Canada's Parliament summons Anonymous to testify

Idlepigeon sez, "Canada's government has moved to call Anonyomous to testify before the House Affairs Comitte, over threats made to a minister who's been pushing to pass Bill C30---online surveillance legislation. In this very funny piece from the Globe and Mail's Tabatha Southey, the entire Internet shows up to testify."

Anonymous is so nebulous that for the federal government to call Anonymous to testify is almost to call the Internet itself – something the government may regret.
“I'd to thank the committee for the opportunity to speak today,” the first witness might say. “The threats against the minister are grave and on the advice of my consul, Mr. Fry, I'd just like to assure the minister that I … am never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna … ”

When political hacks subpoena online hackers, look out for :-(

(Image: Anonymous-Suit-black High Resolution PNG (2404 x 3890), a Creative Commons Attribution (2.0) image from thinkanonymous's photostream)

I write books. My latest is a YA science fiction novel called Homeland (it's the sequel to Little Brother). More books: Rapture of the Nerds (a novel, with Charlie Stross); With a Little Help (short stories); and The Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow (novella and nonfic). I speak all over the place and I tweet and tumble, too.

MORE: anon • c-30 • canada • clueless old aristos • Funny • politics

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http://www.facebook.com/wrgrant Warren Grant

I fear that we are going to lose control of the internet, lose our freedom to access information without content filtering, lose our ability to post our opinions, lose our privacy etc, simply because the people who are making the legislation that shapes our internet access are all far too ignorant concerning same and really don’t “get” what we are concerned about. This is just indicative of this problem.
Hopefully when the new generation takes over, there is still something for us to call the internet left, and not just some push service controlled by Big Media :P
- Sam Jones
  
  i know what you mean man. The generation that is ruling most countries at the moment is really lagging in terms of having a decent idea of how ‘anonymous’ or ‘the internet’ ‘think’. Just like the england, london riots, they try to make specific sense out of things; trying to see patterns in the chaos. Makes me think of the Roscharch test (ink blob studies). And tbh there is a growing trend in the younger generations of distrust with the ruling powers and right now so much truth is coming to light and honestly i think a lot of people are getting wiser to a lot of the BS nowadays.
  - Daniel Smith
    
    This sounds like every new generation to come along since the idea of new generations came to be. Don’t trust anyone over 30.
    - http://www.nathanhornby.com/ Nathan Hornby
      
      I agree, it is pretty classic.
      
      But at the same time moods have shifted (in the UK at least) toward government.
      
      I don’t think there’s anyone that trusts the government anymore, they all have their own reasons, but it’s so universal they have to be getting worried by now.
      - Daniel Smith
        
        I don’t think most people have ever trusted the government. My grandfathers generation, who did the whole great depression thing, was seriously suspicious of anything the government did.
  - Guest
    
    they’re trying to see patterns, other than the obvious ones, because the obvious ones are their doing, and that can’t be tolerated.
- Lloyd
  
  I’d like to say something about a phoenix rising out of the ashes, but I can’t remember the quote.
  
  I feel like when they kill our internet a newer and better one will be right around the corner. That internet will not be tamed and filled with animated gifs.
- Syn -
  
  this. It has been the fear of my life for the last few years. It definitely feels like its going that way.
PhosPhorious

I can haz Habeeuz Corpuz?
http://egypt.urnash.com Egypt Urnash

I foresee LOTS of warnings for contempt of court.
Blaise Pascal

someone might wanna’ give the House Affairs Committee a reading from a special and often underrated book. Allow me to quote, ahem…

anonymous |əˈnänəməs|adjective(of a person) not identified by name; of unknown name
• having no outstanding individual…
InstantPants

<3 Tabatha Southey. I also liked her mashup of environmental romcom, "When Oily Met Earthy"
suburbanhick

Leave it to Harper – an inveterate control freak with ‘little man’ issues – to try to command obedience from ‘the internet’. Like Xerxes commanding the Hellespont to be lashed and shackled. This man is an embarrassment.
- Blaise Pascal
  
  “This man’s toupee is an embarrassment.”
  
  FTFY
http://twitter.com/nothingsmonstrd nothingsmonstered

I think this is a job for the Secretary of the Internet.
- paulj
  
  They would have better luck summoning the Elders of the Internet: http://youtu.be/iDbyYGrswtg
kaellinn18

Someone apparently doesn’t know the definition of anonymous.
http://twitter.com/probative jch

Oh! Canada! Our home and comical land :))
Hakuin

by issuing this order they create “Anonymous” within the legal system. Now anyone they legally designate as “Anonymous” is subject to whatever legal sanction they wish to impose.
scruss

So I guess this is how they’ll get Byron Sonne for /something/ …
http://imcravingpresidency.tumblr.com/ SedanChair

This is the perfect opportunity to build a terrifying Max Headroom box.
ruffneckwelder

Wow. This is udoubtedly THE DUMBEST thing I have ever heard… Evedently our government just don’t get it…
templarsmonochromata

