Gloria Vanderbilt's fashion tips, 1968

Phil Are Go! spotted a beautiful Gloria Vanderbilt outfit from 1968. As Phil explains it:

It all begins with basic black leggings of black velvet. Everyone knows that less is more.. and less is WAY more when it's velvet. Add to that some thigh-high pirate boots for high-seas practicality and you've got the foundation that will have everyone hoisting their flags! Don't forget some pilgrim buckles or the indians won't share their maize with you.

The blouse is an eighteenth century burial gown with a kicky lace lampshade sewn on as a collar. As you can see, Gloria felt that it was pretty fancy already, but not quite fancy enough without some multicolored ribbons adorning the elegant multi-tiered doily sleeves. We're on a hovercraft to classytown!

Its time for a splash of color, so grab some three-inch satin ribbon and make yourself a bandolier, or sash or whatever. Then, choose a belt of classic simplicity from your belt vault. As you can see, Gloria has chosen her opalized ruby and gold filigree girdle. It gives her a +3 modifier when making saving throws against psionic attacks AND really pops against the red sasholier! The pendant was made from six smaller pendants. If you don't have six pendants, you can just use six of your bottle openers. Be careful when soldering. It's hot!

Top it all off with a shoulder-draped set of striped curtains and you're ready for any occasion. You can wrap the curtains around you if the evening turns chilly or simply give it a shake to punctuate particularly incisive observations.

Gloria Vanderbilt - Relaxed, simple fashion for any occasion.


    1. The pride of Palm Springs, eh?

      But it’s really strange, just last weekend and for the first time in decades, I made a joke referencing Gloria Vanderbilt, in particular her jeans with the swan sewn on the ass pocket.  Now here she is. Not a single mention in over twenty years, now twice in a one-week span. This happens to me a lot, actually.

  1. Umm, is the phrase ‘Elite BDSM Matador of the Order of the British Empire’ supposed to come to mind, or is that user error on my part?

    1.  It should come to mind ‘Elite BDSM Tuno of the Order of the British Empire’, not ‘Elite BDSM Matador of the Order of the British Empire’.
      Matadores are colourful and flashy, only tunos wear black and lots of zany ribbons.

  2. Why did they put it on such a fat model? She’s gargantuan. I can barely see even her cheekbones.

    Edit: I would totally wear this.

  3. “Everyone knows that less is more… Add to that some thigh-high pirate boots.”

    My comment wrote itself.

  4. One of the most enjoyable writeups about an outfit I have ever read! Aaand I like it. And the painting in back.

  5. This is why I think fashion as a whole is utter bullshit. The industry convinces many people (I’ll say it, mainly women) that X is THE thing this year/season, then somehow, magically it’s totally uncool next season. What happens during those 6-12 months later that something which is THE must-have one minute becomes not fashionable, even embarrassing the next? Marketing, pure marketing.

    I say wear what you want, what you like, when you like — and tell the fashionistas to eat shit and die :) You don’t need to spend a fortune on clothes made in S America or Asia with a 500-1000% mark-up or listen to so-called ‘experts’ to look good and have fun.

    1. “I say wear what you want, what you like, when you like”

      And for most people that involves an aesthetic that could generally be described as ‘fashionable’ – there’s no single ‘fashion’, there are many variaties, you have likely chosen one.  This is not unique to fashion, nor anything to be ashamed of, and applies to every facet of art and design – whether it be music, washing machines or the facade of your home.

      I don’t think it’s just marketing either – it’s more likely a process of imitating our peers. Being different is great, something to be applauded, but there’s no shame in going with the flow of your natural human instinct to belong – especially when more often than not ‘being different’ just means imitating a niche, rather than a mainstream.  Marketing didn’t create that.

      If you’re referring specifically to high fashion/catwalk stuff then you’re probably missing the point of it, as quite often it’s an extreme embodiment of a new set of styles – like a moodboard, a demonstration, not an intended outfit. Admittedly as far as I know this is relatively unique to fashion – although I would like to see Tim Cook unveil a mad explosion of bevels and clean aluminium surfaces at the next WWDC.

      There’s also nothing specifically feminine about fashion as far as I’m aware – unless where you live all the men wear brown sacks.

      1. There’s also nothing specifically feminine about fashion as far as I’m aware – unless where you live all the men wear brown sacks.

        In a civilized place like Scotland, men still get dressed up in velvet doublets with lace collar and cuffs. Everyone wears fashion. It’s just that the dominant fashion trend for some time now has been a choice between Office Drone and Farm Worker.

  6. She’s posing with her artwork (that picture next to her that she made) and I think the outfit is something she concocted to go with it for a photo shoot. She wasn’t doing fashion design then or  trying to sell the outfit. It’s more like now with Lady Gaga – wearing something to get attention.

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