Rejected Star Wars toy ideas

Action Figure Insider's Jason Geyer has published a second gallery of rejected toy-ideas he and his co-workers pitched to tie in with the launch of Star Wars: Phantom Menace (the first gallery came out four years ago!). There's some stuff here that's just plain weird, but plenty that is rather cool.

Like the last blog, this group is just a whole bunch of random ideas thrown up against the wall to see what sticks. This project was both fun and frustrating. We had a very limited time to make…whatever is was we were going to make. We were working on many different projects at the same time all this was going on, and we had no clear idea of what the client wanted (mainly because the client wasn’t sure, either). So be kind to some of these pieces. The fabric booksock is not our finest hour.

Rejected Star Wars Strikes Back! (via Super Punch)

I write books. My latest is a YA science fiction novel called Homeland (it's the sequel to Little Brother). More books: Rapture of the Nerds (a novel, with Charlie Stross); With a Little Help (short stories); and The Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow (novella and nonfic). I speak all over the place and I tweet and tumble, too.

MORE: Funny • Gadgets • star wars • toys • Weird

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http://www.youtube.com/user/Freethinkersanon Christopher

As a kid I really would have loved to have both the inflatable Emperor’s chair and Yoda’s Dagobah pencil sharpener.

As an adult I’d still love to have the inflatable Emperor’s chair. I can’t help wondering why it got rejected. And the talking Darth Vader chip clip. Come on. Who wouldn’t love a chip clip that says, “I have you now!”?
- jimh
  
  I was thinking “All too easy.”
semiotix

I’m genuinely astonished to learn that any Star Wars merchandising, ever, anywhere, was rejected for any reason whatsoever.
- Antinous / Moderator
  
  I’m genuinely astonished to learn that any Star Wars merchandising, ever, anywhere, was rejected for any reason whatsoever.
  
  Well that seems like a challenge for somebody to create a Jar Jar Binks buttplug.
  - jimh
    
    Mesa not wanna go into theesa hole, nossir! Mesa gettin’ very very scared!
IronEdithKidd

I might’ve bought a deathstar basketball. I definately would’ve eaten ramen for a couple weeks to get my hands on an inflatable Emporer’s chair.

Say, whatever happened to the deathstar beach ball?
Wisconsin Platt

http://www.actionfigureinsider.com/ottertorials/wp-content/gallery/rsw_pepsi/toppersculpts.jpg

I can understand that the straw would emerge from the light saber on the Yoda Cup Topper.

But what about Chewbacca?

Chewbacca doesn’t have a light saber to extend and become a straw.
- http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=509321150 Jason Geyer
  
  The straw would have come out of his (unsculpted) crossbow blaster as the “laser”.
- pupdog
  
  Come on dude, it’s a penis. Not that hard…
  - jramboz
    
    That’s what she said…
http://profile.yahoo.com/VXZR5O7V6PAI4WGEVOZULEQNGI robert

Can we as the great internet community make some sort of agreement to take a year long break from Star Wars? God knows I loved that movie as a kid and saw it a dozen times in the theater, but Jesus, I think enough is enough. What is left to take from it? The movie is 30 years old and I don’t think I can go a day without seeing some reference to it on the internet. It’s tired. Let’s move on. Maybe we can do a funny take on those Shepard Fairey Obama posters. That would be clever. Or spoof those old inspirational posters with the black borders?
- http://evilbobdayjob.blogspot.com/ Deidzoeb
  
  Yeah, and also CATS! Dang internet.
  - http://profile.yahoo.com/VXZR5O7V6PAI4WGEVOZULEQNGI robert
    
    Goddamn CATS!
    - http://evilbobdayjob.blogspot.com/ Deidzoeb
      
      You’re right. Come to think of it, since the internet is made for porn but made OF cats, it would crumble if someone tried to remove the cats. It would be like taking the wheels off a car and still expecting it to work. Extracting Star Wars would be like taking off an axle.
      - jimh
        
        It would be as if millions of servers suddenly cried out in terror, and were suddenly silenced.
- IronEdithKidd
  
  Obligatory “get off my lawn” comment duly noted.
  
  That said. NO. Don’t like it? Find another internet or less geeky sites to haunt.
PhosPhorious

A Lightside/Darkside salt and pepper shaker set is the greatest idea that anyone has ever had, ever.

Ever.
HahTse

I would have bought the throne at once.

I mean…HOW COOL IS THAT THING?!?!?!111
- leidentech
  
  What’chew’talkin’bout willis? I’d still mo’fo buy that throne.
dasanjos

I guess the site was boing-boinged :)
http://www.downforeveryoneorjustme.com/www.actionfigureinsider.com

But fear not, way back machine has a copy!
http://liveweb.archive.org/http://www.actionfigureinsider.com/ottertorials/2012/02/26/rejected-star-wars-strikes-back/
i_prefer_yeti

Going back to the original list, the inflatable Death Start would work well using the same tech as those flying/floating remote controlled sharks. Indeed, I won’t be surprised in the least to see a tie fighter or one of those new-fangled clone wars series ships on the market shortly.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=14227233 Tim Nolan

How long does the copyright stand on these. I would love to make a speederbike pushbike for my son…
- Sparrow
  
  If you’re making it yourself and not selling it, copyright shouldn’t be an issue.
http://evilbobdayjob.blogspot.com/ Deidzoeb

That’s sad. Training academy class rings that would have been awarded to the younglings if they hadn’t been [*spoiler alert*] massacred by Anakin.
jimh

What a missed opportunity for the Jar-Jar Binks™ inflatable punching bag.
http://daniel.friesen.name/ Daniel Friesen

Who the hell rejected the Han Solo in carbonite popsicle mold?
- flickerKuu
  
  Han Solo?
yobar

That Vader lavalamp and my black light would have gone together so well!
Bucket

I don’t even use windshield sun blockers, but the one (from the first installment) with the cockpit of the Millennium Falcon is pure genius.

ThinkGeek has Han Solo in carbonite ice cube trays, very similar to your popsicle molds in most respects.
grimatongueworm

Man, they would have sold a Brazillion of those Academy rings.
Hanglyman

These are really imaginative, but I can see why some of them wouldn’t sell well. Even the most rabid Star Wars fan would be embarrassed to have a goddamn R2-D2 slide projector or Star Wars golf set. Well, maybe the second most rabid fan would be, anyway.
Preston Sturges

Maybe the inflatable throne will show up in Henchman 21′s dorm room.
samhandwich

How did they come up with SO MANY bad ideas?
http://twitter.com/Skyhawk1 skyhawk1

When are they going to make the slave Leia popsicle mold?