How Buttsecks Works, by gay marriage opponent Rep. Nancy Elliott (R-NH)

Rep. Nancy Elliott (R-NH), in the video embedded above, explains why she opposes marriage between partners of the same sex. Snip:

buttsecks.jpgI started thinking, and We're talking about taking the penis of one man and putting it in the rectum of another man, and wiggling it around in excrement, and you have to think.... hmmm, not sure, would I allow that to happen to me?

All of us: that could happen to you! Would you let that happen to you? Is that normal?

Video link (thanks, Antinous!)


  1. Anything two consenting people do to each other is normal, it may not be to your taste, but then that does not matter.

  2. The fact that the other legislators (?) sitting to either side of her manage to keep complete stone faces (SHE certainly doesn’t) is amazing.

  3. Wow…I never thought of it that way. Perhaps we should tell our wives and girlfriends…maybe they’ll want us to stop? Oh wait…don’t stop…don’t stop.

  4. the old guy simply busying himself by her side while she’s saying that is just priceless. also the empty stare of the lady on the other side of her.

  5. Somebody needs to point out to her that there are probably more instances buttsecks between heterosexual couples than gays. Maybe then she’ll want to ban all marriage.

  6. Anything biological can be made to sound weird and disgusting and undignified. Digesting food, sex of any kind, childbirth, breastfeeding, defecation, the body’s defenses against disease. My favorite is Douglas Adams’ description of tea:

    “Yes,” said Arthur, “that is what I want.”

    “You want the taste of dried leaves boiled in water?”

    “Er, yes. With milk.”

    “Squirted out of a cow?”

    “Well, in a manner of speaking I suppose…”

    1. Let me guess: “Normal” sex is strictly for procreation, and there’s no joy involved, but lots of shame. Am I close? :-P

  7. The transcript was enough but I watched the video to see the reaction of those around her and was thoroughly disappointed by the lack of ‘WTF?!’ on the part of her colleagues

  8. Wiggling about? Really? Not vigorously thrusting? Gently slipping in and out? Grinding rhythmically?

    If she thinks any kind of sex involving a penis is a lot of ‘wiggling about’ then she really isn’t doing it right.

    Oh, and someone send her to her nearest sex shop – they’ll explain how you get around the excrement problem!

  9. We’re talking about taking the penis of a man and sticking it in the mucous-coated birth canal of a woman and wiggling it around, mingling seminal juices with god-knows-what’s up there… hmm, not sure, would I allow that to happen to me? I’m a representative from New Hampshire, of course I wouldn’t!

    1. gobo, you stole my comment! Except we need to add “possibly even MENSTRUAL BLOOD” for the full effect.

      Also, I started thinking, and we’re talking about taking the tongue of one person, and putting it in the mouth of another person, and wiggling it around in saliva, plaque, bacteria and food particles, and you have to think…hmm, not sure, would I allow that to happen to me?

      French kissing should be outlawed! It’s gross and unsanitary and can’t lead to procreation, so it’s obviously unnatural!

  10. Finally! Someone is being honest! Through all of the arguments against gay marriage, and homosexuality in general (“the bible says it’s wrong”, “it’s destroying the institution of marriage”), I’ve always had this nagging feeling that at the heart of the matter, these people are just grossed out. Get through all the bullshit of all the other arguments, and that’s what you’re left with.

    I think, honestly, until our society is more open about sexuality in general, that element of grossed-out-ness will continue to dominate the minds of gay marriage opponents. We need to show them that sex between consenting adults is natural and fun! No matter what it entails!

    1. On the other hand, who’d know more about wiggling around in excrement than a member of congress?

      …two of them.

  11. At first I read that as:
    “…and wiggling it around in excitement…”

    About a third of heterosexual couples in Britain are thought to use anal sex as an occasional method of sexual expression, with about 10% using it as a preferred or regular method.2 Perhaps two thirds of gay men practise anal sex as a regular part of their sexual repertoire. This means that, in absolute numbers, there are more heterosexuals having anal sex than there are gay men..

    You need to scroll down to near the *ahem* bottom of that page for the quote.

    What’s her problem anyway? No-one’s asking her to to do it are they? The bill isn’t about making Anal sex compulsory is it?

