Dick Dynasty deluxe Wild Dick Caller, as seen on TV

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  1. True_Tory

    Wow, how crass and immature. Not like my Duck Dynasty homoerotic fan fiction, which is tasteful and thought-provoking.

    Uncle Si leaned over the work table, tea-cup balanced in his delicate hands. "My god, Godwin, that's the biggest dang duck call I've ever seen. You gonna sell a million of those at the Wal-Mart™."

    Godwin grinned, knowingly. "You should see it in action," he said, suggestively. Pursing his lips he grasped the tea-cup from Si's long, bony fingers. Running his tongue around the edge of the blue plastic cup he took a swig, keeping his eyes squarely on the older man watching him intently. "Mmmm... It's sweet. Just like you, Si." Si smiled and reached in his pocket. "I have a coupon for a free dinner for two at Cracker Barrel™, would you care to join me?" Godwin grinned. "We can eat at the Cracker Barrel™ any time. Right now I just want to eat ... You." Si reached for his belt. "Ok then."

    ...

    Under Armour™ duds flung over a forklift; RealTree™ camo-clothes strewn among a spilled box of Massive Mallard Duck Calls™; Si and Godwin made passionate hard love like a pair of angry beavers in heat. Collapsing in a heap of sweat, grease and Jack-Link's™, they cuddled like a pair of tuckered out teddy bears. Si nuzzled Godwin's beard, whispering, "This was a good idear. But I hope my brother Phil doesn't find out. He thinks this sinful!" Godwin sneered "That old coot couldn't shoot his own ass with a Savage Arms™ shotgun. I wouldn't worry 'bout him." They closed their eyes, kissed, and fell asleep.

    Unknown to them both, a pair of beady glowering eyes peered at them through a crack among the piles of the Duck Diggler Woodman MegaCall™ boxes. Phil was confused; upset... and most of all turned on.

    More coming in part 2.

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