These wine descriptions are perfectly absurd!

Dos Cabezas Wineworks in Sonoita, Arizona (that's down in southern Arizona, south of Tucson and very near the Mexico border) offers absolutely delicious, award-winning wines. It's one of my favorite places to stop and enjoy some awesome wine and delicious pizzas. The small winery is owned and run by Todd and Kelly Bostock and their extended family. Todd and Kelly were named among The San Francisco Chronicle's "10 Winemakers to Watch for 2015." 

Todd Bostock's talents go beyond making terrific wine and scrumptious pizza—he's also perfected the art of wine descriptions. I was perusing the wine menu yesterday and laughed out loud at some of the absolutely absurd—and delightfully absurdist—descriptions. Here are some of my favorites.

2022 Pink::Cimarron Vineyard, Willcox, AZ (60% Garnacha, 20% Syrah, 12% Graciano, 6% Monastrell, 1% Tempranillo, 1% Kerner): Precisely perfect pink. Cara cara studded pavlova. Your hands after peeling a tangelo. Brand new copper penny. Monsoon downdraft. Fennel bulb. Ocean air. Texting to see when you are available to grab a dozen oysters. A dozen tacos al pastor. A dozen days off for a roadtrip…

1° Tigresa::Cimarron Vineyard, Willcox, AZ (34% Garnacha, 30% Tempranillo, 30% Riesling, 6% Graciano): In the glass, the hue Edith is singing about. In the nose, a comprehensive chorus of citrus complemented by olives and herbed macerated strawberries. Ethereal effervescence in the mouth gives in to tart lingering mineral manifest.

2021 La Montaña::Cimarron Vineyard, Willcox AZ (28% Petit Verdot, 28% Cabernet Sauvignon, 26% Syrah, 18% Petite Sirah): The deep red hue employed by snug leather seats in fast cars pleading the case for speed limit as one sign's opinion. Pre-hibernation bear hide, tangled up in a late season bramble bender. Opulent. Tightly wound. Fresh, darkfruit packed tannin weight. Has the life experience to entertain attention without demanding it. Generous now, rewarding later. Heirloom Café in San Franciso serves an extraterrestrial epoisses burger, never on the menu—but somehow always available… these two would make an interstellar culinary love connection—epoisses cheese (we just bought some at Costco, so no excuses), good ground beef (Vera Earl Premium Beef is our go to), onion jam, crunch pickled vegetable, glass of La Montaña=blast off.

I've included images of the full wine menu, below, for your pleasure. Happy reading! And if you're ever anywhere near Dos Cabezas, do yourself a favor and stop in! You can also buy their delicious wine from their website.