  12. Maybe that’s why she’s so cranky. All her husband does is “wiggle it around.” She’s probably never seen one all the way hard.

    I do hate these fucking morons. Get over it, you stupid loser.

  13. Um, I think your supposed to do it when there’s no fecal matter in there, either by timing it with your bowel movements or cleaning it out with an enema before.

    Not all gay couples do it, and some straight people do it.

    It is normal because a plurality of humans do it without any negative result.

    Dumb lady.

  14. What she doesn’t seem to realize is that legislation is supposed to be based on “compelling state interest” not “compelling personal interest”.

  15. The context of this yummy slice of democracy-pie is that Nancy Elliott sits on the Judiciary committee in the New Hampshire house of representatives. Same-sex marriage was finally made legal in NH as of the first of this year & Republicans have recently sponsored a bill to repeal it.

    You can read the text of HB 1590 here:

    Poo-ey penises: it could happen to you!

  16. When she was campaigning for her office, did she tell potential voters about this curious obsession of hers? I’m guessing not.

    1. For the love of His Noodlyness, someone remix this!

      I just the other day got, the penis of one man was sent by my staff at 10 o’clock in the morning on Friday and I just got it yesterday. Why? Because we’re putting it in a series of tubes! And if you don’t understand those tubes can be filled and if they are filled, when you put your message in the rectum of another man, and wiggling it around in excrement, anyone that puts into that tube enormous amounts of material, tangled up with all these things going on the internet, enormous amounts of material, and you have to think…. hmmm, not sure, would I allow that to happen to me?

  17. I wouldn’t let myself smoke a cigarette, or eat sauerkraut. Does that mean that my own standards should be foisted on the rest of the world? That’s simply preposterous. This woman is the very definition of a social conservative and the perfect example of why that’s a bad thing. When social standards become the law they become infected by groupthink and then very shortly you have an oppressive, highly conformist, straight-jacketed society. A succinct definition of freedom is the ability to engage in activities that your neighbors would disapprove of (whether that be sodomy, or body piercing, or even dungeons & dragons or reading subversive literature). It’s not her anus being “wiggled around in”, I don’t think she has a right to care.

  18. For the love of Pete, if you take the penis of one man & stick it in the rectum of another man & wiggle it around yer gonna end up with that frothy mixture of lube & fecal matter known as santorum. How do people that out of it get elected?

  19. So…

    Marriage is all about the sex. Because people won’t have sex until they’re married.

    Which must be why gay men want to get married. So they can have the sex.

    And if they start having their sex, then they’ll want us to have the sex. THEIR WAY.

    So, the best way to stamp this out is to not let them get married.

    Then they won’t be having the sex.

  20. So That’s how you guys do it …wow – who’d a thought? omg
    Wait, isn’t that what my wife and I… Nevermind – tmi
    I hope it’s Ok for me to say, Nancy Elliott is Retahded.

    OK, one of you needs too bite the bullet, take one for the team and give this woman a hot sexy night of lovin. 3 glasses of red wine and the right music and I’m pretty sure she’ll be open for anything – I’m betting she’s a Black Sabbath type.

  21. Just to make clear: This woman is not in Congress. She’s a member of the New Hampshire House of Representatives, one of the Anglophone world’s largest legislative bodies. Seriously – there are 400 people there, for a state with a population of only a bit over a million. It works out to about 3,300 people per rep. Cite:

    Speaking as a former New Hampshirite – given the lack of interest in state politics in most years, and the tiny size of most campaign budgets, it is relatively easy to get your party’s nomination for a seat, if you put in a few years of grunt work. It’s also important to note that NH state legislators are paid the princely sum of $200/year.

    So – you get people who’re mainly wealthy, retirees, or otherwise not required to work, whose main qualification is often little more than political activism. There are a lot of very good people serving in the NH legislature – but there are also some very odd ducks. This woman does *not* represent what NH is like. Mostly.

  22. Never has the expression “she needs to get laid” seem more appropriate. Of course “nothing a good shag won’t cure” works too.

  23. This woman’s comments reminded me of the “Men’s Talk” sketch by Alan Bennett & John Fortune: “That’s all it comes down to, isn’t it? Put it in and jiggle it about a bit.”

