You think your tax situation is rough? Ancient tax fraudsters got fed to lions, so maybe stop whining about your 1040
A newly decoded 1,900-year-old papyrus shows how two guys tried gaming the Roman tax system and learned that Imperial Rome did not mess around with tax cheats. Like, "getting eaten alive by leopards" not messing around.
The scroll, which sat gathering dust in an Israeli archive until 2014, spills the tea about these two finance bros avant la lettre named Gadalias and Saulos who cooked up a scheme to dodge slave taxes. Their brilliant plan? Fake-selling slaves across provincial borders so they'd vanish from the tax rolls while actually keeping them right where they were. Real "Trump's property valuations" energy right there.
As the New York Times reports, historian Anna Dolganov cracked the case hidden in this ancient court document. And holy mother of Jupiter, the punishments these tax-dodging bros faced make the IRS look like a support group for troubled accountants. We're talking exile, hard labor in salt mines, or — if the judge was feeling extra spicy — public execution via wild animals.
"If the Roman judge was convinced these were hardened criminals," Dolganov told the Times, "Gadalias as a member of his local civic elite may have received a more merciful death by decapitation." Oh good, just decapitation! She added, "At any rate, almost anything is better than being eaten by leopards." (Which, coincidentally, is also the Trump 2024 campaign slogan.)
So maybe stop bitching about your TurboTax subscription and be grateful the worst the IRS can do is garnish your wages. Though given the current administration, maybe don't give them any ideas.
Previously:
• Death and Taxes, and a Boing Boing story
• IRS goes after gig workers instead of billionaire tax dodgers
• State of Georgia says you can claim embryo on your taxes as a dependent
