Silent treatment, love-bombing, gaslighting and other traits of Narcissist Personality Disorder

Maureen Herman & Katie Schwartz wrote a piece about Narcissist Personality Disorder and how to defend yourself against a world leader who might have it.

We want to urge the press and public to understand what Narcissist Personality Disorder is. It manifests as impairments in the way someone functions and interacts with others, combined with the specific pathological personality trait of antagonism, characterized by grandiosity and attention seeking. We feel the finer points are something the public should promptly familiarize itself with.

The negative effect of NPD happens in stages, and we have watched Trump’s relationship with his supporters, and it is very familiar to us. In a classic NPD relationship. first comes the love-bombing: the narcissist tells you what you want to hear. Then they manage down expectations: doing whatever they want, and expecting or demanding that you accept it without incident. Now, the pathological lying comes full force: you call them out on what they said or did and they vehemently deny it, making you question your sanity. Then comes the devalue stage: because you questioned or criticized them, they discredit you. Now, the discard: the punishment and alienation begins, and any attempts to please them are used to give them more control over you. It doesn’t end there. The cycle continues and the disorder becomes your new normal. It’s not.

There are known narcissistic terms, strategies, and agendas. We urge the media to learn the terminology, and use it: , silent treatment, love-bombing, gaslighting, devalue & discard phase, narcissistic abuse, managing down expectations, and flying monkeys (Kellyanne Conway).

Notable Replies

  1. Silent treatment, love-bombing, gaslighting and other traits of Narcissist Personality Disorder

    Oh, childhood & my guardians parenting skills come flooding back to me. Time for a whiskey, or five.

  2. All true in the case of the NPD person I was stuck with as a family member for a long time (and still have to deal with now and then). Once you see and understand how one of these toxic individuals operates it becomes easy to spot others from a mile off.

    One other thing to note is that once the NPD person sees that you have his number he'll progress to the abuse and "devalue and discard" phases with you very quickly. This has disturbing implications in the case of the next chief executive of the U.S. and the 50%+ of Americans who see him for what he is.

    I can agree from personal experience that getting as far away as possible and cutting off all personal contact from someone with NPD is the only solution that really works. Sometimes family and work and other entanglements don't make that easy, though -- especially when you're talking about the leader of the free world.

  3. knappa says:

    The silent treatment sounds pretty nice compared to where we are now. Can we have that?

    • It's basically impossible to get an in-person professional diagnosis of NPD, because the person with the disorder doesn't believe anything is wrong with them;

    • The article discusses the Goldwater Rule, and why it's dangerous to follow it here;

    • Access to video and computer algorithms means off-site medical diagnosis is becoming more common, even for physical ailments;

    • As they point out in the article, a number of qualified psychiatrists and psychologists have publicly explained how they've used available information to diagnose him with this disorder.

  4. You have a point, but we're not using a diagnosis to determine treatment and medication. We're using it to decide how to deal with him as our president. We have to have some understanding, and if that includes identifying his narcissism then that's what we should do.

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