Newt promises moonbase

"By the end of my second term we will have the first permanent base on the moon." [NPR. Photo: Eric Thayers/Reuters]

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coryf

That’s no moon, that’s a battlestation!
- Shashwath T.R.
  
  Hmm, that would make Newt the Emperor…
  
  Sounds about right…
  - zarray
    
    If the emperor ate like a rancor.
Nicky G

He’s got MY vote in the general election!

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH J/K
Stooge

But I wanted a pony!
- http://maggiekb.com/ Maggie Koerth-Baker
  
  Newt/Vermin Supreme 2012!
  - http://deansli.st/ Dean Putney
    
    Vermin would never play second fiddle! Maybe second boot hat, but not fiddle!
acidrain69

We should send him there to scout out a location. No spacesuit, he will have to survive off his own hot air.
- Andrew Singleton
  
  He exists in a vaccume as is. So I forsee no problems.
couchguy

Even DD Harriman didn’t want to go to the moon THAT badly!
Samuel Valentine

In space, no one can hear you pander.
A Nonny Moose

I’m insanely curious as to how, exactly, he plans on paying for it.
- http://mordicai.livejournal.com Mordicai
  
  He has made ill defined statements about “corporate partnerships.” So look for Pepsi Co. Tranquility Moon Base, Brought to You by Enron, (Kept Alien Safe for 100 Days by Whatever Blackwater is Calling Itself Now).
  - alfanovember
    
    /me turns to page 223
- Felton / Moderator
  
  If we make it a theme park, it’ll pay for itself in the long run.
- MarkV
  
  For perspective: the fiscal year 2010 budget of the Department of Defense was 663 billion dollars. The TOTAL cost of the ENTIRE Apollo program (1961-1972) was between 136 and 170 billion in 2007 dollars–AND that was an investment. The return on investment of R&D alone was 33 percent as of 1987 according to the Midwest Research Institute.
  - lorq
    
    Good! Then he’s welcome to pull that money straight from the defense budget.
    - http://twitter.com/alexstapleton Alex Stapleton
      
      That’s no moon…
      
      For a sufficiently large orbital laser weapons system, just cramming the hardware on the near side of the moon might be the easiest option.
- skabob
  
  TANSTAAFL!
Mujokan

He means his second term in the year 3002, when runs for President of Earth as a head in a jar.
- Steve Lord
  
  Don’t blame me, I voted for the head of Morbo’s good friend, Richard Nixon!
- http://www.matthewpetty.com/ Matthew Petty
  
  not a jar, a goldfish bowl amirite?
Matthew Stone

I’m guessing we’d probably be forced to move to the moon anyway after two terms under him. >>;
http://mordicai.livejournal.com Mordicai

I would say this is him courting the nerds who love Ron Paul, but his fiction is ripe with this sort of stuff; I think he actually means it. Or would mean it, if waving your hands & saying “corporate partnership!” was an actual means to funding. Which it isn’t. & selling The Moon to McDonalds is a bad idea, to boot.
- http://boingboing.net/ Rob Beschizza
  
  Newt is a legendary futurist.
  - lknope
    
    All the best historians are.
    - gws
      
      I wouldn’t say Gingrich is one of the BEST historians.
      - lknope
        
        Only one of the best paid.
TheKaz1969

But.. but.. didn’t GW Bush promise a base on Mars? Why do we need another base in outerspace?
- http://deansli.st/ Dean Putney
  
  Space is the place!
- http://www.matthewpetty.com/ Matthew Petty
  
  Lebensraumschiff
bcsizemo

Hey as crazy as he sounds at least he wants to get back to space. If anything I’d like to see NASA have some type of launch vehicle that can get people up there.
- ialreadyexist
  
  I doubt he cares even a little bit about getting back into space. Newt’s kicking it old-school. Toss out all kinds of promises believing that the general public is gullible enough to believe it. He might be right.
  - http://twitter.com/incarnedine_v Dan Hibiki
    
    He’s just after that elusive moon gold.
    - mccrum
      
      Ah yes, the gold buried by Lincoln. I remember it well, it’s just past that one crater with the big rock.
      - ShawShaw
        
        Ohh… THAT moon gold. Dirk Pitt already beat you to it, I’m afraid.
      - mccrum
        
        You’re thinking of the Confederate moon gold,buried in their space ironclad after they captured Lincoln. Totally different. Lincoln’s treasure has never been found.
beslayed

