anonymous

Am I the only one who sees this as a wonderful metaphor for 21st century first world society? Consume and discard without question, and if you can’t see it then it isn’t a problem…
arkizzle

Teresa, I heard the same thing about the shit-shelf when I was living in Holland (we don’t have it in Ireland or the UK). It was actually told in a kind of ‘Daily Mail’ tone, by one of my hyper-sensationalist friends, so I didn’t believe her at first.

Apparently, because the Dutch have a fondness for raw meats, it is for checking your stool for worms (among more generic health uses, I’m sure). I don’t know the truth of it, but your suggestion of “health measure” adds quite a bit of weight to the discussion.. a couple of courics at least :)
Anonymous

Gotta wonder what the people working at the sewage plant thought when they were doing this experiment. “WTF is going to show up next?”
jackie31337

coolvoodoo@9 It’s not the poop, it’s the toilet paper that always plugs up the toilet………..let’s see it try to flush some Charmin’!!!! That’s the real test.

I agree, let’s see some toilet paper tests. During the Christmas holidays, we visited my boyfriend’s family at their approximately 100-year-old farm house. My 5-year-old daughter put quite a lot of toilet paper into the toilet, and I foolishly thought it would flush. Last I heard, that toilet was still out of commission. I’m not sure even this toilet would help, though, since as Sidra @13 pointed out, the plumbing probably wouldn’t have been able to handle it anyway.
moloko

I could see DEVO making a video like this back in the ’80s…
shashi2005

Does it blend?
sf

I was waiting for the…

“Human Flesh – 3 lbs. Body disposal in only 60 flushes*”

*Number of flush may vary between size of murder victim.
Ratdog

I was saddened to see those gummy bears and grapes to be flushed away. Such a waste…

On another note, there are some amazingly weird stories on this thread.
arkizzle

I fear your hand slipped, in that last lesson, master..
Anonymous

My wife just said… “yeah, but 3.5lbs of golf balls is heavier than 3.5lbs of hot dogs”. Oh dear. Nice video, very impressive toilet.
arkizzle

Ah.. and like that! it was gone..

The lesson is learnt, I’m sorry I doubted you.
Anonymous

oh, I just found a place for sharing my feelings:

a shit platform is great, because if your shit falls on porcelain instead of water, it won’t make the water plop back in your ass… really, what a stupid idea to put a little pool just where the thing lands. Just imagine the journeys the germs might get.

uh.
Takuan

(pesky movable type, in my day we carved our electrons from good oak and maple!)
13tales

@22 Clearly we think along similar lines >:D
Ghede

… I’d believe it was the flushingest toilet if they stopped using solid things and started using liquids. How about 2 pints of chocolate milk-shake? If the water doesn’t come back at least a little bit brown, I’d be impressed.
mappo

This toilet would be great if people pooped like deer. Large quantities of small object do not equate to small quantities of large objects.
overunger

” Will it FLUSH ? ”
erissian

That was oddly hypnotic.
messmor

but the question remains… can it flush a corpse?
Anonymous

They need to be more realistic with the items chosen for flushing, such as “1.5 kilos of coke” or “$20,000 in counterfeit bills” or “23 goldfish”
misterfricative

I kept waiting for this video to actually go somewhere, but it’s just repetitive. Since this product seems to be positioning itself as the world’s most pretentious toilet, I was hoping for something a little more creative. So many missed opportunities!

In any case, what’s up with all this pussy footing around? Will it flush an oversize turd with a wadded TP chaser, or won’t it?

And will it flush kilo bags of, um, evidence?

@#3 Hey, nice reference. I love that movie.

@#6 No, that didn’t look like 18 hotdogs to me either.
InsertFingerHere

I’ve never been disappointed by the toilets in Poland when I go to visit. Most have that ‘shit shelf’ , which is bad enough, but I’ve also never seen a bathroom with an exhaust fan. You’ve got showers, toilets, and no fan?

The washrooms in Poland are the smelliest things ever. It’s not rocket science.

Also, they should have let that dog food sit in the bowl for 5 minutes, let it absorb some water.. then try and flush that sucker.
zuzu

The washrooms in Poland are the smelliest things ever. It’s not rocket science.

