Remember when Trump promised he'd wave his tiny hands and make grocery prices plummet "on Day One?"
Well, the USDA (that deep state agency yet to be raided by DOGE goons) reports that the price of eggs has gone up $1.28 a dozen (22%) since January. And Trading Economics tells us eggs hit their highest price ever — $7.09 per dozen.
So what happened? Newly-minted Vice President and professional goalpost-mover J.D. Vance explained that when Trump said "immediately," what he actually meant was eventually, maybe, someday, who really knows? Vance helpfully clarified that "Prices are going to come down, but it's going to take a little bit of time." A little bit of time in MAGA-speak could mean anything from next Tuesday to the 12th of Never.
Of course, this was never actually about eggs or inflation or whatever economic boogeyman they're blaming this week. It's about keeping the base angry and scared about losing their perceived status in society.
At least we can still crack jokes about it — until Musk's "Free Speech Enforcement Squad" decides we're using our First Amendment rights all wrong and ships us off to that new mega-prison in El Salvador. We'll be waiting for you in Block C.
Previously:
• Who stole 100,000 eggs in Pennsylvania?
• How to cook perfect hard-boiled eggs
