The Black Metal band "Code." Photo: Shutterstock.
Doug Moore's "Death Metal English" post at Invisible Oranges is the funniest thing I've read on the internet in a long time. He performs a linguistic analysis of the lyrics in Death Metal music, notes its use of adjectives and baroquely florid multisyllabic arcaneness, and offers some helpful translations of common English phrases.
Normal English: “This bok choy isn’t very good”
Death Metal English: “CASTIGATING THE VERDANT ISSUANCE OF THE SOILS OF JIANGNAN”
Normal English: “I need to take a nap”
Death Metal English: “RIPPED INTO THE UTTER EXHAUSTION OF THE MIDDLE DAY”
Normal English: “Thanks for explaining the train schedule”
Death Metal English: “PROFFERING GRATITUDE UPON THE CHRONOCRATION OF THE JUGGERNAUTS OF RETICULATED METALS AND FIRE”
Normal English: “You have to mow the lawn”
Death Metal English: “BRING DOWN THE SCYTHE OF GODS UPON THE NECKS OF THE GREEN-RIBBED LEGIONS AND SWEEP AWAY THEIR WRETCHED BODIES; THOU ART IMPLORED BY ME”
Read the whole thing. It's been making the rounds for a few weeks, but I'm so glad I caught it.
Video above: Nile – “Chapter Of Obeisance Before Giving Breath To The Inert One In The Presence Of The Cresent-Shaped Horns”
It’s got a catchy beat, I could dance to it! (And Peggy!)
At this week’s London Design Festival, design firm Uniform displayed Solo Radio. Stand in front of the device and it scans your face for input into software that assesses your emotions. Then it plays a song via Spotify algorithms with the appropriate mood.
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