The current holder of the Guinness World Record for the world's largest digital image is a 281 gigapixel picture of a zebrafish embryo, comprised of 26,434 individual electron microscopy images. NASA created a 680 gigapixel scan of the moon, while someone made an even larger scan of Rembrandt's The Night Watch.
But those epic feats of digital composition pale in comparison to 102 terapixel cock n' balls known as The World's Biggest Penis. As Buzzfeed News explains it, for perspective:
Almost a year in the making, the image has an area of 102,040,171,200,000 pixels — 290 times larger than the current record holder. At one pixel per inch, it would wrap around the Earth 2.7 times. If printed out at 15 DPI, a fairly common setting for large billboards, the image would be as tall as 16,408 Empire State Buildings stacked on top of each other. If 3D-printed, the image could (hypothetically) be used to bat the International Space Station out of orbit.
This image is so immense, in fact, that it can't be opened like any common digital file. It can only be accessed with specialized software, programs used in fields like geography, microbiology, and astronomy. "Uncompressed, this thing would be 250 terabytes, which is huge!" the image creator, speaking to BuzzFeed News via Zoom, said with a proud grin. "Like, you can't just pick up 250 terabytes at Walmart."
To be clear, it is a cartoon dick, and not an actual image of the penis attached to the person who decided to spend their time creating an gargantuan digital image of a cartoon cock. That person, a former NASA intern and current senior software engineer for a Fortune 500 company, does not with to be identified; similarly, they do not wish to reveal whether their huge digital dong is circumcised or not. There is a Twitter account pumping out little pieces of the prick, pixel by pixel. At the current rate, that Twitter bot is expected to take 134,819 years to complete the image (assuming that Elon Musk doesn't ruin it first).
0.00026824% of an unsolicited dick pic forthcoming:
As if this isn't absurd enough, the project actually started as an NFT, according to Buzzfeed News:
"If I'm going to stoop to making an NFT, I want it to be proper silly," he said. "If it's going to be a single image, it needs to be huge, like really big and really satirical.
"A big meme could work, but I can't use someone else's work, it needs to be original," he continued. "I can't make an enormous image by hand, it needs to be generated. It could be something like a fractal, but that's boring. It needs to be able to 'grow' so that I can make it as large as possible."
At this point in the story, he took a long pause. "And then I had it: A penis. A giant, huge, uncontrollably large cartoon penis." He let out a chuckle, then went on: "I was so excited because I knew it worked from a technical perspective, it poked fun at NFTs the way I wanted, and it had the right zing and lulz to it. I just started laughing and jumping up and down as if I had just won the lottery."
Unfortunately, Guinness has yet to crown this creator with the World Record for biggest digital dick. They claim the reason is because they cannot verify that it is, in fact, a complete image, and not just a gag, or incomplete bits. Also, it's a penis.
If you don't have time to scan the entire image yourself — which, to be fair, it is very large and quite consuming — there is a "flaccid version" that has been scaled down to 128 gigapixels (4 GB of data, vs 250+ TB for the erect version), which you can download for free. The website also offers some other, uhhh, tips in case the penis is too big for you or your computer to handle.
Also, if you scroll down the website, there is a handy history of penis art, alongside the (supposedly non-repeating!) dorsal vein. There's a "treasure hunt" too, full of other Easter Eggs to discover along the shaft. About 0.0000034955% of the way down (there's a meter on the site), you can get into the nerdy details about image formatting and compression, too.
And finally, because I'm sure you were curious: yes, there is merchandise.