He’s courting the Moonie vote.
EssArt

Under Newt’s direction surely this will be a peaceful and non-weaponized endeavor.
http://halfbakedmaker.org Robert Baruch

Congratulations, Rob, the headline plus the photo are perfect!
- http://www.flickr.com/photos/mennonot/sets/ mennonot
  
  I agree, this wins my award for most-cleverly-chosen-otherwise-mundane photo to illustrate a BoingBoing story. It’s right up there with the bunny/duck and old woman/young woman illusions.
Blazeldude

I heard there was weapons of mass destruction there.
sean

Moonbase? I’m still waiting for my jetpack. First things first, huh newt?
Felton / Moderator

He and the Earth have an open relationship, you know?
- Someone Else
  
  SHHH!!!! He hasn’t actually told the Earth that yet. He’s waiting until it gets cancer or MS or something.
  - mccrum
    
    I feel this is appropriate here:
    http://www.pbfcomics.com/archive_b/PBF248-Transmission.jpg
- http://maggiekb.com/ Maggie Koerth-Baker
  
  He’s totally going to leave us for a younger, prettier country.
  - Felton / Moderator
    
    If he does that, our rebound president should be an actual Muslim socialist from Kenya. That’ll show ‘im!
- ShawShaw
  
  In that case he better be careful. I’ve heard this mistress of his is a harsh one ;)
ackpht

ALL YOUR VOTE ARE BELONG TO US
Talia

Just sayin’.
- bcsizemo
  
  Obviously going back to the moon is not a good idea.
http://twitter.com/strugglngwriter strugglngwriter

They can use his head as a model of the Moon during the design phase. It’s nearly the same size after all.
dpamac

For the record, I made this campaign promise when I ran for class president in 8th grade.
Graysmith

So a moon base approved, designed, shipped and built and ready within 8 years, huh? Maybe that could’ve happened with the spirit of the 60s and the technology of today, but in this day and age I’d be surprised if you’d even have concept designs for a moon base after 8 years.
bjacques

He heard about the Amazon Women on the Moon and wants to keep his options open.
ookluh

Thus spoke that there Newtster
- cmdrfire
  
  Yup.
BookGuy

He’s still pissed about the Mooninites from Aqua Teen Hunger Force tormenting Boston with their space terrorism. It’s time for payback.
- bcsizemo
  
  I thought it was more along the lines of someone writing “Da Moon Rulz #1″ on the side of his car…
Chuck

Let’s see… Moon bases? Open marriages? Maybe he’s going after the Heinlein fan vote. (Who knows, he might be.)
http://www.lightning-rose.com/ LightningRose

If you think Newt’s an idiot, you should see his supporters.
Ito Kagehisa

Pfft. Lame. Lyndon LaRouche promises that by the end of his third eight-year term we will have a viable colony on Mars!

Now that’s visionary, see… most people would have to mix mescal and peyote to have that kind of vision, but LaRouche can do it stone sober.
awjt

“Promise them the moon, Newt. But when you’re elected, give them indefinite detention.”
(Dick Cheney’s advice to Newt when he was deciding whether or not to run for President.)
t3kna2007

Pretty easy to counter, politically: I see your moonbase and I raise you a Mars landing *and* an asteroid mission. All just as likely within the timeframe mentioned, absent a Red Scare. I give Newt points for understanding and articulating the romance part, though. Some things we do to live, some things we live for. (Points off for being a narcissistic shmuck and derailing two years’ worth of national dialog over a blowjob.)
IronEdithKidd

In Newt’s universe, it’s still 1970-something. ” We must beat the Soviets in this race to build a moonbase!”
http://maggiekb.com/ Maggie Koerth-Baker

Beets. Bears. Battlestar Galactica.
- Mark Dow
  
  The spawn will be Newt Shrute.
http://nelc.livejournal.com/ NelC

I think I found the Newt’s new campaign video. You can see him at about 0:14, and the Moonbase at about 0:55. I’m all for the new moonbase if it includes purple-haired space-babes.
http://pocketprogressive.org Uncle Geo

Please, please, PLEASE let him be the nominee!
- Gunn
  
  Be careful what you wish for. The Republican nominees usually look ridiculous to the Left: Nixon/Agnew, a skulking loser and a ludicrous yahoo? Ronald Regan, the actor? George W. Bush, the mouthy frat boy? It’s all fun and games until one of them gets elected.
townandgownie

Of course, only people with open marriages will be eligible to be residents of Moon Base Newt.
Xander

By 2021, he’ll be 22 years too late.

