Preposterous and nonsensical rap/hip-hop lyrics. Also, bling teeth.

blingteeth.jpg

Above, Bling Teeth, which sell for 75 cents a pop in vending machines. This image has nothing to do with what follows in this blog post, other than humor and a tangential association to the cultural trappings of hip-hop.

Alrighty then. "Snacks and Shit" is a blog dedicated to the appreciation of "rap and hip-hop lyrics that are absolutely absurd, ludicrous, nonsensical, ridiculous, basic, basically stupid, basically bad, basically basic, or preposterous." The authors "take some lines and examine them literally." Critics call them "willfully obtuse," I call them "funny."

"No room service just snacks and shit." - Jay-Z, Hey Papi

This is the line that started our whole obsession with rap and hip-hop lyrics. Honestly, this sounds more like something my dad would say. "Remember, no ordering room service. It's too expensive. Plus, I brought snacks."

Snacks and Shit (via John Moe)

32

  1. i’m so glad snacks n shit is mentioned on this site. i’ve been following them for a few weeks now and they’re hilarious!

  2. snacks n shit is too funny! #308, for some reason just really made me laugh out loud. #2 :”The driver on the bus says…” oh man, that’s just too silly and now I’m laughing again. Thanks Xeni!

  3. “We could finally fly off into NASA.”
    – Kanye West, Knock You Down by Keri Hilson

    This is so the wrong way to say this. It’s like saying, “I’ll get breakfast in my face.” No wait, that makes more sense than flying off into NASA.

    Oh, Kanye. You win the dumbass award, again.

  4. Snacks n Shit should devote a whole feature on just the lyrics of Juelz Santana– the most retarded BS I’ve ever heard.

  5. Ah the Bling Teeth,
    One of these vending machines is in the burger joint on the corner by my place. I put up a photo on Flickr a while back:
    Bling Teeth

  6. Sorry, but this is the dumbest shit boingboing has ever linked to. The idea of calling out the absurdity of rap lyrics is cool, but the execution is just so horribly unfunny. Here’s the formula, as near as I can suss it out:

    1) Quote some ridiculous/dumb/actually trenchant lyric
    2) Make the laziest, wackest quips about it
    3) pack the comments with beverage-spewing shill LOLers
    4) ???

    I dunno, I started at #1 and gave them fifty chances. Does their game improve?

  7. Snacks and Shit is clearly not for people who actually like or appreciate rap.

    Sure, there is some funny stuff on it, but there is also a fair amount that is just taking things out of context or not understanding the (cultural) context to begin with.

  8. Some of the commentary is pretty funny:

    “I’ma be the first hustler that set up shop on Jupiter.”
    – E 40, Hustle

    Nobody is going to do business with you on Jupiter.

    Filed under: Too far away / Would die instantly

    However, there’s often a self-parodying, overstated humor to a lot of rap / hip-hop to begin with. I suspect that much of what this site is “discovering” to be funny or dumb is, in fact, intentionally so.

  9. Some of the lines on the site are funny, but some of them are really pretty weak.

    It feels quite a lot like pulling random lines out of context, and misrepresenting the intent of the speaker. Like you would (stupidy) of some politician you don’t like.
    I think Nosehat nails it, lots of hip hop punchlines are intentionally funny, or silly. It’s not all gangsta.

    Of course, there are also some really bad lyricists out there.

  10. Hahah! I saw one of those quarter machines with the bling teeth at a rest stop in Indiana and couldn’t help myself. It was just so WEIRD, I had to take a couple pictures of it, and one of my mom posing next to it. Awesome. That red-headed kid just looks terrified, like they’re taking over his mouth and making their way to his brain or something.

  11. About Bling Teeth and Kids:

    I live in LA and while recently playing at a local park, Echo Park Lake, I came across something I have never seen before. Silver front teeth on toddlers. I was surprised when I saw them on the first child, a 3 year old girl, but then as we continued to play I saw a silver grill on two other kids, maybe 4 or 5 years old. I’m often at public parks with my kids and I’ve never seen this before. I wondered what the reason might be. Is it purely cosmetic or could there be some sort of dental corrective use? They do not look like crowns or caps, but cover the front of the teeth. Am I an idiot for not knowing? Please fill me in if you know anything about this.

  12. the linked site is so full of ignorance and hate I am really disappointed in bb.

    they hate on my favorite hip hop quote of all time: “I never sleep, ’cause sleep is the cousin of death.” – Nas, N.Y. State of Mind [link to wack site with senseless criticism omitted intentionally]

    first of all, this quote is alluding to *the iliad*:
    http://books.google.com/books?id=xmHX7wdhGE8C&lpg=PA272&dq=death&pg=PA272

    second of all, ‘to sleep on’ something is an idiom (common in hip hop) for missing something because you weren’t paying attention, so in this context it has a *whole other layer* of meaning.

    the sorry individuals who post on this site display an ignorance of the poetic tradition of the playful and evocative use of language (homer->shakespeare->etc) in combination with an ugly fear of the language and culture of ‘the other’.

