Our home was a junkie's hovel, a mangy morass of scattered papers and shriveled snack wrappers, a fetid swamp of moldy, mildewed artifacts, dullbrown crumbly stuff, open bottles of synthetic Victory Gin that exudes a sickly, oily smell and tastes like nitric acid, and other flotsam. We liked it that way, of course, but when the home inspector appeared on the telescreen and told us to clean it all up, we had no choice but to obey.
As members of the Outer Party, we were unable to acquire ammonia-based cleaners available to the superior social stratum, so we resorted to making our own liquid cleaner. It's mainly water with rubbing alcohol, vinegar, and corn starch. It cuts right through grease and costs less than 50p a gallon. The recipe is called the "Alvin Corn Homemade Glass Cleaner" and is posted here.
I have also recently discovered a nifty trick that obviates that need to pour this cleaner in my mouth and spit it onto the window or countertop before wiping down the surface. Instead, I simply use one of these 16-ounce plastic spray bottles!
The nozzle can be adjusted to provide a fine mist or a high-pressure stream, depending upon my needs.
I was also impressed to read of the Alvin Corn Cleaning Squad. I am certain this is the exact sort of citizens' brigade that our Inner Party would call upon to carry out spectacularly elaborate acts of public vandalism in key urban areas in order to distract the masses from real issues. Such actions are good, wholesome entertainment for the proletariat, even when they are perpetrated against members of our own class.