Have you considered that its perhaps more likely to be corruption than ignorance. Perhaps “they” (how nebulous) know exactly what they’re doing.
Corruption can be surprisingly efeffective. In NZ one health minister received a fairly tiny bribe from the liquor industry, and since then he’s made leaps and bounds in the war on drugs. The legal ones, that is, as alternatives to alcohol.
Resulting in hundreds of thousands in lost revenue for small businesses that try to obey the law selling safe, recreational legal highs.
No, it doesn’t cost that much. Follow the money and ask where the finance for new law changes comes from, because somebody approved the money backing.
buyallthethings

They’d have to put a computer, with a browser opened to http://www.4chan.org/b/ or similar, up on the witness stand.I’m sorry, but you have to name a real person, not a self-described moving-target statistical average. What’s next, calling “internet troll” to the stand, or “advice dog”? If they mean, specifically, a specific person, or specific persons, responsible for doing something specific, that would be acceptable, otherwise they really need to be more specific (and less ridiculous).
- David Wyatt
  
  I wish they would put a computer on the stand with a overtly intelligent group of Anonymous’s finest hidden on the other end, to speak on America’s behalf at their “trial”. THEN HAVE THE BALLS TO LET AMERICA HEAR THE JUDGE AND PROSECUTOR GET OWNED BY THEIR OWN LAWS AND REMINDED THAT THEY ARE NOT UNTOUCHABLE…..and also reminded of the little fact that they created Anonymous by being so fucking evil and corrupt that some people couldnt stand it any longer. Its only a matter of time before NOBODY will take it anymore and EVERYONE WILL BE ANONYMOUS…..
  REAP WHAT YOU SEW, PRACTICE WHAT YOU PREACH!!!!!!!!!!
  
  What nobody seems to realize is Anonymous is actually being polite, there are far more costly, dangerous, and deadly things that could be done by them. Furthermore if the big brother/big companies/big wig idiots of the world continue on in this fashion there will literally be no stopping the regular people of America from Revolting… Not a doubt in my mind that is where we are heading, if only the captains in control could take the reigns before its too late and Destruction, Deaths, and Anarchy ensues.
Dan McGovern

The concern trolls in the Canadian Parliament are concerned.
http://twitter.com/journo_dale Dale Smith-Journo

Seriously, guys. They haven’t summoned Anonymous. They’ve referred the matter to a committee. That’s all (so far). We don’t know what the committee is going to do or what witnesses they’ll actually call because they haven’t met to discuss it yet.
Guest

“I’d to thank the committee for the opportunity to speak today, You can get anything you want, at Alice’s Restaurant.” (and walk out)
elix

If I had any way of being on the hill that day, I’d walk in, identify myself only as Anonymous, and talk about cats until they threw me out.
David Wyatt

I would like to note that the name I post under is not my name, therefor I AM ANONYMOUS by definition, as are MANY of you. I am not The Anonymous, not that I wouldnt join them in a heartbeat to combat the true evils of the world. Still I would like to stand trial for crimes I couldnt have committed just to explain to those fucking morons how the world really works.

To be perfectly honest, if I was Anonymous, I wouldnt be ashamed in the least for standing trial for the things theyve done. They are AMERICAN HEROES, and will be counted as such in the future without a shadow of doubt. Even if some of them dont go about it the best way, they have their hearts in the right place unlike the powers that be who prefer money and control over < humans and rights.
- Guest
  
  I’d say you sound maybe more Spartacus than Anonymous.
BBNinja

It’s getting dumber in Canada by the day. At this rate, they’re going to take our championship title from the U.S. of A.
- TimRowledge
  
  Nah, Ol’frothy, Gov.Goodhair and the Gingrinch will up the game.
  - BBNinja
    
    Challenge accepted. :/
http://codebad.com/ Donny Viszneki

TFA does not specifically anywhere say Anonymous has been subpoenaed. The majority of the article is hyperbolic poetry, including the title.

The only concrete thing that the article says has happened is that Vic was invited by the House Speaker to “send the matter to Procedure and House Affairs for further consideration.”

Though a better knowledge of Canadian government might inform me that this subpoenaing Anonymous is a more imminent consequence of taking this issue to “Procedure and House Affairs,” it seems to me this may just comedic extrapolation.
cdincanada

Time for the Black Flags over parliament… are you ready to testify? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qt97R7rISus&feature=player_embedded#!
That_Anonymous_Coward

Cory – how does one read the article and arrive at this headline?
Its a cute little imaginary tale, but not that useful.

Mr . Toews and the people around him want to pretend it is the end of the world, but they referred it to committee because they think its a real threat. Of course the “threat” is that people not sanctioned by the Government will do exactly what Mr. Toews supports in the bill.

I think there needs to be more focus on the fact that they are reacting this way over actual facts about Mr. Toews being released. These are facts, not political spin, not made up rumors about him and a shetland pony. Lord forbid the public know the facts about this man.

I can see the committee eventually trying to subpoena Anonymous - but more so in a stunt to either get someone to show up to be arrested for threats, or to have no one show up so they can unleash their fury at Anonymous not respecting their authority and passing more pointless legislation.

Headline – still misleading.
- BBNinja
  
  The real question is are they going to let someone with red hair and a trenchcoat inside the Parliament.
http://www.disoriented.net/ angusm

Well, Anonymous does say to ‘expect them’. So perhaps it’s not unreasonable to think that they might show up.
- Guest
  
  or they already have?
http://shadowfirebird.tumblr.com shadowfirebird

“I’m Brian, and so is my wife!”