The Black Metal band "Code." Photo: Shutterstock.
Doug Moore's "Death Metal English" post at Invisible Oranges is the funniest thing I've read on the internet in a long time. He performs a linguistic analysis of the lyrics in Death Metal music, notes its use of adjectives and baroquely florid multisyllabic arcaneness, and offers some helpful translations of common English phrases.
Normal English: “This bok choy isn’t very good”
Death Metal English: “CASTIGATING THE VERDANT ISSUANCE OF THE SOILS OF JIANGNAN”
Normal English: “I need to take a nap”
Death Metal English: “RIPPED INTO THE UTTER EXHAUSTION OF THE MIDDLE DAY”
Normal English: “Thanks for explaining the train schedule”
Death Metal English: “PROFFERING GRATITUDE UPON THE CHRONOCRATION OF THE JUGGERNAUTS OF RETICULATED METALS AND FIRE”
Normal English: “You have to mow the lawn”
Death Metal English: “BRING DOWN THE SCYTHE OF GODS UPON THE NECKS OF THE GREEN-RIBBED LEGIONS AND SWEEP AWAY THEIR WRETCHED BODIES; THOU ART IMPLORED BY ME”
Read the whole thing. It's been making the rounds for a few weeks, but I'm so glad I caught it.
Video above: Nile – “Chapter Of Obeisance Before Giving Breath To The Inert One In The Presence Of The Cresent-Shaped Horns”
The RNC in Cleveland isn’t the only unhinged, drunken, drug-fueled marathon party going on this week. Starting today, thousands of Juggalos and Juggalettes gather in Thornville, Ohio, to participate in the 17th Annual Gathering of the Juggalos, which runs through Saturday. Each year at the Gathering, fans of Insane Clown Posse gather to celebrate the […]
Like a bird likeabird a bird a birdabirdabirdabirdabirdabirdabird. A remix could fix the evident problems. The poor woman (“widely known for her rich-kid instagram”) is being dragged out to support dad at the convention this evening; this track sadly gained no headway in 2014. I see you like that spot above Crawling through the liquid […]
The Republican National Convention will have an unwelcome soundtrack this week from activist supergroup Prophets of Rage.
Home audio has taken some big leaps forward in recent years–not just in terms of sound quality, but also in the style department. The FRESHeBAR Leather Soundbar, now 56% off in the Boing Boing Store, is proof.The FRESHeBAR comes packing almost all the options you’d ever need for a home sound system, including Bluetooth streaming capabilities.The unit’s 90 […]
Much of what goes into creating an amazing photo happens in the digital darkroom. Here’s your chance to master all things photo editing: the Ultimate Adobe Photo Editing Bundle, now available in the Boing Boing Store for just $29.99.Across 8 courses and over 41 hours of intensive instruction, you’ll learn the fundamentals of Adobe’s suite of photo […]
3D printers are hot, but they’re also pricey. While the prospect of cranking out everything we can dream up is enticing, cost is often one factor that keeps us from jumping onto the 3D printing train.Now, thanks to M3D, that doesn’t have to be the case. You can now get its flagship 3D printer–plus four reels of filaments–for just […]