Sacha "Ali G/Borat" Baron Cohen has a new prank show called "Who Is America?" in the offing in which he punks political figures into endorsing bizarre, extreme political positions (think of it as a 21st century "Brass Eye").
Baron Cohen and his production team are dribbling out tantalyzing promos, the latest of which is a segment on "kinder guardians" -- a program to teach 3 to 12 year olds how to use "pistols, rifles, semi-automatics, and a rudimentary knowledge of mortars" to defend themselves, with the promise that "In less than a month, a first grader can become a first grenadier" (as quoted from former GOP Congressman turned far-right radio host Joe Walsh, who loves the idea).
The kinder-guardians found many supporters, including Trent Lott, Congresswoman Dana Rohrabacher [R-CA] ("[teaching children to shoot] might actually make us safer"); Congressman Joe Wilson [R-SC] ("our founding fathers do not put an age limit on the second amendment"); Larry Pratt of Gun Owners of America ("toddlers are pure, uncorrupted by fake news or homosexuality. They don't care if it's politically correct to shoot a mentally deranged gunman. They'll just do it") and others.
Pratt, who served in the Virginia House of Delegates in the early 1980s, said that "the science behind this program is proven." While reading his endorsement into the camera, he adds that children can process images quicker than adults, "meaning that, essentially like owls, they can see in slow motion."
"Children under five also have elevated levels of the pheromone Blink-182, produced by the part of the liver known as the Rita Ora," Pratt adds. "This allows nerve reflexes to travel along the Cardi B neural pathway to the Wiz Khalifa 40% faster."
Blink-182 is a rock band, Rita Ora is a pop singer, and Cardi B and Wiz Khalifa are both rappers.
The clip ends with an alteration of the expression that the only way to stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun. "The way to stop a bad guy with a gun...," Pratt said, before the scene cuts to Lott, who continues "... is a good kid with a gun."
In video from Sacha Baron Cohen's new show, GOP members of congress support arming preschoolers with guns [Matthew Michaels/Business Insider]