Trump laughably renames himself "Honest Don"

On the hook for over $450 million for fraud, Donald Trump has taken to referring to himself as "Honest Don."

Donald Trump is one of the least honest people ever to have been called a politician. With lies about everything from his wealth, his sexual assaults, his time in office, and Taylor Swift, Trump is nearly impossible to call honest. While his cultists believe Trump "speaking his mind" is somehow factual, it is far more likely to be the demented rantings of a stressed-out cholesterol junkie; they just like to have their hatred given a pass.

"Dean Phillips, who just 'quit' in his hapless campaign against Crooked Joe Biden, was not very good at his craft, politics," Trump began. "In fact, I would say that he was far worse than the Republican challengers to me, with a few exceptions."

"I'll give you those names if you like, but I'd rather get down to the serious business of defeating the worst President in the history of the United States, by far, Crooked Joe Biden!!!" Trump added. "For the good of our now failing Nation, and in order to inform the American people of what is going on in our Country, we must immediately have a full scale debate between Crooked Joe and Honest Don. I'm ready to go, ANY TIME, ANY PLACE!"