  24. I feel shame for my home state of NH. I always knew we had Republican bigots here but I never knew they were this bloody stupid. Bravo Rep Elliott you have lowered my opinion of your party even further. Which I did not think was possible. I pray you someday see the error of your ways.

  25. As the pervert Quentin Crisp said so brilliantly, it boils down to imagining yourself doing something that other people like but you find distasteful: “I don’t like peas, and I’m glad I don’t like peas, because if I liked peas I would eat peas, and I HATE peas”.

    “Would you let that happen to you? Is that normal?” Well, yes, Nancy Elliot, it is normal and I have let that happen to me (though there was no excrement or wiggling).

  26. I guess NH doesn’t take that whole “Live Free or Die” thing on their license plates very seriously, do they? Or maybe I’ve just never gotten close enough to read the fine print:

    Live Free or Die*
    678 WYS
    New Hampshire
    *And by “Live Free” we mean only do things that we find palatable and acceptable. That means no dirty buttsecks for you, homosexual deviants.

    1. Instead of denouncing her statement, maybe people should send in their personal testimonials in support of penises wiggling around in various orifices.

  27. Judy L – thanks for that tidbit of info, tell me more about yourself – I’m intrigued – any pics?

      1. Xopher – c’mon – I’m just playing

        He is really sensitive about that stuff though. He caught me talking to another woman late one night a few months ago and he was So so mad – all is well at the Hale house now – thank goodness my mid life crisis only lasted a few months.
        Have you talked with him recently? He’s been going out with a few friends recently, all but 1 gay, and is being secretive about what he’s doing.

        1. I’m teasing too. And I’ve never said ANYTHING to him about anything you’ve said here. He knows we’re acquainted here, that’s it.

          Last I heard he had a new girlfriend. That’s all I know (except that he appears to like the new one better than the old one).

  28. She reminds me of those people that try and get songs banned because they are lewd or about using drugs. Yet they have never actually listened to the song. Sort of like when they were up in arms about Afroman’s Because I Got High (a song about the dangers of drug use). Then they turn around and dance to the Marcarena (a song about having sex with her boyfriends best friend while he is away on vacation) during their campaigns. It just shows how ignorant these people are. If they took the time to actually understand what they were arguing may be they wouldn’t look like complete douches.

    1. “If they took the time to actually understand what they were arguing may be they wouldn’t look like complete douches.”

      I suspect they still would. There are infinite ways in which politicians can look like complete douches, and this is just one of them.

  29. Ahh if she did her research, she’d find that about 40% of STRAIGHT americans have tried anal sex (SODOMY). and I dunno about 20% do it fairly regularly. And whats more surprising is that straight people are less likely to use a condom when wiggling their penises around in excrement. Most of the straight guys I’ve talked to have said “Yeah I’d love to stick it in there but she won’t let me”. or some variation of that. So, Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it I say.

  30. Well, I guess if I were from, uh, district 19 in the incredibly populous state of New Hampshire, I’d be concerned. But I’m from district 11, you see. And around these parts we know there’s more to sex than a little “wiggling around”. :D

  31. Well. . . . I have had it done to me. And I thought it was absolutely normal. Just another Tuesday.

  32. Someone should point her over to /b/ at 4chan…cause EVERYTHING is normal on there.

    And I mean “normal” as in rule 34 normal….

    (Of course according to any major source of porn on the internet and perhaps real life, buttsecks is an enjoyable and rampant thing. But then again I’m not going to say that porn is based in/on any amount of reality.)

  33. As a proud resident of New Hampshire — where people actually understand what true libertarianism is all about (not that Tea Party Christian BS) — I am happy to report that, despite Ms. Elliott’s personal fantasies, the overall consensus around the statehouse is that there is ZERO chance of a repeal of the law that made same sex marriage legal in our state.

    Now, if you’ll excuse me, it’s getting late and the comments from this post has my wife a bit giggly — reminding her that it’s been a while since we’ve partaken in our own wiggling about…

  34. I never considered anal sex until I just heard it described so lusciously by Nancy Elliott.

    Nancy Elliott has turned me gay!!!

  35. “Would I allow that to happen to me?”

    Well, I guess that explains all the “business trips” her husband goes on.