Ah, ethnic jokes… :p
bassemb

Pf. Let them try to flush 3 lb of cookie dough, and then i’ll be impressed. The items used in the video are very easy to flush.
boing friggin boing

This advert is crap(ahem). Seems this toilet is good a disposing of things which can float, whoop-de-do. What about something about the size and flexibility of two coke can stuck end to end. Something difficult from the head-straining, embolism-inducing 2-3 region of the Bristol Stool Scale(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bristol_Stool_Scale)
bcsizemo

I’m not really seeing what’s so impressive…

I installed an American Standard Champion toilet in my previous house probably over 2 years ago. It was the best thing I ever did. We went from plunging 3-5 times a week to once a year.

And yeah they have a video on their website showing things like 2 dozen golf balls and stuff like this. It was a little loud, but nothing like a full line pressure toilet found in businesses.

As we renovate the bathrooms in our new house, Champions are going in….
Beanolini

An American visitor at the company I work for was amazed at the strength of our toilets’ flush; he described it as ‘hardcore’.

The sewage systems in Greece are apparently unable to cope with flushing paper (small diameter pipes, I think), so all toilets are provided with a bin for soiled toilet roll. I found this rather unpleasant.
sfbooklady

Ask any building manager, s/he will tell ‘em
“Flush half a dozen tampons, then we’ll talk.”
Dave Rattigan

[Pride]I’ve watched the video, and I still doubt its ability to flush one of MY turds.[/pride]
teufelsdroch

Great thumb bass!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xx30MTgDhAA

I’d like to see it flush 3 lb of bear poop.
tastewar

Must have. I was relieved to see the plastic letters go down, because that’s the exact shape and texture of my BM’s. With the occasional rook or knight mixed in.
zuzu

[Pride]I’ve watched the video, and I still doubt its ability to flush one of MY turds.[/pride]

How many Courics are they, typically?
kpkpkp

@3 – Beat me to it!
jimbuck

re 31

It’s just just Greece that has bins for used toilet paper. I’ve seen offices in Mexico City with bins the same thing. I didn’t even realize what they were for until one of my American coworkers commented to me about it – over dinner, not in the actual bathroom. I poop alone.
Anonymous

Anybody got a model number for this beast, or a product link to a retailer? I could certainly use one of these, I’m sick of plunging my el-cheapo “Crane”.
zuzu

Tiny Toon Adventures – The Potty Years
Anonymous

Am I the only one who thought, “Wow if I wanted to I could safely keep a kilo of cocaine now.” Just keep it above the toilet, and flush when law enforcement knocks.

I’m joking…sorta.
zuzu

Trainspotting – The Worst Toilet in Scotland
zuzu

Note to those who insist on “Will it blend” meme jokes: It’s not funny anymore, it’s day has been had. Please take your polyester bell bottoms and pet rocks and go home.

…and blend them?
Anonymous

This could verry well turn out to be the worst thing that ever happend to the sewersystems and water cleaning facilities..
mistersquid

It’s bad enough we flush our shit and piss into the bottom end of our water supply after we’ve chemically treated it. Now we can flush all kinds of other things right down the toilet: tampons, condoms, q-tips, rubber gloves, drug paraphernalia, contraband substances.

This is not amusing; this is a business plan. And it’s straight out of our unsustainable past.
Takuan

@3
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZqqH1kwLdk&feature=related
Latente

just for my curiosity.
why all American toilet have a little pool inside?
Anonymous

Yeah, the people who made this commercial seem to lack a basic understanding of the properties of human feces.
Gronk

1. A laminated print-out of th Bristol Stool Chart is taped to the tile wall right next to our toilet. We’re still drawing the line at keeping a tally with a grease pencil right next to it, though.

Wikipedia, you keep pouring sunshine into our daily life.

2. Before I moved here I used to live in a shoddily built flat which featured (among other attractions like a door missing a handwidth of, well, door at the bottom)* a toilet that refused to flush.

Well, it flushed all right, but if whatever you tried to flush was larger than a small party sausage it came slowly creeping back out of the hole. You had to threaten it with the toilet brush and give it a good poke while flushing with the other hand and balancing on one foot (the other foot was busy keeping the toilet lid from slamming back down).

In those days I really learned to appreciate a well-flushing toilet with powerful torrents of water.

3. Is this really the most advanced flushing system we can come up with? I keep remembering, now and then, for odd reasons of my own, the frictionless improved Motie-built toilet “The Mote in God’s Eye”.

This thing here still seems to use a lot of water.

