Li'l J: "Hit me up on my mufuggin MySpace."

Our friend Sean Bonner discovered this outstanding specimen of internet phenomenology.


  1. Ugh. I feel bad for her ignorance and for the fact that she’ll be beaten to a pulp before the end of the day by any black kids that happen to know her.

  2. Yikes almighty! How embarrassing. Eh, not so much what she said, but the presentation. I mean, if you gonna say it, you gotta feel it.

  3. Is weeping an acceptable reaction to this?
    No laughter; I’m not offended – I’m just frightened by this being the potential window to what else is out there.

  4. Wow – it looks like she had rehearsed that a few times before recording it. I hope she wrote a script.

    I need that script.

  5. @13: I thought that as well, judging from the (a) runny mascara or (b) shiner that she’s sporting under her left eye.

  6. My best guess is Closed Head Injury, Drugs, Social Retardation….She needs to have her mouth washed out with soap for starters.

    Oh, but when I was her age I took too much pleasure making prank phone calls where I’m sure I sounded just about that smart.

  7. This just proves what I’ve been saying all along:

    You just can’t be thugged-out with freckles and bright red hair.

  8. This would be funny if it weren’t so goddamned depressing. What is she, 12? 13? She’s just a little GIRL. She should be skipping through a meadow wearing a muthufuckin gingham SUNBONNET. The best argument for the end of our species I’ve ever seen.

  9. I don’t see what you guys are talking about, I guess. Is it her hairstyle or something? That’s just how we talk in Kansas ya’ll. If you have a problem with it, well you can say it to…my face, biatches.


  10. The youtube and the comments here are equally funny to me. Silly kid on video, responded to by aging hipsters who just don’t get what’s wrong with the kids today.

    ‘Course, I’m one to talk, having recently turned 33, and only vaguely remembering being her age. :)

  11. This was posted a year ago and if you go into her profile it is the only video she posted and she hasn’t logged in since. I wonder what she will think if she ever finds out that this video has been discovered?

  12. My life is really bleak and depressing right now, and yet this video makes it seem like everything’s going to be all right.

  13. I posted some inane shit on Usenet back in the day (early 90’s, when I was maybe 13 or 14)…anyone who knew my email address at the time could look it up now on Deja News (hahah!). Thank god I’ve gone through about 5 email addresses since then and my past can remain my past.

    I just thank god YouTube didn’t exist back then. I feel so bad for this girl. If her name gets linked to this, every potential employer for the rest of her life is going to find it on their first google of her name.


  14. Hey everyone – want to get really bummed? Go to this video on its Youtube page, and check out the over 1300 comments. 90% of them are horrifying – disgusting, angry troll-spewing, telling this little girl she should be raped, tortured, and get hit by a bus; and other such witty, profound things.

    As disturbing as the Lil’ J video is, the comments on it on YouTube are astonishingly idiotic, and disgusting. So this is the great Internet, bringing us together, or something… sigh.

  15. So much for violence in tv, movies and music not affecting our youth. Somehow I doubt she learned this on “the street”.

  16. I love the stuffy nose voice and the stumbling over words, as well as the face/MySpace rhyme. That’s totally badass. I’m shakin’ in my boots. :D

  17. She’d make a great cult inductee. Just screaming out to be given a purpose based on a cult of personality that would remove her from the sadly abusive schoolyard situation she is obviously in. The problem I see though is this mixed message of what I take to be slang for “have sex with me now” and “I have teeth down there, along with flesh eating bacteria.” Send her some Scientology links.

  18. As troubling as this was on first viewing for all the reasons pointed out above, on second thought, it seems that this was a miss-guided attempt to vent and rage after having been tormented by peers steeped in thuggery and might-is-right culture that passes for early adolescence.

