Millionaire presidential candidate Donald Trump apologized last night for hot-mic boasting about groping women. He did drone on, though! So I edited all the bullshit out, leaving only the sincere and truthful parts. You're welcome.
WATCH: Trump's apology with all the bullshit removed
Satirical Wayne Gretzky-brand wine labels bring joy
A Toronto LCBO (Liquor Control Board of Ontario) has denied that it recently displayed Wayne Gretzky Estate-brand wine bottles with altered labels. Photos of the supposed labels—which disparage the Canadian… READ THE REST
British tourist discovers exciting new way to get jailed in hellworld America: walking a dog
A British backpacker spent 10 days in a U.S. immigration detention facility wearing an orange prison jumpsuit — all because she planned to walk a family's dog in exchange for… READ THE REST
Goat statue with gold penis and fake Trump money sells for $300K
A goat statue with a golden schlong (as well as golden hooves and horns), wearing a red MAGA hat, and covered with fake hundred-dollar bills emblazoned with Trump's face and… READ THE REST
Get two 4K drones for less than the price of one with this $99.97 bundle
TL;DR: Capture stunning aerial photography with this bundle of drones, the Ninja Dragon Phantom Eagle PRO 4K and the Ninja Dragon Blade K Drone, for just $99.97 (reg. $299) through March 30. Whether… READ THE REST
This $15 PC app helps you manage projects like a Fortune 500 CEO
TL;DR: Microsoft Project Professional for Windows is just $14.97 — level up your work life Asana and Trello are great… until you're juggling five timelines, three budgets, and a growing team. If your… READ THE REST
Get the world's smallest 100W charger for 53% off
TL;DR: This tiny but mighty 100W Omega USB-C GaN Charger can save you in a pinch, and now it's just $54.97 (reg. $119) through March 30. It's important to be prepared — for natural… READ THE REST
