Comrade Mike Johnson takes orders from his leader Vladimir Putin: Ukraine aid sits in limbo

It's been said that Vogue editor Anna Wintour feared only two people while they were alive: Si Newhouse and Oscar de la Renta.

House Speaker Mike Johnson shares a similar trait, only he's scared of three people: Donald Trump, Marjorie Taylor Greene, and Vladimir Putin. Fortunately for Johnson, Greene fears Trump and Putin, and Trump fears Putin (who fears no one), so there is never a conflict of interest. If Putin and the oligarchs he hasn't poisoned yet don't want the United States to help Ukraine from being crushed, Johnson can ignore the pleas of every democratic leader on Earth and rest assured that Trump won't say anything mean about him on Truth Social.

As reported in The Guardian, David Cameron had hoped to charm Trump into facilitating a meeting with Johnson, aiming to push through a $60bn military aid package for Ukraine. But Comrade Johnson, with one eye nervously trained on the Kremlin and the other on Mar-a-Lago, refused to meet with Cameron. Instead, the British Foreign Secretary found himself in the crosshairs of uber wacko Marjorie Taylor Greene, who went to work derailing his efforts completely and threatening to oust Johnson for merely considering aid to Ukraine.

At a private dinner, Cameron begged Trump, the de facto U.S. dictator, to consider the strategic folly in allowing Putin to claim Ukraine's land unopposed. The plea fell on bronzed ears tuned only to the symphony of self-interest.

Cameron and Antony Blinken, at a press conference, reiterated the dire need for the aid, with Cameron emoting beyond his usual diplomatic reserve, stressing the historical weight of their plea, "Future generations may look back at us and say, did we do enough when this country was invaded by a dictator trying to redraw boundaries by force? Did we learn the lessons from history? And did we do enough?"

Thanks to Moses Johnson, the answer to those questions will be a fairy tale ending for the autocrats, and a nightmare for everyone else.