Luke did not need a god damn beard trimmer

The force prefers nearly trimmed facial hair, according to this Norelco line of Star Wars shavers.

Star Wars: The Last Jedi shared my perfect idea of a Jedi: Luke living on a windswept cliff over the sea, wearing comfortable robes and to hell with beautycare. Cranky old failed Jedi have bushy beards. R2D2 never had a beard trimmer attachment.

Now that Finn is out of the storm trooper helmet and has paid a visit to Maz' funky club, maybe'll give us some great 70s action hero hair! If this trimmer is anything like a Storm trooper, it'll miss all the hair anyways.

Who is the person who really wants a Snokes-personal-guard-themed beard trimmer? What is wrong with them? Kylo can't even grow one!

Is there an Ewok sculpting attachment?

Poe Dameron is a war criminal. Dameron did more to kill the Rebellion/Resistance than Palpatine and Vader combined.

Am I the only person who remembers General Jan Dodanna's awesome hair?

Obi-Wan Kenobi had the best beard in all of Star Wars. Read the rest

The Star Wars 'Cantina Band' as played on a Rubik's Cube

Last week we witnessed the Star Wars "Cantina Band" theme song being played with a pencil as a math formula. Now, YouTuber TheCubician has made of a video of him playing the song simply by manipulating a Rubik's Cube.

It now seems like a challenge to come up with new, crazy ways to play the song. What's the logical progression of this? The spoons? Bong hits? What you got, internet?

!function(){function t(){for(h=[],n=document.getElementsByTagName("iframe"),i=0;in?360:n)+"px")}var n,i,o,a,h=[],c="";(a=window.addEventListener)||(a=window.attachEvent)&&(c="on"),a(c+"load",t),a(c+"resize",e),t()}(); Read the rest

I bought this set for the LEGO Yoda minifig

My daughter loves building LEGO Star Wars anything, so Yoda's Starfighter is just fine by her. At 262 pieces, this is a perfect short afternoon project for a 10 year-old.

I wanted the Yoda minifig.

LEGO Star Wars Yoda's Jedi Starfighter via Amazon Read the rest

The Star Wars 'Cantina Band' as played by a pencil in a math equation

YouTuber Dani Ochoa says she's a "girl with too much time on her hands," but I disagree. I think figuring out the math formula to play the Star Wars "Cantina Band" song with just a paper and pencil is exactly what she should be doing with her time.

Listen to this and compare:

(reddit) Read the rest

Girl plays the Star Wars Cantina theme using math and well-timed pencil strokes

Dani Ochoa, a self-described " girl with too much time on her hands," writes, "I spent way too much time figuring this out." Read the rest

A Sarlacc Pit baby-lounger: "allow the young one to snuggle in awesomeness without the fear of being digested over a thousand years!"

Bed Hog Shop, an Etsy seller from Bethlehem, PA, sells these custom made, $138 Sarlacc Pit baby loungers: " (would also likely be suitable for small pets): "Own your Star Wars fandom and allow the young one to snuggle in awesomeness without the fear of being digested over a thousand years!" (via Geeks Are Sexy) Read the rest

Astronauts watching Star Wars on the ISS

The crew of the International Space Station watch Star Wars: The Last Jedi in this photograph posted to Twitter by astronaut Mark. T. Vande Hei: "Space Station movie night, complete with “bungee cord chairs”, drink bags, and a science fiction flick!" Read the rest

Star Wars bakery crushes it with this gingerbread Imperial Star Destroyer

While I've been struggling to make a gingerbread house from a simple Trader Joe's kit, the instagrammers that call themselves the Star Wars Bakery have been busy creating this massive gingerbread Class-II Imperial Star Destroyer.

Their sweet, meticulously-iced warship was displayed at Stockholm, Sweden headquarters of EA DICE, the video game developer behind the Star Wars: Battlefront games series.

Our creation is now standing at @ea.dice’s office in Stockholm 🚀 #Starwars #DICE #EAGames #gingerbread #christmas #starwarschristmas #stardestroyer

A post shared by Star Wars Bakery 🍪 (@starwars_bakery) on Dec 19, 2017 at 8:23am PST

Yesterday we drove this beauty to @EA.dice in Stockholm. And it didn’t break 🙌🏼 | #starwars #dice #eagames #stardestroyer #gingerbread #christmas #starwarschristmas

A post shared by Star Wars Bakery 🍪 (@starwars_bakery) on Dec 19, 2017 at 11:40pm PST

Thank you @EA.Dice for letting us use your hangar during the holidays. ❄️ And thank’s to all of you who’s been supporting our work! 🍪 May the force be with you! 🎅🏼 | #starwars #gingerbread #stardestroyer #darkside #starwarsbakery #christmas

A post shared by Star Wars Bakery 🍪 (@starwars_bakery) on Dec 21, 2017 at 12:13pm PST

(reddit, Neatorama) Read the rest

Artist turns vintage Louis Vuitton luggage into marvelous Star Wars sculptures

Wow, these Star Wars-inspired sculptures are really mind-blowing.

