Branding is a conspiracy!

When it comes to feeling icky at the sight of grotesque corporate marketing, Cayce Pollard has nothing on the protagonist of Branded, a forthcoming movie that is apparently about how ads are really an alien conspiracy. I'm looking forward to the most ironic marketing campaign since Wall•E!


    1.  I donno, is an ex-wrestling protagonist here to kick ass and chew bubble gum, but is all out of gum?

      It’ll only work if there’s a blues soundtrack…

    2. Plus a little of that Simpsons where the mascots come to life. Don’t look up!

  1. Notice there are at least 3 QRCodes displayed during this trailer in momentary flashes.  I’d check and see where they lead, but it’s probably just another corporate conspiracy to get me to buy into this movie.

    1. They appear to be fake commercials from the movie. One was pretty funny. An ad for a pocket machine to test if your beef was contaminated with mad cow disease.

  2. Of course, there’s nothing ironic about the fact that the main actors, save ms. Dapkūnaitė, are brands in themselves….

    While I’m at it, who goes to Edinburg University to study French! Who? I’m looking at you, Stoppard.

  3. What a horrid literalization of memes, language, culture, capital, etc.: a dimly-lit congeries of CG scorpions and brain leeches that couldn’t make the final fight scene in The Avengers. That’s who made me eat all them hamburgers! 

    1. Yeah, there was something going on there, but it would only have been ironic if the purpose of the film was to criticize consumption-driven capitalism in any real way, which was not the case.

    2. “Buy-n-Large” was the mega-corp that ran the world in the future, that encouraged over-consumption, and led to the mess the world became (and the blobs humans became). Part of the viral marketing was a fake site for what would be present-day Buy-n-Large , which seems a lot like Wal-Mart. I’m pretty sure Wal-Mart carried Wall-E toys anyway.

  4. Looks like fun.  I kinda wish people would stop staying “How far would you go?” in trailers though.  Why is that the big Hollywood power question?


    1. More like, “How far would you go … to get the script in on time?”  Probably just rip off some old catch phrases from last year’s summer blockbuster.  That far.

  5. easier to believe in aliens (with a purpose), than brands as human created uncaring greed machines…

  6. Looks pretty good to me, but my expectations for mainstream film are ridiculously low these days. At least it looks dark and a bit nasty. There’s not nearly enough dark and nasty in film these days. Plenty of faux dark and this might end up there too but I’ll give it a shot. The trailer conveys a little bit of Cronenberg to me.

  7. Is there a name for that “Transformers Sound” that I keep hearing in trailers like this?  It was in BattleShip as well.  Sounds like a giant motor with a bad bearing slowing down.  Is it pre-programmed key on the sound effects board?  Perhaps it is right next to the Wilhelm Scream.

    1.  I like to think that this is the sound of a giant robot, rusting beneath the sea, awakening itself with apocalyptic flatulence.  And then massive bubbles erupt on the surface, overturning boats.

      Also I think this is called a bass drop.

  8. The corporations=space aliens analogy is also the premise of As the World Burns: 50 Simple Things You Can Do to Stay in Denial by Derick Jensen and Stephnie McMillan. I’d be more excited about this movie if I knew that it also had a talking fox character.

  9. The aliens plugging into the back of peoples heads kind of reminded me of John Shirley’s novel “Wet Bones” – which I haven’t read in ages….

  10. Here are the QR codes I found and where they lead to: – for iPhone only, Beef Tester commercial in Russian (Branded_Commercial4.mp4) – for iPhone only, Extreme Cosmetika commercial in Russian (Branded_ExtremeMakeover.mp4) – Yepple Ads
    Which leads to – for iPhone only Burger trailer (Branded_Commercial.mp4) , more QR codes – main site

    When I say iPhone only, it means the page does a Javascript query to see if you are coming from an iPhone, if yes, it plays a video, if no, it give you a black screen.

  11. Well I hang around circles where there are a lot of people who firmly believe the world is being secretly controlled by dark sinister forces feeding off human grief and negative emotions. So yeah, I’m hoping Branded can take the ball from where They Live left it ;)

  12. Looks like an interesting film! I don’t  think it’ll come as any surprise to anyone that QR codes are evil, though. fnord

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