  36. My analecdotal evidence leads me to believe that the anti-gay crowd spends more time thinking about gay secks than anyone else, gay or straight.

  37. “The fact that the other legislators (?) sitting to either side of her manage to keep complete stone faces is amazing.”

    H’mmm. I couldn’t POSSIBLY guess why. Unless…Both of them? ALL of them in the room, except her? Aghhh! I’m SURROUNDED by PERRVs! Turdpokers!

  38. Man, these right-wing anti-gay legislators are disturbingly obsessed with anal sex.

    Maybe we shouldn’t be letting THEM get married.

  39. All the people who whine about gays wanting to “destroy the institution of marriage” never give much consideration to the divorce rate among Christians. It’s around 50%, same as the non-Christian population. Not to mention that the Christian Right keeps touting blatant adulterers like McCain, Gingrich and Limbaugh as the saviors of the American family.

    1. I don’t see how it’s any worse than masturbating with excrement.

      I don’t think you’re any worse than shit either.

      You’re welcome.

  40. Oh noes! I don’t want buttsecks! I can I prevent this from happening?! Oh thats right maybe by not getting married to a gay person …or a girl that owns a strapon *rolleyes*
    Seriously, this is an elected official? The next American I see I’m going to hug and say how sorry I am their officials are such dumb asses.

  41. Besides the silliness, how exactly is denying gays the right to marry going to protect this woman from an act she finds distasteful? Conversely, how is gay marriage going to make it happen to her?

  42. THIS IS THE LEVEL OF DEBATE? Gay marriage should be banned because anal sex is gross?

    I think eating celery is gross but I don’t think it should be illegal.

  43. The expression on her face is priceless. She looks like a 5 year old who’s been asked where babies come from.

    “and then I got to thinking about it…”

    Innocence is cute on a five year old but kind of creepy on a 40 something.

  44. She’s right: I would never allow that to happen to me! But that’s only because I’m a top…

      1. I can’t really speak for any other top, but I prefer to think of myself as legendary instead of mythical. It’s a fine distinction….

  45. The way she describes it, it sounds like the penis is detachable. Maybe that’s the source of her discomfort.

  46. Perhaps it should be referred to Universal Marriage Rights and Universal Adoption and take the “Gay” right out. Some folks hear the word “gay” and their minds go right up the pooper.

    1. Perhaps it should be referred to Universal Marriage Rights and Universal Adoption and take the “Gay” right out.

      Actually, most of us on the Pro side call it “marriage equality,” not so much to take the ‘gay’ out as to point out that this is an issue of equal protection, and equality under the law.

      1. “Marriage Equality” a good term as well, and probably better than the mouthful I suggested. I wish it were used more in the media.

  47. No wonder these anti-gay sex folks are so angry — they’re walking around with asses full of shit all the time.

  48. Why is it opponents of homosexuality can only conceive of same sex couples having anal sex, not any other kind?

    This woman’s explanation of how anal sex works reminds me of Cartman’s explanation of how hetero sex works:

    “You get a boner, slap her titties around some and then stick it inside her and pee.Unless you don’t want to get her pregnant, then you pull it out and pee on her leg.”

    1. This is just part of a long line of “argumentation” that the crazies like to put out. Consider Concerned “Woman” for America Matt Barber’s approving comment that homosexual marriage sanctions “one man violently cramming his penis into another man’s lower intestine and calling it ‘love.'”

      In 1997, Redbook magazine (which one would hardly consider “liberal”) surveyed its readership and discovered that 12% of its audience enjoyed buttsecks on a recurring basis. At the same time, the Advocate found that 60% of gay men did the same. At the time, the population was 220 million. Take all other statistics (and use the conservative’s favorite that only 2.75% of the population is gay) and you find this:

      110 * .12 = 13.2 million women engage in receptive anal sex “on a somewhat recurring basis”

      110 * .0275 * .60 = 1.65 million homosexual men engage in receptive anal sex “on a somewhat recurring basis.”

      13.2 / 1.65 = 8. EIGHT TIMES as many women as gay men engage in anal sex. (Yeah, you can probably get me for rounding errors, and this ignores the ratio of partners, but hey, Deal.)

