Caviar vending machines in LA malls

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37 Responses to “Caviar vending machines in LA malls”

  1. fredh says:

    Why does this seem like something from a JG Ballard story?

  2. Cynical says:

    Just remember: they hate us for our freedom. Nothing else going on here, no sirree. 

  3. Hamish Grant says:

    these are just gussied up versions of the “live bait” vending machines outside of gas stations in areas frequented by hunters & anglers..

  4. Scott Frazer says:

    What good is buying $500/oz caviar if you can’t rub it in the face of someone who struggles to afford that much in rent per month?

    Alternatively: Of _course_ they need these machines, so they don’t have to interact with such people. 

    • SedanChair says:

      But poor people may have serviced these machines! Thomas, fetch my driving gloves out of the Maybach

    • CH says:

      Nah, this is for poor people. You know… the ones that don’t already have mother of pearl spoons or staff who will go buy the caviar for you, make you the blinis, and serve them for you on a nice golden platter.

      I guess it could do in a pinch if you are out on a road trip and notice that the cook, again, forgot to pack some extra tubs of caviar and you just ate the last one. But then you would send your driver to buy it for you, wouldn’t you?

  5. vonbobo says:

    for folks that don’t know how to shop at grocery stores?
    The maid called in sick?
    When the food court just won’t do?

  6. eldritch says:

    Do they have their own dedicated surveillance cameras? Are they perhaps in areas with restricted public access? Because one would imagine this sort of thing would just scream “Vandalize me!” to any number of parties.

  7. Cory Trevor says:

    F- caviar, but they might be on to something with the blinis.  A vending machine with a viewing port that made hot fresh blinis/crepes/pancakes would be awesome, they’d sell like hotcakes!

  8. blueelm says:

    I totally don’t get it. Isn’t caviar more of a party food? But blinis. That’s genius.

  9. cfuse says:

    I’m pretty sure the final evolution of the vending machine is one that is loaded with caviar in one side and Japanese schoolgirl panties in the other.

  10. 10xor01 says:

    That settles it.  From now on, all my panhandling will be done near these malls.

  11. Ipo says:

    Strange.  Caviar is eaten as a garnish or spread.  Eating it by the spoonful is nouveau riche, and like eating (very expensive) mayonnaise straight from the jar.  To me at least. 
    Way too salty too.

  12. SeekerLancer says:

    You can’t blame them, who wants an unwashed poor person to hand their caviar to them. It’s disgusting, enough to make one lose their appetite. This way you don’t have to see the sadness in the eyes of the wait staff.

  13. Michael DeGuzis says:

    I bet these machines contain more cash than an ATM :)

    • edkedz says:

       Yeah, I’m eagerly awaiting the story about one of these getting knocked over (as in getting broken into or hauled away entirely and stripped of their product and any cash, though I would be surprised if these weren’t card-only).

  14. Gerald Mander says:

    I really really really don’t miss living in Los Angeles.

  15. rtresco says:

    Caviar is so hot right now!

  16. Phil Sundry says:

    Relatively speaking (and I know this isn’t the point of the article), those malls aren’t really “upscale”. The Burbank Town Center is only a step or two above a dead mall with multiple knock-off “Earring Tree”-style stores and a bunch of seasonal (Halloween costumes shops, Christmas decorations) but otherwise abandoned storefronts.

    The downmarket nature of these malls actually makes the presence of caviar vending machines that much more surreal. It’s like an art piece whose purpose is to make Los Angeles even more loathsome than it really is and that would be an incredible feat.   

    • cjporkchop says:

      I agree that the Burbank mall isn’t upscale, but the Westfield Topanga (in Woodland Hills/Canoga Park) is pretty darn upscale in parts. The fancy stores like Cartier and Louis Vuitton (sp? don’t care enough to look up) are grouped together, away from stuff like Hot Dog On A Stick or the We Buy Gold kiosk.

  17. Frank Diekman says:

    Caviar? In a vending machine? *drops monocle in astonishment*

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