    Having been a victim of bullying, and likely not the only one on this forum, I think you have to have some sympathy for her. She of course has no tools of articulation, expression or recourse – and comes off sounding half-retarded to us (semi)educated adults, but given that she is probably responding to being tormented by others who adopt the same vocabulary it has a certain internal consistency to it. A culture steeped in violence, ghetto-opulence, insincerity and just plain viciousness produces little else other than this unfortunate victim.

    To agree, also, with those above – I too am very happy I did not have internet access/youtube when I was being tormented most everyday through junior high.

  19. Poor kid. Not for nothing would I repeat the horror show that was junior high school. But I do wonder about the amount of access to information that kids have today. I was naive and unworldly at 16, and 25 years later I can point you to a blog by a 16 year old girl who likes to drink her boyfriend’s urine and masturbate to German piss porn.

    Sure that’s an extreme example, but how many 16 year olds had ANY idea that kind of stuff even existed, 25 years ago? Intertubes, I love you, but this is your fault.

  20. The video was funny, but the comments thread for this post is the funniest one I’ve seen yet on BingBong. I don’t know when I’ve laffed so hard! Oh, the humanity.

    It almost makes up for my time spent foolishly skimming the long and tiresome rants about Honda and Microsoft.


  21. Dang, yo! Pre-teen zombies always be gettin in mah utube!

    I’m mean, what’s up with those veins on her face anyway? yikes.

  22. As above, so below. I was lucky enough to have actually had internet access when I was this age, but I didn’t feel the need to vent or create some kind of rant online… I did however end up in lots of bbs and irc wars, however I was the OP and ircOP in most cases. True, she does seem to be trying to deal with it and deflect it, but she also does not know any better. I grew up in a very “interesting” neighborhood with a lot of culture crossovers. My school had both an advanced academics program with multiple students from the “rich” side of town as well as the highest gang rate in the area. Seeing as how I was in the academics program and lived in one of the poorest neighborhoods in town, I learned how to survive. Frankly, sometimes it is necessary for a teen to become Sun Tzu’s Art of War to really make it thru; the problem is finding a delicate balance of defensive offense without crossing the line and ending up permanently damaging someone or someone’s life. With that in mind – to the few teens reading this today who’re having bully issues and such – everyone is afraid of something, BE that fear for THEM. Alot of bullies are only bullies within a set of boundaries, some won’t cause trouble where they can be caught, so you take it to them there. I am NOT recommending violence or psychological warfare (cough) but sometimes it is necessary to be the bigger evil.

  23. The future of Vlogging looks so bright right now.

    I can imagine, “You keep fuckin’ wit’ me at school, I’ll hit you back on da YOUTUBE.” Whatever happened to writing insults in marker on the bathroom wall?

  24. Hello Lil’ J?

    Hi, this is the English language. After careful consideration (two viewings of this video), we regret to inform you that your license to use the English language has been revoked. We’re not sure what head injuries you may have had in earlier life, but what you speak cannot be considered “English”. We will be over later today to take any possessions of yours that are in English. However, the good people of the Esperanto Embassy have taken pity on your case and would gladly grant you citizenship.


    The English Language

  25. I amazed that nobody here is shocked at her dropping the “N-bomb” with so much ease. . . not that I was shocked– white kids have been doing it since at least 1992, with no apparent racially charged meaning (or at least that’s what I witnessed among mixed groups of kids: white kid drops n-bomb, black kids don’t even notice). When you grow up listening to NWA and Mobb Deep, well, you learn all the lyrics.

  26. HaHaHAAA! Hilarious! Been there, döne that, burned the mufukkin’ t-shirt :D
    I agree with Ill Lich, when you immerse yourself in the music, you learn the lyrics, ya’ll.

  27. Does anyone else recall a science fiction short story from the 1940s or 50s, perhaps, in which the visiting aliens are not just humanoid, they’re humanlike — except they are all fat, cheerful, Biergarten types, good-fellow-well-met, unshakable, optimistic.

    And at some point the protagonist asks, how did these people get past the warfare and instability Earth is going through, the self-destructive stuff.

