Chris Christie hopes to win the Republican nomination by being the biggest plain-speaking asshole of the pack. It's not working, though, because the absentee New Jersey governor can't rise above Mini Me status next to Donald Trump. In a desperate attempt to crawl out of his abysmal approval rating hole, the Bridgegate-tainted blowhard said as President he will hire FedEx to develop a system to track immigrants:
I’m going to have Fred Smith, the founder of FedEx, come work for the government for three months. Just come for three months to Immigration and Customs Enforcement and show these people... You go online and at any moment, FedEx can tell you where that package is. Yet we let people come into this country with visas, and the minute they come in, we lose track of them.
The only detail left out of Christie's kooky proposal is where the tracking number tattoo will go. Right hand? Forehead?
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Chris Christie's got a new memoir, "Let Me Finish," and Matt Taibbi (previously), Rolling Stone's most incandescent and relentless writer, has done us all the mercy of reading Christie so we don't have to.
Sick burn, EWR. The crooked as heck governor of New Jersey has barely been out of office for three whole days, and he gets escorted out by a cop when attempting to waddle his way into Newark International Airport’s VIP entrance.
As of Monday, there is a new kind of “DUI” in New Jersey: Droning Under the Influence. On his final day of being New Jersey’s (incredibly unpopular) governor, Chris Christie signed a law making it illegal to fly an unmanned drone aircraft drunk or under the influence of drugs. Reuters reports: The law prohibits flying […]
Dealing with all the COVID-19 fallout is one of the new realities of our ever-changing world — and that isn’t likely going away anytime soon. It’s also prompted a rash of existential questions for parents. Questions like how do I protect my kids? Or how do I soothe their fears? And there’s also one of […]
If you’re already incredibly bored in your social distancing situation, now is a great time to pick up a hobby. Actually, now’s a great time to pick up multiple hobbies, and nothing will make that easier (or nicer to look at) than this very cool AquaSprouts® Fountain: Aquaponics Water Garden. What the heck is an […]
Many Americans are facing unexpected changes in their professional lives that have left them with quite a bit of downtime. It’s stressful and frustrating, but the best thing to do is focus on controlling what you can control. If you have extra hours on your hands, you can be productive with them. Use them to […]