  13. I was all ready to be angry at “snacks” for being borderline racist.

    But in the end, I was so bored with the weak, weak humour that I was all like, “why bother?”

    Fail.

  14. Silver teeth on little kids are actually stainless steel crowns/caps that dentists tend to use instead of filling baby teeth, because the filling would take up most of the tooth.

  15. I think people are taking this site way too seriously. They’re not really hating on anything, they’re just pointing out how ridiculous some lyrics are whether it’s mainstream, underground, whatever. I feel like the point is to be as silly as the rappers who are being silly.

    Devoted Hip Hop fans know that the music has that whole other layer of meaning, but sometimes it’s just fun to laugh at how easily out of context something can be taken and how ridiculous it can sound in the process. Plus, even the best rappers have their moments: “WAKE UP! Take the pillow from your head, and put a book in it!” Anybody?

  16. I’m with Jawsy. Hip hop can be funny, soulful, serious and full of shit – sometimes all in the same song. And the rappers know it, at least the ones who haven’t become so successful they start to believe their hype (I’m looking at you, Jay-Z).

    I recommend Blackalicious’ classic, Ego Trip, so you know what I mean. “So perfect, so ethereal, so serene I cannot be comprehended except by my permission.”
    I love rap, and some of that site cracked me right up. My impression is the authors are just ribbing their favourite artists. Sadly, half of BB commenters choose to get upset over everything.
    S

  17. I’m a big hip-hop fan, love the stuff, I also think this site is hilarious and just lost about an hour to it.

    People need to lighten up, yes they’re taking quote out of context and making them seem absurd. That in fact would be the entire point.

    Now honestly, this one’s not from their site but
    We got Magnum Brown, Shoothki – Valoothki
    Super-calafraga-hestik-alagoothki
    You could put dat in ya don’t know what I said book
    Took-look-yuk-duk-wuk
    Shinavative ill factors by da Flavor Flav
    Come an ride da Flavor wave

    Am I racist because I think this sounds absurd? Also if someone can translate the lyrics to Cold Lampin’ with Flavor into anything that makes any kind of sense I honestly would love to read/hear it. Been wanting to for years.

  18. The problem isn’t racism, it’s just that it’s immediately unfunny to anyone with even a passing interest in rap. The “snacks and shit” line by Jay-Z makes perfect sense to me; it’s a complete thought. I’ve heard Jay-Z himself rap much dumber shit. Why is it ridiculous, exactly?

    There are definitely ridiculous, stupid things said in rap lyrics, but their much better/ stupider than this. I’ll hear Ghostface say something about “expensive noodle hats” and just assume he’s using some slang I’m not hip to.

    @#25 – The whole POINT is that it sounds absurd, which is why you should put it in your “Don’t know what I said book”. Which you did. Notice that was the *ONE* time they gave Flav his own song.

    Somebody should send Snacks n’ Shit a Kool Keith album; their heads would explode. So silly, all the time!

  19. @#25 – The whole POINT is that it sounds absurd, which is why you should put it in your “Don’t know what I said book”. Which you did. Notice that was the *ONE* time they gave Flav his own song.

    911 is a joke.

    Although that is definitely a much, much better song.

    However that is only one small section of a much longer song, none of which makes sense.

    Again, I love Flavor Flav, love Public Enemy. Saw them live last time they came to Melbourne, managed to score Flav’s hat when it was thrown into the crowd.

    Still think the site is funny, still think that yes sometimes taking something completely out of context and examining it from an quite literal light can be a funny thing to do.

    Watch any episode of Seinfeld or listen to one of a million comedians for more examples of taking something out of context and examining it in a different and quite often absurd and/or literal light.

  20. Ok, TWO songs. Two. Freakin’ pedants.

    Still, it seemed a poor example, as the song in question was meant to be “absurd”, as stated in the quoted verse. The whole song is meant to be absurd. Pretending you don’t get it is intellectually dishonest.

    I don’t know if you’ve ever seen any amateur comedy, but it is not that funny.

  21. Whoever wrote:
    “There are definitely ridiculous, stupid things said in rap lyrics, but their much better/ stupider than this. I’ll hear Ghostface say something about “expensive noodle hats” and just assume he’s using some slang I’m not hip to.”

    Stellar job on accenting the ignorance in modern rap lyrics by advocating them.

    their != there are
    stupider != a word

    And of course he’s using some slang you’re not hip to. These rappers can’t produce all these songs without making up words to fulfill the rhymes.

Comments are closed.