    And the answer is — at puberty each child is given a little built in circuit with two contacts on fingertips and two on the small of the back, hard but not impossible to reach. And if the kid wants to, they reach around, touch both spots, and die.

    Natural selection, they explain, wasn’t fast enough to save their civilization, so they automated it.

    And they got over war, and got faster than light travel, and are cheerfully visiting and opening beer halls or whatever it was they had to sell.

    And the narrator thinks —

    — and thinks — what if this is what it takes to get past the instability without blowing ourselves up as a planet?

    And then he thinks about his little girl. The sensitive one. Who feels hurts intensely, is moody ….

    God, if there is a God, save these kids from the tools we have put into their hands. We can’t.

  28. I’ve been thinking it’s time again to change the outgoing message on my answering machine. Perhaps this is just the ticket.

  29. h My Gd!!! Ths s why dn’t bthr t py ny dmnd ttntn t hllywd r vn th crrnt prsdntl rc, ll t s, s prpttn f ths xct stpdty. th pltcns r tryng t kp th cmmn pblc stpd wht scrs m s vn sng sm f t n th mltry whr ‘m sttnd. Th prblm s tht th rch .. pltcns wnt t kp ll f f stpd t by shny trnkts, thy dn’t wnt ldrs, s ys ths grls prnts shld b vry prd, bcs thy hv rsd gd lttl fllwr nd hlpd prptt th stpdty f scty. Nw cn sy tht whn my dghtr gts t tht g (nd m drdng t vrydy sh gt’s ldr) f fnd t sh ct’s lk tht, wll smck tht “ghtt thg” tttd t f hr mth. Jst th thr dy sw yng by mckng hs mthr nd stckng s tng t hr nd sh ddn’t vn bthr t scld th by nd thrtn spnkng whn thy gt hm, f hd dn tht t hs g wld hv bn smckd crss th fc rght thn nd thr by my fthr. f crs tht ws th 80’s whn y cld d tht wtht ppl gng nt’s. nw vryn thnks chld bs. s kd gt spnkd n pblc ll s s prnt tht cr’s ngh t dspln thr chld. Nw n th dctn ss mmm…… wll y cn s sh cn brly tlk bcs sh’s tryng t b smthng sh’s nt nd hll t 26 vn fmbl n wrd whn tlkng r frgt hw t spll wrd knw, bt whn hr ths kd’s tdy MY GD tchr’s r rlly strtng t slck. nd f thy wnt t btch bt thr py thy shld try th mltry y d mr wrk thn y vr rlly gt pd fr, bt ths f s n th mltry stll d th jb t th bst f r blty n mttr hw lttl w mk. gss tchrs jst dn’t tk prd n thr wrk nymr, gss hv t hmschl my dghtr f wnt hr t sccd n lf.

  30. unfortunately I have been reading up on natural selection and contrary to popular opinion it doesn’t select for smartest, healthiest, or even best. Fittest in evolutions eyes means that which has the most babies mommas daddies er I mean that which most quickly has the most offspring (even if dumb and short lived) more trumps better. Turns out too much intelligence prolongs procreation ( when smart people see kids acting like this anyway). Genes don’t exist to make humans but humans seem to exist to feed and spread genes. Unless smart people start having more kids then the average uneducated unwed teenage high school dropout mommy this nuisance of over intelligence (a recent mutation for the human race) will soon be weeded out so we can be once again be just smart enough to find food , fight and screw. Many studies show it’s already happening.We are getting collectively dumber. This girl may not even be stupid though she sounds like it.She is just behaving and thinking as the minds around her do. I recommend reading the book “Virus of The Mind the new science of the meme” if you want to really understand what it is you saw. There is a whole field dedicated to this phenomenon. The internet just alarms us who have not had contact others bizarre mental paradigms. Internet can spread knowledge or it can share the dumb. What happens when you can get a sampling of all of humanities diverse thoughts spreading at the peed of light ? Well isn’t the internet like 75 percent porn ? There you have it humans may be doomed.

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