To make them, artist Gabriel Dishaw of Indianapolis, Indiana marries junk with upcycled 1970s Louis Vuitton luggage.

While the thought of tearing up vintage Vuitton may make some gasp, certainly no one deny the end products are pretty spectacular.

Dishaw was recently featured in the Indy Star about his SW/LV pieces:

One time, while he was vacationing in northern Michigan, a pile of vintage Louis Vuitton luggage in a store called out to Gabriel Dishaw.

He spotted junk-art potential in the suitcases' every detail: the golden emblems that dance across the chocolate background, the zippers, the handles, the drawstring from the dust bag.

So he purchased one, took it apart when he arrived back home in Fishers and began building Darth Vader helmet sculptures. After he posted his progress on Instagram, @gabrieljunkart, people began asking to buy them.

"People were like 'Oh my God, these are my two passions — Louis Vuitton and Star Wars,'" Dishaw said.

He had no idea people who were fans of both brands even existed.

Prices for the pieces start at $2500, though I believe all the ones shown here have already been sold.

Keep tabs on Mr. Dishaw's latest work on his Instagram.

(Bored Panda) Read the rest

Star Toys: a line of Star Wars-themed sex toys

Australian bathing-suit-area-gadget vendor Geeky Sex Toys has launched Star Toys, a line of Star Wars themed sex-toys that include a Dark Side Bondage Kit, a Hand Solo fleshlight, the Darth Vibrator, Vibe Trooper and R2V2, a C3PO buttplug, and Light Saber dildos in Blue, Red and Green. (via Mitch Wagner) Read the rest

Stop charging AT-ATs (What the Rebellion should do in order to improve its anti-Empire tactics)

When I nerdpick a movie, I usually criticize the stupid computers, but I was fascinated by the angry nerding of Angry Staff Officer, a member of the Military Writers Guild, who picked apart the Rebellion's outrageously dumb military tactics (some spoilers). Read the rest

Bad Lip Reading Rap of Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back's Battle of Hoth

"Twenty nights in the ice is a long time, when there's hostiles on the hill."

Read the rest

Watch the first-ever Star Wars trailer from 1977

Back when Star Wars was "an adventure unlike anything on your planet.... A big sprawling space saga of rebellion and romance."

Read the rest

Rogue One is a movie about internet freedom

Sarah Jeong is right (as usual): Rogue One is about internet freedom, a movie about the struggle to upload a large file under time-constraint in a post-Net-Neutrality dystopia where Dropbox is a distant memory and you can't just email a file to yourself for later reference. Read the rest

What does a Jedi use to open a PDF file?

What does a Jedi use to open a PDF file?

Adobe-Wan Kenobi. Read the rest

Biopic of Darth Vader actor David Prowse in the works

Towering English bodybuilder David Prowse was the man actor behind Darth Vader's menacing presence. With James Earl Jones's voice and Sebastian Shaw's face, he helped create one of cinema's greatest villains. But he's also famously eccentric and cantankerous, which will doubtless make the forthcomimg movie about his life more interesting.

Chronicling his journey from champion weightlifter to the biggest bad ass in the universe, Strongman will follow Prowse through his tenure as Green Cross Code man, a British road safety mascot, and his career as an actor, where he appeared in films such as 1967's Casino Royale, A Clockwork Orange, The Horror of Frankenstein, Frankenstein and the Monster from Hell, and others.

One of the peculiar coincidences of Star Wars casting is that Hayden Christiansen, who played a younger Anakin/Vader in the Star Wars prequels, looks uncannily like a young David Prowse, the only Vader actor whose face is never actually seen in the series. When Jedi Return of the Jedi called for mask-off scenes, however, Prowse (and Jones) were replaced by Shaw. If Hayden got the role, that'd be extremely cool. Read the rest

The 'best' Chewbacca impressions these 100 people could muster up on demand

Fans of Star Wars can undoubtedly hear what Chewbacca, the most notable of all the Wookiees, sounds like in their heads. But could they do a decent impression of him on demand?

Watch this video to hear 100 people attempt to speak a little Shyriiwook, Chewie's dialect.

Spoiler alert: Most of these impressions are simply terrible. You have been warned.

And, in case you've been living under a rock, Star Wars: The Last Jedi opens this week in theaters. Read the rest

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