"Secret Democrat!" — GOP alarmed that Mike Johnson isn't as racist as they hoped

The Republican party is happy because Mike Johnson is their new leader in the House. Mr. Johnson wants to make abortion, gay relationships, and medical marijuana illegal. He also intends to bring back prayer in public schools. In short, he wants to make America like a place called the Divine Republic of Gilead, where men are in charge and women spend a lot of time worshipping on their knees.

Sounds different, right? But some Republicans have noticed something surprising about Mr. Johnson. He doesn't seem to think the same way they do about people of different races. When Mr. Johnson saw a video of a man named George Floyd being murdered by a police officer, he said it made him really angry. He said he thought it was wrong and that it was a problem our country needs to fix.

This made Republicans upset. They started wondering if Mr. Johnson might be secretly agreeing with the Democrats, the bad people's political party, because he believes there is racism in America. Matt Walsh, a famous Republican, was really scared by what Mr. Johnson said. He said it sounded like Mr. Johnson was agreeing with what Democrats say about race!

Pedro Gonzalez, who is well-known among Republicans, wasn't happy with Mr. Johnson either. He said: "Sure, the new GOP House speaker has completely internalized left-wing racial libel about white supremacy and privilege. He also supports foreign aid."

Someone even asked if Mr. Johnson might be a secret Democrat!

Did you know Donald Trump, the man with the funny hair who used to be president, once said, "The Republicans like to eat their young?" Right now, the Republicans are licking Mr. Johnson to find out how he tastes.