A list of the 131 reasons David Banner turned into The Hulk

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29 Responses to “A list of the 131 reasons David Banner turned into The Hulk”

  1. Roose_Bolton says:

    What a smashing list.

  2. Christopher says:

    Numbers 43, 44, 73 and 90 make me want to go back and watch the entire series again as an adult. Those make it sound like the series was written by a really huge fan of the Three Stooges.

  3. planettom says:

    I guess these aren’t in consecutive order, because #51 referenced Thor, which was the TV movie 6 years after the show was cancelled.   

    Also, I can’t tell if the second TV movie (1989) with Daredevil is in this list.

    And the final TV movie, THE DEATH OF THE INCREDIBLE HULK (1990), has the Hulk falling out of an airplane, and then, he reverts back to Banner and dies (sort of like the ol’ standard dying werewolf scene in werewolf movies), if I remember correctly.   This doesn’t seem to be the falling out of an airplane referenced in that list of 131 items, because in that, he hits a house, and apparently lives, I think in the final TV movie, he landed on an airport tarmac.

  4. Joe Maynard says:

    In retrospect I remember him throwing his car into a ravine after getting frustrated changing a flat tire (#1 on the list, the very first hulkout). I wonder how much time he spent mentally kicking himself for that as he had to hitchhike across the country for the rest of the series…

    • Boundegar says:

      Why is it so hard to change a flat on TV?  It’s really not that hard in real life.

      • mccrum says:

        “Oh gawd, it’s unscrew the lugnuts and then jack up the car!  Why can’t I get this right?  Hulk smash!”

      • bkad says:

        My parents used to have a car where it was tricky to find the jack points (and if you got it wrong you would just fold/crush stuff, or have a really unstable lift). My new car is pretty obvious though. (Also I’m not the ignoramous I was at 16. I hope.)

    • oasisob1 says:

      Actually he hurt himself while changing the tire.

    • 10xor01 says:

      Yeah, but if he kept his car, they’d need to replace that solemn hitchhiking piano riff with Golden Earring’s Radar Love or some other road trip music.

  5. Janessa Pagliaccio says:

    David Banner? Do you mean Bruce Banner?

    • Roose_Bolton says:

      His name was changed to David Banner for the TV series.

    • Mark_Frauenfelder says:

      I don’t like it either. Wikipedia: “Johnson changed the name of the Hulk’s comic book alter ego, Dr. Bruce Banner, to Dr. David Banner for the TV series. This change was made, according to Johnson, because he did not want the series to be perceived as a comic book series, so he wanted to change what he felt was a staple of comic books, and Stan Lee’s comics in particular, that major characters frequently had alliterative names.”

      • oasisob1 says:

        It appeared to fool the nation for 4 years.

      • sam1148 says:

        Also at the time Johnny Carson would do gay jokes using the name ‘Bruce” as a stand in for ‘gay. I had heard the network didn’t want “Bruce” as the name because it was considered effeminate.

        • Antinous / Moderator says:

          Yes, Bruce was a standard comic meme for comedians who had no actual joke to tell and wanted to get a laugh with a simple homophobic reference. Sort of odd when you consider Bruces in pop culture. We already had an Olympic athlete, a martial arts star and a superhero at that point.

  6. dr says:

    I always thought of “Hulk” as the natural state, and “Banner” as the thing he gets turned into.  

    • Josh Bisker says:

      That’s what I’ve always seen as the central divide between Spider Man and Superman; Spidey’s really Peter Parker in disguise, but Supes is really Supes, disguising himself as Clark. As far as the Hulk goes, this question — the “is Mr Hyde the real personality after all”sort of thing — ends up being one of the deeper issues that the comics explored over their run. Some of the writers did a really good job of it.

  7. fredh says:

    There’s a lot more “Banner gets thrown into some form of garbage receptacle” in that list than i expected. Disgruntled writers maybe?

  8. Philboyd Studge says:

    Dear Marvel,
    Please let Sam Raimi direct the next Hulk film, starring Bruce Campbell. It writes itself!

  9. Riche Bright says:

    Banner’s life sure did suck.

  10. petz79 says:

    He changed into the Hulk with a broken hand. As I understand it, the Hulk is unvulnerable. So was his broken hand automagically fixed after the change? Or was it re-broken again when he changed back? I don’t really get these Hulk physics.

  11. Itsumishi says:

    I’m more interested in the reasons Eric Banner decided to turn into the Hulk. That can’t have been a good career move.

  12. James Mason says:

    Bad luck Bruce is more like it.

  13. Petzl says:

    To be charitable though, who doesn’t go into a Hulk rage when receiving poison sushi at your favorite restaurant?

  14. Here’s a reduction poem of that list:

    Provocations (a reduction)

    —for Adam DeGraff

    1. Problems

    3. Thinking about either of his lives

    4. Cut off from anger

    5. Being destroyed

    8. Being a bear

    9. Being a dog

    10. Being placed on a tractor

    11. Being a flight of stairs

    12. Being punched by a falcon

    13. Having his period

    14. Being juried by a sand piper

    15. Having a computers

    17. “Oh. Sorry, David.”

    18. Jennifer Aniston being insulted

    19. Bigfoot impersonator

    21. Getting a trash

    22. Having head

    23. Being trampled by “The Sniper”

    24. Words like “soup”

    25. The pipe

    26. Trying to get drunk

    27. Trying to

    28. Being a dumpster, two garbagemen, a thief, and rats add injury to salt

    29. Having two wet football players turn to steam

    30. Being trapped inside a football

    31. Monkey in the business. Then being thrown up.

    32. Printwheels, inexplicably

    34. A woman who is the cliff

    35. Boulder

    36. Somehow becoming a bear

    38. Placed in a small room with a raven

    40. Falling into the church water of a bathhouse, and one stranger.

    41. Being the middle of a forest.

    45. Well?

    46. New York

    47. You don’t understand

    48. A magic drunk tank

    51. Having Thor the Thunder God around

    52. Ernest Hemingway beats off

    53. Being bear-assed

    57. A guy yells “You’re a Goon!”

    60. Being stuck in the lobotomy subject

    61. Being “swiss” pregnant.

    62. “Hey! Don’t touch that woman!”

    71. Wandering into tons of garbage

    73. Natives to be punished under the rites of La Culta de Cabeza Chocolata

    74. The nasty rattlesnake

    75. Beaten up by “the other”

    76. Falling in a pitfall.

    77. Being housewifed by some man.

    78. Being thrown under New Orleans by a gorilla

    81. Air Supply

    82. An outbound freighter

    88. Hit in the face by McGee

    90. Inchoherent head

    90. Being a conveniently open manhole

    93. Being caught in a pile of large, heavy hippies

    94. Foolishly trying

    95. Falling out of himself

    96. Deliberately going to a disco club with a “dark side”

    97. Trapped with a heart, and showered with sparks.

    99. Leaving the laser beam

    - Noel Black

  15. niktemadur says:

    What about today, surely Mr Banner would go Hulk in the following situations.
    1. Arguing with trolls in internet forums.
    2. Dealing with ISP tech support.
    3. No upvotes on Reddit, no “likes” on Facebook.
    4. Teens on cell phones in movie theaters.
    5. Slow car in front, clogging up the traffic, the driver is texting.
    6. Falling for a Goatse, 2Girls1Cup, etc.
    7. Just one more “news” item about the Kardashians.
    8. Eleven-inch foot-long Subways.

    Since Bruce doesn’t seem to have a permanent address, picture a guy sitting quietly at Starbucks, then suddenly his shirt starts ripping apart at the seams.

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