David Pescovitz at 11:00 am Wed, Feb 13, 2013
Poland Spring should hire Senator Marco Rubio as their spokesperson. Here's the TV commercial.
David Pescovitz is Boing Boing's co-editor/managing partner. He's also a research director at Institute for the Future. On Instagram, he's @pesco.
TAGS: Funny parched
Playing Jenga with heavy earth-moving equipment
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Brilliant, and disturbing. I’m going to drink some water right now, then share this.
So Marco Rubio has a drinking problem. Leave him ALONE!
Is it necessary to be a theist to be a republican? (I am asking as a foreigner)
Yes it is. The Republicans are a strange breed of theocracy with Neo-liberal corporate fascism that they call “Conservative” without being conservative.
This is the best summary I have seen.
And on a sidenote, hilfrigginlarious video.
hells bells “Sigmund Jung”! (if that is your name) it’s necessary for a republican not only to be a “theist” but a particular mythical sub-type of theist which is a weighted average of baptist, new-age baptist, and southern baptist. attend well this all revealing dialog from Pastor Emo Philips:
Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, “Don’t do it!”
He said, “Nobody loves me.”I said, “God loves you. Do you believe in God?”He said, “Yes.”I said, “Are you a Christian or a Jew?”He said, “A Christian.”I said, “Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?”He said, “Protestant.”I said, “Me, too! What franchise?”He said, “Baptist.”I said, “Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?”He said, “Northern Baptist.”I said, “Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?”He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist.”I said, “Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?” He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region.”I said, “Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?”He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912.”I said, “Die, heretic!” And I pushed him over.
It’s sort of like the Catholic Church.
It’s pretty much necessary to be a theist to get elected at all in the US.
It’s often necessary for a Republican to at least PRETEND to be a theist. They rely on support from conservative religious types even though some Republican leaders are known to think of them as the “lunatic fringe.” Interestingly, Republicans will promote the philosophy of Ayn Rand, a militant atheist whose teachings are incompatible with Christianity, and try to sell it as “God’s plan.” They’ve partly succeeded but it’s only a matter of time before it collapses on itself.
This of course goes back to the Cold War, when we realized that we believed in freedom of religion, freedom for everybody, and didn’t believe in other people having undue power over others. Someone realized this didn’t seem terribly different than Communist philosophy at its ideal core, realized we were trying to stop its spread, and that we’d have to bow to our business-owning overlords while singing Hallelujah to prove we weren’t Commies.
It makes sense if you remember all that stuff we did in the Cold War that didn’t make sense.
Hey look, if you smoked enough dope for the modern GOP platform to seem reasonable, you’d have some pretty monstrous cottonmouth, too.
What makes you think he’s not a Poland Spring spokesperson?
Hmmm, someone needs to remix this dry mouth video and the Palin breathing video together. :P
It’s funny but disturbing in my head…. :P
I remember some guys doing this in the early days of mp3 and calling it the language removal project. this is what I found googling it now: http://www.languageremoval.com/
Many of the files sound like sexual mishaps.
Jeez, I listened to the Marilyn Monroe clip, and need to go take a cold shower.
I’m guessing he’s really nervous. Either way, I never though dry smacking sounds could sound so gross. I couldn’t get past the first few.
I am so sorry world…..
Wow, I’m speechless. How surreal. I better draw a breath and sip some water.
I used to think that he was kind of cute, but that really killed my boehner.
Sad trombone for your sad trombone.
If what goes in is Nestle’s toxic-dump-sourced waste, then what comes out must be..verborrhea.
That’s a very conservative bottle size.
amphetamines people. Could be prescription…but probably not.
Yes, this is what should be discussed about the State of the Union and the responses to it…
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