MAGA's dream shattered as Speaker Johnson stands against Putin's Ukraine invasion

There is woe and gnashing of teeth in MAGAland today. The denizens of this fascist-friendly fiefdom have discovered that they've been tricked.

They were promised by Matt Gaetz and other far-right members in the House that the new House Speaker Mike Johnson would be the answer to their dreams of an abortion-free, gay-free, Christian Nationalist empire.

But then they found out that Johnson thinks racism against Black people is a problem in the United States. They screeched in horror on Xitter about this shocking revelation.

Still reeling, today they learned that Johnson doesn't want MAGA hero Vladimir Putin to take over Ukraine!

In an interview with Sean Hannity, he said, "We can't allow Putin to prevail in Ukraine because I don't believe it would stop there. And it would probably encourage and empower China to perhaps make a move on Taiwan… We're not going to abandon them."

The shockwaves are palpable, spreading across MAGAland like a wildfire. Some are questioning the allegiance of their leaders, while others are in denial, claiming that Johnson has been coerced or manipulated.

MAGA philosopher JD Vance expressed his disappointment by xitting, "To his great credit, the new speaker has been a stalwart on the Ukraine issue—voting consistently against an endless conflict with no plan from the Biden administration. It's concerning to see him change his tune so quickly after being elevated to this role."

What's next? Will Johnson do an about-face and start advocating for gun control or supporting LGBTQ+ rights? Will he abandon GOP Christianity and convert to Discordianism? The MAGA faithful are left with their heads spinning, unsure of what to expect from their once chosen champion.