Obvious Plant just dropped a new toy, and it made me laugh, so I'm sharing it with you. It's called "Please Do Not Sexualize Boldor," and consists of a little plastic robot creature with blue legs, an orange body, and two different colored arms (green and pink). The instructions on the front of the package say: "Boldor is a children's toy; He does not have genitals; DO NOT DRAW EROTIC FAN ART OF BOLDOR!"
The back of the package reiterates the plea to not sexualize Boldor, stating:
Boldor is for boy and girl
Please enjoy in an appropriate manner
ABSOLUTELY DO NOT:
1. Pose Boldor suggestively
2. Write erotic fan fiction about Boldor
3. Draw lewd imagery of Boldor
4. Announce that Boldor can "get it"
5. Discuss the "thickness" of Boldor
5. Cosplay as Boldor and bend over to reveal your buttock or other private area
This product is not real
Nothing is real
If you don't know Obvious Plant, you should, he's pretty hilarious (and yes, there are two number 5s on the package—that's on purpose). We Like LA published a great piece about him a couple of years ago. They explain:
Jeff Wysaski, aka "Obvious Plant," has been surreptitiously inserting fake signs and products into everyday Los Angeles locations. There's the time he added some little-known animal facts to habitats at the Los Angeles Zoo, like: "America's first president, George Washington, was actually 9 koalas stacked on top of each other." Or the time he added an artist's statement card to a mirror in the men's restroom at LACMA. The card read, "Reflection of a Hideous Man. Los Angeles, circa 2015. An ugly, disfigured man gazes into the abyss." But it's not just signs; Wysaski also adds fake toys and other products to store shelves. This includes his "Revengers" actions figures, with characters like "Regular Raccoon" and "Fedora Ron."
Wysaski's sense of humor tends to skew dark, juxtaposing cute toys and nostalgia with existential dread. One toy offers both man's best friend—a big-eyed, fuzzy dog—and his worst, or, "the depression that inevitably consumes him." Another toy is just a bag of air labeled "Muppet Screams." A colorful board game is titled "Hello Kitty Goes to Rehab" and a neatly packaged 16-month calendar depicts "Lonely People Holding Cats… at least they have cats." One might say Wysaski was ahead of the faux-cheery, late capitalism nihilism of corporate brands like Sunny D, which recently tweeted, "I can't do this anymore." And what better way to face the void than with something as innocent as a toy.
If you want more of this kind of thing, follow him on Twitter. And, please, I beg you, do not sexualize Boldor!