Caviar vending machines in LA malls

Caviar vending machines have been installed in three upscale malls in LA. In addition to $500/oz caviar, they also dispense blinis, mother of pearl spoons, and other caviar essentials. The vending machines (they're billed as "ATMs for caviar") can be found at Westfield Century City, Westfield Topanga, and the Burbank Towne Center. Apparently, these are old news in Russia, where they are favorites of oligarchs and their entourages.

Finally! Caviar by ATM (via Super Punch)


  1. What good is buying $500/oz caviar if you can’t rub it in the face of someone who struggles to afford that much in rent per month?

    Alternatively: Of _course_ they need these machines, so they don’t have to interact with such people. 

    1. Nah, this is for poor people. You know… the ones that don’t already have mother of pearl spoons or staff who will go buy the caviar for you, make you the blinis, and serve them for you on a nice golden platter.

      I guess it could do in a pinch if you are out on a road trip and notice that the cook, again, forgot to pack some extra tubs of caviar and you just ate the last one. But then you would send your driver to buy it for you, wouldn’t you?

  2. for folks that don’t know how to shop at grocery stores?
    The maid called in sick?
    When the food court just won’t do?

  3. Do they have their own dedicated surveillance cameras? Are they perhaps in areas with restricted public access? Because one would imagine this sort of thing would just scream “Vandalize me!” to any number of parties.

    1.  They not only scream “Vandalize me” but also “Hack me” to serve minced turds in place of caviar

  4. F- caviar, but they might be on to something with the blinis.  A vending machine with a viewing port that made hot fresh blinis/crepes/pancakes would be awesome, they’d sell like hotcakes!

      1. Yeah, maybe they’d sell more like flapjacks or johnnybread.  You’d have to price them right- perhaps three silver dollars for two regular ones.

  5. I’m pretty sure the final evolution of the vending machine is one that is loaded with caviar in one side and Japanese schoolgirl panties in the other.

  6. Strange.  Caviar is eaten as a garnish or spread.  Eating it by the spoonful is nouveau riche, and like eating (very expensive) mayonnaise straight from the jar.  To me at least. 
    Way too salty too.

  7. You can’t blame them, who wants an unwashed poor person to hand their caviar to them. It’s disgusting, enough to make one lose their appetite. This way you don’t have to see the sadness in the eyes of the wait staff.

    1.  Yeah, I’m eagerly awaiting the story about one of these getting knocked over (as in getting broken into or hauled away entirely and stripped of their product and any cash, though I would be surprised if these weren’t card-only).

  8. Relatively speaking (and I know this isn’t the point of the article), those malls aren’t really “upscale”. The Burbank Town Center is only a step or two above a dead mall with multiple knock-off “Earring Tree”-style stores and a bunch of seasonal (Halloween costumes shops, Christmas decorations) but otherwise abandoned storefronts.

    The downmarket nature of these malls actually makes the presence of caviar vending machines that much more surreal. It’s like an art piece whose purpose is to make Los Angeles even more loathsome than it really is and that would be an incredible feat.   

    1. I agree that the Burbank mall isn’t upscale, but the Westfield Topanga (in Woodland Hills/Canoga Park) is pretty darn upscale in parts. The fancy stores like Cartier and Louis Vuitton (sp? don’t care enough to look up) are grouped together, away from stuff like Hot Dog On A Stick or the We Buy Gold kiosk.

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