Marjorie Taylor Greene's boyfriend says people who made fun of him for eclipse warning are "going straight to hell"

Who knew the end times would be heralded not with fire and brimstone but with solar eclipses, minor tremors, and cicadas?

On Friday, Marjorie Taylor Greene's boyfriend sat in his car — the modern MAGA prophet's pulpit — and babbled nonsense about his fear of eclipses, minor earthquakes, and cicadas.

In an unhinged rant that sounds like a rejected B-movie script, Brian Glenn warned, "This might be the last normal weekend that we have for quite some time."

"I mean, we've got this solar eclipse on Monday, this very rare solar eclipse. Who knows what the fallout from that will be?" Scientists know what the fallout will be: none whatsoever, but why let facts get in the way of a good panic?

"Plus, that will be combined with several earthquakes. We've already seen a few already." Just a few? USGS estimates that there are 500,000 detectable earthquakes worldwide each year, which equates to about 1,370 earthquakes per day.

He then mistakenly compares cicadas to a biblical plague of locusts, saying, "And why not sprinkle in this infestation of locusts that have been dormant for years and all of a sudden will attack mankind?" I'm not sure how adult cicadas, who are more interested in mating than eating (they may consume small amounts of plant sap or water), will "attack humanity." Perhaps it's best to disregard the ravings of a man recording himself in his car.

Today, Mr. Glenn, feeling the sting of public mockery. resorted to the age-old defense of the cornered internet sage: condemning his detractors to hell.

Oooh, scary. Maybe now people will give Brian the respect he thinks he deserves!