      Poor Nancy. She’s probably just sad she’s missing out.

  49. Ease up on her – really.

    The real chances of anyTHING wanting of its own volition to have ANY kind of sex with her is infinitesimally small, so one can see how she’d get really stupid ideas about sexual mechanics in general.

  50. I’m genuinely sad as well as rhetorically sad that there are people for whom the subject of marriage boils down to who does what with their genitals. If we ignored that issue for a minute can we agree that people who want to be together should be able to do so legally?
    I think we can.
    Okay, start thinking about fannies and boners again.
    Thank you.

  51. Oddly enough, she hit on the one argument that is really behind every homophobic remark: “I don’t like it because I think gay sex is icky!”

  52. Does this means two girls can marry without being hassled by outdated laws? It sounds like she doesn’t believe lesbians exist. Or maybe they’re just not icky, like the gay boys are…

  53. She didn’t say a word about face-sitting and just by looking at her face , you know she’s been to THAT rodeo a lot – just not with a human …………..

  54. I’m afraid someone on another site got the win on this. They said

    “Wriggling around in excrement” is what she gets when she pushes the cotton swab too far into her ear.

    Now you have to admit, that’s the win.

  55. Is it called excrement before it’s excreted?

    Finally! Something I might put in my “Something I can’t find using Google” box.

    1. Oh, please. This woman can’t tell the difference between thrusting and “wiggling around,” and you want her to make that kind of fine distinction? As well ask her to spell big words.

  56. I like the, “It could happen to you,” piece. Did she just say that allowing gay marriage will lead to more anal rape? Or is she just saying that marriage equality leads to more buttsecks for everyone?

    If I’m the Human Rights Campaign I am immediately switching the slogan from, “Justice For All,” to, “Come From Behind!”

  57. She should ask Rick Santorum. He’s the (former) Senate resident Republican sexpert on man on dog secks, and man on man secks. He was honored by having the frothy mixture of feces and lube and semen (Siemens?) from buttsecks named after him. Republican men, esp. family values ones, are big fans of the buttsecks and the pooper. Ask Vitter, Craig, and every other vocal pro-family christian republican out there.

  58. WHY is she even thinking about someone else’s sexual activities? When I came out to my brother, he said he didn’t want his little brother getting on his knees for another man. I asked him the same question: WHY are you even THINKING about your brother’s sex life? THAT’S sick! That pretty much shut him up.

    It’s not just about sex, people.

  59. Anyone else think of the Hokey Pokey song while she described this?

    “You put your P3nis in, you take your P3nis out, you put your PENIS! in and you “wiggle” it all about”.

    Proly just me.

    Oh, and my recaptcha was “Naturally scrunch”. There you go Representative Elliot, the captcha says it’s natural, you can all go back to your homes and “think” about something else now.

  60. I started thinking, and We’re talking about taking the sex life of consenting people and making it our our business to judge it and decide what they are allowed to do in their bedrooms and what not, and you have to think…. hmmm, not sure, would I allow that to happen to me?

    All of us: that could happen to you! Would you let that happen to you? Is that normal?

  61. PROPS TO #7!
    I was just reading that very part of the guide last night, and the same thought popped into my head. I’m glad to see a love of Adams pervailing!

  62. What kinda surprises me is how many people commenting are focused on her description of the act of gay dudes gettin it on, rather than the fallacious base of her argument.

    “hmmm, not sure, would I allow that to happen to me?” That ain’t the point Nancy, because the gays aren’t exactly proposing to buttsecks you. It’s each other they want to do it do, and because you’re not included in that group, you have nothing to worry about. Furthermore, there are people who want this to happen to them, so who are you to universally apply your squeamishness about what goes in the backdoor?

    Inasmuch as gay dudes or ladies gettin married won’t magically dissolve your marriage (ps: it’s your inability to try news things in bed, such as explorin the back-door), what the homosexuals are doing between the sheets does in no way affect what happens between your own. (though maybe you’ll learn something new if you pay attention)

    1. No no see. It isn’t that homosexuals are asking her “Can we has a session of buttsecks?” but more over she’s only saying this because her OWN (if she has one, cant find it on teh interwebz -_-) husband isn’t asking her for teh bootysecks.

