MAGA Mike Johnson spoke to a group of Christian nationalists last night, claiming he has been having late-night chats with Jesus recently. Being a humble servant of God, he was surprised to learn that Jesus unexpectedly appointed him as the next Moses, tasked to lead an imminent "Red Sea moment."
Here's how Mike recalls it (video here, and below):
"The Lord told me very clearly to prepare and be ready. 'Be ready for what? Okay, I don't know.'
'We're coming to a Red Sea moment.'
'What does that mean, Lord?'
And then, when the speaker's race happened, and Kevin McCarthy — a dear friend of mine — was deposed, vacated from the chair. Oh, wow. Well, this is what the Lord may have been preparing us for. And so, I started praying more about that. And then the Lord began to wake me up through this three-week process we're in, in the middle of the night, and to speak to me and to write things down — plans and procedures and ideas on how we could pull the conference together.
Now at the time, I assumed the Lord was going to choose a new Moses. And, 'Oh, thank you, Lord. Lord, you're going to allow me to be Aaron to Moses!'
And so, I worked to get Steve Scalise elected speaker. That didn't happen. And then Jim Jordan, who's like another big brother of mine. No, that didn't happen. And Tom Emmer. And, you know, ultimately, thirteen people ran for the post.
And the Lord kept telling me to 'Wait, wait, wait,' so I waited, I waited, and then at the end, when it came to the end, the Lord said, 'Now, step forward.'
'Me? I'm supposed to be Aaron.'
No, the Lord said, 'Step forward.'"
So there you have it, Jesus himself, the greatest American who ever lived, appointed Mike to be Speaker of the House and Moses. I can't wait for part where he spends the next 40 years wandering the desert!