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Horror/sf play by a four-year-old

By Cory Doctorow at 12:23 pm Sat, Mar 2, 2013

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Rachel Bublitz's four year old Audrey wrote her first play:

Characters: Scare People, F, very tall, wears a mask, growls, 18 years old. She goes to scare people school. She is an octopus monster with wings.

Audrey, F, 11 years old. Wears monkey pajamas.

Synopsis: Audrey tries to get Scare People out of her house.

AUDREY SCARE PEOPLE PLAY (Thanks, Ashley!)

Discuss

23 Responses to “Horror/sf play by a four-year-old”

  1. euansmith says:
    March 2, 2013 at 1:32 pm

    If only they’d had writers of this calibre working on Promethius :(

    Reply
    • peregrinus says:
      March 2, 2013 at 5:37 pm

      as in .44 “Did he fire six shots or only five?”
      vs
      “[narrating, after BB gun shot bounces off target and hits his face] Oh my god, I shot my eye out!”

      Reply
  2. Frank Diekman says:
    March 2, 2013 at 1:50 pm

    “She is an octopus monster with wings” – Has the kid been reading Lovecraft?

    Reply
    • euansmith says:
      March 2, 2013 at 2:53 pm

       I like Edgar Rice Burroughs descriptions, “It was a panther, with six legs, tentacles and a purple spotted pelt… did I mention the tentacles? But it was definitely a panther, no mistaking it… yep, Carson Napier, that’s definitely a panther, that is.”

      Reply
      • Abel Undercity says:
        March 3, 2013 at 12:11 pm

        Oh, a displacer beast from Dungeons and Dragons, sound like.

        Reply
        • euansmith says:
          March 3, 2013 at 1:55 pm

           I think that Gary Gygax might have read Carson Napier of Venus :)

          Reply
        • NelC says:
          March 4, 2013 at 6:52 am

          Wasn’t that based on the beastie from Van Vogt’s Voyage of the Space Beagle, or am I thinking of something else?

          Reply
    • Edwin says:
      March 2, 2013 at 4:57 pm

      My Little Cthulhu.   

      Reply
  3. Mark Dow says:
    March 2, 2013 at 2:36 pm

    “…tries to get Scare People out of her house.”
    Been there.

    Reply
  4. oasisob1 says:
    March 2, 2013 at 2:41 pm

    4 years old. Writing. This play. Her power exceeds that of most of us here on BB. Just look at that, willya?

    Reply
  5. euansmith says:
    March 2, 2013 at 2:55 pm

    Monkey pajamas. 

    Reply
    • Edwin Austin says:
      March 2, 2013 at 5:04 pm

      Monkey PJ’s!  Brrr that gives me the heebie jeebies. 

      Reply
  6. Eric Legg says:
    March 2, 2013 at 3:12 pm

    Its a nice start, but there’s gonna need a lot reworking for this to get picked up for a movie adaptation. For one thing there’s too much character development and not enough explosions. Also I’m not sure how major studios are gonna feel about octopi tentacles, people might unintentionally confuse it with something wrong and Japanese. Might I suggest spider legs instead, they have the same number and people dont typically confuse them with cephalapod-o-philia. Because fucking spiders.

    Reply
  7. Boundegar says:
    March 2, 2013 at 4:07 pm

    I was rooting for Scare People.

    Reply
  8. eselqueso says:
    March 2, 2013 at 7:34 pm

    GET OUT OF MY HOUSE OR I’LL STAB YOU IN THE FACE!

    Reply
    • Antinous / Moderator says:
      March 2, 2013 at 10:26 pm

      Is that Amazon’s new algorithmically-generated tee shirt?

      Reply
  9. Professor59 says:
    March 2, 2013 at 7:35 pm

    I was totally hooked.  Can’t wait for the movie.  I hope Tim Burton directs!

    Reply
  10. gratefulvideo says:
    March 2, 2013 at 7:44 pm

    Love the ending

    “Then I won’t go into the refrigerator. I’m going to sleep.”
    AUDREY exits to go to sleep. End of play

    No resolution and leaves open a chance for a sequel.

    Reply
    • FakeNina says:
      March 3, 2013 at 1:58 am

      **SPOILER ALERT**

      Reply
    • NelC says:
      March 4, 2013 at 6:55 am

       Ooh, twist ending! I totally didn’t expect that!

      Reply
  11. lishevita says:
    March 2, 2013 at 9:15 pm

    Parenting: someone’s doin’ it right! :) 
    Love it!!!”AUDREY stabs SCARE PEOPLE with the pen again. SCARE PEOPLE puts on another band aid.”

    Reply
  12. David Kopelman says:
    March 3, 2013 at 6:19 am

    Perhaps margarine would have worked. Or Nutella.

    Reply
  13. MarlboroTestMonkey7 says:
    March 3, 2013 at 11:06 am

    Unsurprisely similar to existing professional Hollywood scripts. I suspect child labor.

    Reply

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