We've introduced you to the work of Rhett & Link before—like the real advertisement they made for Red House Furniture, and their ridiculously wonderful Christmas Booty Song—and we're back with another one of their classic commercials. They created this one in 2012 for the Roller Kingdom Family Fun Center, and it stars Roller Kingdom owner and employees: Brad (Owner/Kidnapper), George (Skate Instructor/Gang Leader), and Julio (DJ/Drug Dealer).
It's bad… so bad it's good. Really good, and all of a sudden I'm reevaluating my entire roller rink policy . . .
Focused around some of the worst things you can imagine, a shady dude in a car offering drugs to a kid, a flat out creeper trying to lure another kid into what is very obviously his kidnapper van with promises of candy, another kid confronted by a hard looking street gang trying to recruit her for nefarious purposes. It takes a definite turn into the funny when the kids all respond in the same way, "No! I'm going roller skating!" and the bad guys are instantly thwarted.
The testimonials from kids are the best. "I want to be addicted to roller skating, not crack!" and "If we roller skate today we'll go to college tomorrow!" and my very favorite bit of new information, "Prison is for people who have never roller skated!" See, I didn't know that. I don't think a lot of people know that.
The ad really is funny—I've watched it a few times and I truly love the comically terrible acting, the afterschool special vibes permeating the warnings about "the streets," and the positioning of roller skating as the way to save kids from drugs, gangs, spray painting, crack, prison, unplanned pregnancy, meth, and reefer. Way to go, Roller Kingdom!