Will it, at least, be called “Moonbase Alpha”?
Navin_Johnson

A rat done bit my sister Nell.
(with Whitey on the moon)
Her face and arms began to swell.
(and Whitey’s on the moon)
I can’t pay no doctor bill.
(but Whitey’s on the moon)
Ten years from now I’ll be payin’ still.
(while Whitey’s on the moon)
The man jus’ upped my rent las’ night.
(’cause Whitey’s on the moon)
No hot water, no toilets, no lights.
(but Whitey’s on the moon)
I wonder why he’s uppi’ me?
(’cause Whitey’s on the moon?)
I wuz already payin’ ‘im fifty a week.
(with Whitey on the moon)
Taxes takin’ my whole damn check,
Junkies makin’ me a nervous wreck,
The price of food is goin’ up,
An’ as if all that shit wuzn’t enough:
A rat done bit my sister Nell.
(with Whitey on the moon)
Her face an’ arm began to swell.
(but Whitey’s on the moon)
Was all that money I made las’ year
(for Whitey on the moon?)
How come there ain’t no money here?
(Hmm! Whitey’s on the moon)
Y’know I jus’ ’bout had my fill
(of Whitey on the moon)
I think I’ll sen’ these doctor bills, Airmail special
(to Whitey on the moon)
tvugly

That sounds like a sound use of resources.
David Witt

Yeah, Newt is such a brilliant futurist he is able to obfuscate the fact that he gets his ‘big ideas’ from James Bond films. Luckily, this didn’t escape Stephen Colbert.

COLBERT REPORT: Newt Gingrich is a Bond Villain

Stephen Colbert discovers that all of Newt Gingrich’s craziest ideas about electromagnetic pulses and moon colonies are straight out of James Bond movies.

http://www.gotchamediablog.com/2011/12/colbert-report-newt-gingrich-is-bond.html
- MrsBug
  
  I was JUST going to ask, “Isn’t this the same guy who is paranoid about EMPs?”
bardfinn

Infeasible. Unless his second term occurs in 2040.

Oh wait, we do have a permanent base on the moon. It’s just not manned.
- http://www.matthewpetty.com/ Matthew Petty
  
  Exactly! Define “base”. Define “permanent”.
Mister44

Well – honestly – that would be bad ass. If he gets elected I hope he makes it so.

Our space budget is paltry. Our defense budget is huge. We have the money, we just need to spend it in a different area. Maybe with the cheap drones we have, we can nix more of th F-22s and the like (even though they too are totally awesome.)
http://www.nathanhornby.com/ Nathan Hornby

Why would anyone want a base on the moon? Of all the places? It’s just a baron rock – I’d rather holiday in Swansea.
- MrsBug
  
  Or a duke rock, for that matter.
Guest

War on Terror in Space! Yayy!
- Daniel Smith
  
  I’d much rather see an offensive against NEO asteroids than one in, say, Iran…..
  - Guest
    
    New wants regime change in Iran, but he doesn’t seem to care if that’s before or after the US conquers the moon.
Ipo

Mooned.
http://chicagoscooterclub.com Chicago_SC

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-f_DPrSEOEo

WE LANDED ON THE MOON!!
snagglepuss

IRON SKY !!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=kn3cmYJ4Pw4#!
GregS

Gingrich has long been advocating a much larger manned space program. And frankly, I’d rather have the United States be obsessed with creating a manned moon base as its national project, rather than being obsessed with security paranoia.
Shinkuhadoken

All kidding aside, a moon base would have excellent potential for new clean energy sources. (I’m serious.)
OldBrownSquirrel

The timing of this promise needs to be considered. The Florida primary is coming up. He’s pandering to voters around the Cape. When you’re campaigning in Iowa, you praise corn; when you’re campaigning in Florida, you praise space exploration (and tourism, and curse Castro, etc.). Once the Florida primary is over, he’ll never mention this again, even if he gets the nomination, even if he’s *shudder* elected.
bartoneus

Photoshopped at friend’s request, Emperor Newt: http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7148/6766806627_78f8a9d7d0_b.jpg
http://pocketprogressive.org Uncle Geo

Navin,

What day isn’t brightened by Gil Scot Heron? Thanks!
RandomConnections

Perhaps with that purple-ish tinted hair in the photo he’s hoping to pick up one of these as his next wife…
That_Anonymous_Coward

Am I the only terrified by this idea because I’m pretty sure it would be Moon Gitmo and I’m one of the undesirables he’d want to send there?