Back in January 2023, a tech investor named Bryan Johnson — who made $800 million in cash when he sold his payment processing company to eBay a decade ago — started making headlines for his efforts to essentially de-age his body. His efforts to do this mostly involve massive amounts of physical data collection and a really bland-sounding vegan diet.
Also penis shockwave therapy, as he tweeted earlier this month:
Miles Klee at Rolling Stone took on the brave task of digging into what, exactly, penis shockwave therapy entails, and if it could potentially restore your dong back to the elasticity and virility it once had in those youthful days of frequent ill-timed boners. It turns out…maybe?
In 2010, low-energy shockwaves were used as an experimental treatment for erectile dysfunction and Peyronie's disease, in which a buildup of scar tissue can deform the penis and lead to pain and erectile disfunction.
"Firstly, shockwaves create direct mechanical stress on the tissues, causing the body to then begin repairing those damaged tissues that also contribute to erectile dysfunction," [Dr. Rena] Malik [a board-certified urologist and pelvic surgeon] says. "Secondly, shockwaves create turbulent flow in the blood vessels, which makes the body think there is trauma, and it triggers the body to produce growth factors such as vascular endothelial growth factor (VEGF). These growth factors promote angiogenesis, the growth of new blood vessels, and may enhance the production of nitric oxide — an essential factor for achieving and maintaining erections."
"This process is very similar to weightlifting," she says. "As you create micro-tears in the muscle, the body's response is to repair and regenerate the muscle tissue into a sturdier, healthier tissue with an increase in blood flow."
Alternatively, one could embrace the inherent beauty of mortality and aging. Either way, I wish his penis the best of luck, I guess.
A Tech Millionaire's Plan for Full-Body Rejuvenation Has Gone… Down There [Miles Klee / Rolling Stone]