As reported in How-To-Geek, some brave/foolish soul convinced his macOS-loving partner to abandon her sleek, functional ecosystem for the digital equivalent of assembling IKEA furniture blindfolded — aka Linux.
The price tag for getting her to go along with this masochistic fantasy? A luxury cruise. Forcing someone to learn terminal commands in exchange for ocean views is a funny way of saying "I love you."
Our heroine faced the Ubuntu installer like a champ, despite it asking more questions than a passive-aggressive mother-in-law. "Why is this so complicated?" she asked, channeling every sane person who's ever attempted to partition a drive.
By mid-week, the charm of "actual control" grew weaker than an unlocked bottle of vodka in a house with teenage children. It turns out people prefer their computers to just… work? Who knew?
The peak of this digital Stockholm syndrome came when Mr. GUIs-are-for-the-weak introduced her to the terminal. Because who doesn't want to type cryptic commands when they could be getting work done?
"It's like driving a manual car," she observed, perfectly describing why most people prefer automatics — especially when they're not being bribed with Caribbean vacations.
Look, we're not here to kink-shame anyone's operating system preferences. If you get hot and bothered by command line interfaces, you do you. But when your Linux evangelism requires the same compensation package as a medical trial, maybe it's time to examine your life choices.
In the end, she fled back to her MacBook faster than Vice President Vance abandons his principles. The couple remains together, proving that love can survive anything – even someone who thinks 'sudo apt-get install' counts as foreplay.
Previously:
• How to install Linux Mint on your Mac or Windows machine
• Facebook removing Linux discussions as security threats
