New MacBook Pro Touchbar justified

There has been much anguish over Apple's new MacBook Pros. In lieu of specifications more impressive than a 2 year-old HP Elite, Apple offered up the Touchbar, a touchscreen mini LED display where the function keys are supposed to be.

Though classic Apple—pursue clever innovations at the cost of appealing to the pepperbeards who still think they're Apple's customer base—the backlash was more pronounced than usual. But the Touchbar is just an easy scapegoat for the new model's 16GB RAM limit, an unsexy but more serious problem.

And guess what: that Touchbar is completely justified. If you object to it, your argument is now invalid. Criticism of the Touchbar is no longer permissible in civilized milieux.

Touchbar Nyancat

Stupid nyancat animation on your +$2k MacBook Pro's Touchbar. Enjoy

First person to get an ad to show up in the Touchbar, without the user's express consent, wins a cyanide-laced Apple.