4. Am I the only one who kept wishing the guy in the video would finally fill the whole bowl with stuff, so I could see it vanish into the rapacious maw of Shai-Hulud’s watery cousin?

* You could vacuum the floor inside the room from the outside. While the door was closed.
sciencemike

I knew the comments on this would likely be more hilarious than the Amazing vid. And y’all did not disappoint.

@#12 nice Cosby reference!

@29 Thanks for the link to the Bristol Stool Scale I will now be classifying all of my future BMs.
Anonymous

I will keep this in mind the next time I decide to eat 4 entire chess sets.
Anonymous

Nice, but all of the crap from this demonstration is now in our septic system?
Gronk

Man, I really need to proof-read my comments twice.
quickasfoxes

BUT WHERE DOES IT ALL GO
Domomojo

They didn’t do the miso test:
http://www.treehugger.com/files/2006/10/the_flusher_kin_1.php
Phleebus

to #76, No it’s still funny.

I can imagine the gleam in the eye of all drain technicians after seeing this, for all those stuck pipes that will have to be snaked.

Also, think of the amount of blow you could flush down this thing if the fuzz showed up at your door.
Anonymous

The video does nothing to convince me that it’s going to work correctly.

Virtually every plug I’ve seen has been due to two logs (which could have been one that split in two at flushing time) trying to go down at the same time and getting jammed next to each other.
Anonymous

Wow…

You Americans really eat everything, don’t you?

=)
STB2000

I’m not impressed.
The one in my house was made by Haines, Jones and Cadbury. It’s from around 1910 or so. And I doubt it would have any problem with the stuff in the video.
The connected plumbing is big enough to handle it as well.
Only one clog in 12 years, and I think that was quite a few paper towels, and it cleared itself with a second flush.
Grisly

#42 The pool is so that the smells of the sewer don’t come up into the bathroom.
Anonymous

Everything flushed in the demonstration was particulate. I’ll bet it couldn’t flush those gummi bears if they were all on a single euphemistic string.
scaught

Something about actual food being flushed (even if they were just gummy bears) is disgusting to me.
Ratdog

@#79 Quickasfoxes

Where does it all go?

Well, to the great sewage canal in the sky…

That or into some wildlife reservation.
obeyken

Isn’t that the same music as the Tom Cruise/Scientology video?
goldmineguttd

The hypnotic money-flushing scene from The Seventh Continent is on youtube here, at around the 6:30 mark.
apoxia

Only in America – both the waste of perfectly good food/objects, and the apparent need for a toilet that can handle massive amounts of poop.
Latente

#46
buy why is so big? it’s 3 time bigger than a European toilet.
zuzu

Americans don’t have to share water supply with a bidet like Europeans do. ;)
dole

I only count 15 hot dogs. This is after capping it and running it through vdub. When they switch to the close up, there’s 4, maybe 5 dogs in the bowl and another 10 or so fall out. I call shenanigans, and if you think “3 hot dogs, big deal”, you tell that to Takeru Kobayashi.

Unless they’re marketing this to post-op gastric bypass patients, drop 4 or 5 microwave burritos in there, then we’ll talk.
kababok

I prefer toilets with a shit platform. Makes it much easier to rate your turd. Plus if you need to chop it up with a breadknife, it’s easily done. The greatest invention since the actual slicing of bread.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4eSTkkELpes
entropy

#50 i think the water in an attempt to cut down smells as a poo in water will stink somewhat less then a poo in open air.

#53 I always sorta wondered why toilets in europe had a “shit platform” and did not believe that it was for the reason you mentioned but unless it’s too cut down on plopping poop noises i can’t figure out any other reason…
kababok

It’s also useful to see if you got worms.
Salty

If people pooped copiously like goats, this toilet would solve every need.
rancor01

I had a roommate in college, and she was bulimic or anorexic or something, and anyhow that whole sickness gives your poops a girth the size of cola cans. She kept a knife next to the toilet to chop hers up before she flushed because they wouldnt go down.. Shame we didnt have one of these, as there were a few guests that delivered that knife back to the kitchen by mistake.
KWillets

Now I understand the stimulus package.
goldmineguttd

Will It Flush?

Brings to mind a scene in The Seventh Continent.
Takuan

not one Al Bundy reference?

In any case, a flush like that is bad news. Instead of having a chance at clearing the towel the toddler tried to flush at the U-bend, you will almost certainly be dealing with a blockage waaayyy down the pipe where it is difficult and expensive to fix.