Happy Tarvu Day, Everyone!

Robert Popper, who also happens to be the author of the superbly funny 2008 relase The Timewaster Letters, shares the seasonal Tarvuist greeting above. A hearty "Tarvu men-hatty noonah!" to you all, and best wishes for December 25 festivities. Praise Tarvu!


  1. I have no idea what this is. And when I stop laughing I’m going to have to decide if I want to open it and find out.

  2. While from a ecumenic prespective, I welcome Tarvuism, the table on their website fails to acknoledge Pastafarianism. As one who has been touched by His noodly apendage, I find this most insulting. Such lack of respect for established faiths, is in no way a good omen.

    While there is an obvious syncretism, probably due to a common pan-italian-caribean religion, which manifestates itself in a suction-cuppy apendage, i must protest in the more stronger terms possible against this false prophet!

    Reject false idols! There is but one God, and its name is FSM.

  3. Wow,
    There is nothing on Wikipedia about Tarvuism. I am in the presence of a true cult subculture. is it related to Pastafarianism? The Pastfa Arien Heresy?

  4. The sad thing is that Tarvuism is still more rational than a certain religion founded by a crappy science fiction writer I could name.

  5. Is Tarvuism a general-purpose spoof, or targeted at the followers of the good Mr. Hubbard, like Pastafarianism is used as foil to I.D.?

  6. Tarvism is all about making fun of organized religion. I don’t think its aimed at one in particular -just believing in something based purely on faith. I think some organization offered a million dollars to anyone that could prove that Tarvu doesn’t exist. I’m planning on taking the safe route myself, but I couldn’t imagine a heaven without Xeni, so hopefully her faith in Tarvu will be good enough, otherwise I’ll vouch for her. Xeni, if you find yourself in Tarvuland someday, put in a good word for me also – OK? -thx.

  7. Despite being a bokononist, I can respect the teachings of Tarvu. I find a common thread of foma in both teachings. ;)

  8. tarvu is a fake — its watered down wisdom just like the abrahamic religions — tarvuism simply gave Abraxas a new name, and dressed him up.

    Down with tarvuism! its a mind and power control scheme to enslave the people.

    Hail Abraxas!

    — Master Rakoczi

  9. minTphresh, you’d be freaked by some of my thoughts on existence. Especially the deep thoughts I have so frequently while driving home from work, very sleep deprived after being up all night. I’m not sure what’s going on during these drives, but I assume my brain’s frequency is dropping closer to the frequencies we have during sleep. I’ve been convinced before that I’m the only person that actually exists and everyone else is staged in some sort of test. Other times I’ve thought that our brains are nothing but a transmitter/receiver for our soul – which exists in another plane of existence and our body, nothing but a case for the “transceiver,” and a way for our brain to perceive the fake world we live in.

    I really shouldn’t let myself get so sleep deprived – weird thoughts like that can’t be good. I guess it comes from so many years reading hard science, Sci-Fi/Fantasy, and paranormal stuff.

  10. 00hh-kayyy Tommm…. tell ya what, you can ride with us,you can even wear your old, gold football helmet…just sleep light when we crash tonight,I gotta bad feeling about yer fellow towns-men.

  11. dunno, tom. im a pretty hard guy to freak out. but i would never want to dissuade you from thinkin deep thoughts. this is a good thing, and should be encouraged. the soul is a scary/beautiful place chock full of eternity. do you realize that every molecule, every atomic bit that is us and all we see, once burned at the heart of a million billion stars? each one forming, living, creating more complex elements,then exploding and ejecting that material into the great void. all to settle in this place at this time for you and i to expound upon. sci-fi fantasy has nothing on reality, and the infinite goes inward just as it does outward. sorry, don’t mean to get all preachie! happy holidays mr. hale. may your cup overflow in this new-year!

  12. Well Tom I think that shows a willingness for introspection and mental experimentation, desireable qualities, IMO, except perhaps when engaged in the operation of a motor vehicle.

    It is certainly possible that all is dream and yours is the only consciousness, and that this reality is the fantasy of a single eternal entity.

    None the less, I believe it is befitting to act as though the universe is as it appears, not illusory. Once you engage with others these stranger constructs seem to dissolve, and the world draws you back in, don’t you think?

  13. What? You don’t have odd thoughts when you’re sleep deprived? I think its a combination of the rhythm of the road along with being sleep deprived that triggers the process. Plus, I live in my head a lot, like I assume other chronically bored, hyperactive people with very vivid imaginations do. It hasn’t caused a crash or any psychotic/sociopathic problems yet.

  14. my belief is that tak has odd thoughts upon awakening, after a shower, and during breakfast. as well as all other times, real or imagined. i remember in college, after a 3-4 day spree of study and substance abuse, ( mostly study, as i was poor) i sat on a bed in a darkened room after exiting the shower . i looked up into the large mirror and was instantaneously transported to chapel street in ripper-era london. i walked around the streets for what seemed like 1/2/ hr. and was just amazed at the detail of what i was seeing. i could see the reflections of the buildings in the puddles of cold drizzly rain on the cobblestone roadway. the gas lamps and stench of it! but the whole time i was completely aware that i was sitting on the bed, still wet with a towel wrapped around me on a bed in florida. i then got up, got dressed and went back to work, downstairs. total time? about 5 min.s! i’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news, tom, but methinks you may be a closet (gasp) ARTIST! your brain wants to create! sounds like you have a carbunkle of creativity that is just ITCHIN to get lanced. i don’t know you well enough to know if it’s writing, performing arts, or visual arts, but you definitely have the signs. i know you’re fightin it, but if you don’t let it out, it will just fester and build until it erupts like vesuvius! and don’t tell yer redneck buddies, they WON’T understand. trust me on that one. best to get yourself comfortable in it first. remember for yourself: 1st is denial, 2nd is anger, then bargaining etc…

  15. don’t listen to him Tom! IF YOU PUT ENOUGH BEER ON IT,YOU CAN FIGHT THIS THING! (lords know,I’m still trying)

  16. minTphresh, I’d love to be able to write – poetry especially. I’d take the ability to write well over winning a hundred million in the next lottery. Well, maybe 10 million.

  17. well, hizz-omie. dust off yer metaphor and unpack yo simile and git yo ass on it! lottery-schmottery! i can see it now: the tom hale and maya angelou poetry SLAM! but, like i said, keep it on the d.l. them what’s amber ’round the gills is unpredictable as hell.

  18. well, according to St.Bob; to be a writer (like one who doesn’t die of starvation in a garret)
    first you must write, then you must finish what you write, then you must sell what you write. Just writing means you are alive, the second step means you want to remain alive tomorrow and the last means you will be. Leastways, that’s my sick interpretation.

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