      @Purly #147 That’s right, baby!

  63. It scares me that people who are trying to make our rules use buttsex as an argument in that descision. WTH has buttsex todo with gay mariage? It’s not like straight people get the question “do you guys like buttsex?” Yes: oh then you cant marry.

    And what about the lesbians btw? They dont have buttsex!

    Arggg sometimes I hate the idiots in this world.

    1. @131: “And what about the lesbians btw? They dont have buttsex!”

      O RLY? What makes you say that? Is it a concept of “sex” requiring a penis that is permanently attatched to its wielder? Because by that definition, I guess lesbians just can’t have sex at all, poor creatures. But if we define “sex” to include a variety of actions with which consenting adults can cause pleasure for each other, some lesbians certainly do have anal sex, just like some gay men and some straight folks and some other folks who don’t fit in any of those categories.
      Assholes are like opinions; everyone’s got one.

      deimors @ 128 has it, as well as everyone who mentioned that this is the elephant hiding behind every “pro-family”/anti-sex argument ever.

  64. this Nancy is disgusting. First, straight people have anal sex too. Third, it’s not like whatever laws are made, it’s going to stop two people having anal sex. Third, she says “Would I allow that be done to me?”, well she should be expelled from working for the government. She was asking a personal question and that should not be how the laws be created. The laws should be created to give fairness to everybody and more importantly, to protect people, not to tell them do or not do something “because the lawmakers personally don’t want that”. She should be fired, seriously fired.

  65. Hmmmm, let me think on this one…
    wait, what is normal? If you let your dog out of your sight for more than 2 minutes he or she will inevitably find some poop and rub itself in it. Is that normal? To a dog it is.

    Dolphins masturbate!

    Straight men want to have sex with women even when they are bleeding for 4 to 5 days, is that normal? Getting blood all over your penis?

    Everything we do as humans is technically disgusting, so why are we trying to make a case based off of what SOME heterosexuals think is normal. Because these same male or female heterosexuals put things in their mouth that aren’t normal.

  66. The problem with her argument is that she presumes sex happens only after marriage. Sure everything else is wrong too, but the crux is if you can stop people from marrying you can stop them from having secks. Which makes me wonder if she would legislate for marriage only between virgins.

  67. About a third of heterosexual couples in Britain are thought to use anal sex as an occasional method of sexual expression, with about 10% using it as a preferred or regular method.

    You mean to say that I’m on the wrong side of the ocean!

  68. Yeah… Marriage =/= sex. Heterosexual and Homosexual people have sex outside of marriage all the time in North America, marriage is about commitment, and hopefully about love.

    In other words- teh butsekz will occur wether they are allowed to marry or not so just give them the same right to “pursuit of happiness” that everyone else enjoys already. Sheesh.

  69. As I often have to point out, to a rational person, this is silly and obvious. But people in charge are not necessarily rational.

  70. Oh, so lulzy!

    The deep agony of listening to her try and explain anal sex was immediately offset by the brilliance and hilarity of the comments. Good work.

  71. Algernon Charles Swinburne put it thus:

    There was a young girl of Aberystwith
    Took grain to the mill to get grist with
    Where the miller’s son Jack
    Laid her flat on her back
    And united the organs they pissed with.

  72. ROFL! If she thinks that’s how any sex works, her parts must be really shriveled up and wrinkled from not having been used since the dark ages. I’d be bitter too if I couldn’t even remember what good sex resembled. God help me. I never want to get that old. Shoot me now!

  73. The comments below are intentioned as “allegedly” – hence the quotation marks (“”). I’m from the UK, and defamation of character is a very serious matter in our courts (Millions of £ Pounds might be involved in litigation). That’s not to say that the USA doesn’t treat “it” any differenly, I honestly don’t know… I don’t want “my ass being sued” – I need to experience something wriggling inside it first – lmfao!

    “She’s just jealous because she hasn’t experienced it! Plus what sane man would want to, with her? lmfao!
    “Bless her cotton socks” – I think she could “do with” a colonic irrigation, given the sh** she’s talking. But “God forbid” that the tubes might wriggle around a bit….. ”

  74. Wow. Taking the penis of one man and inserting it — wait, is she talking about castrating one man and — ewwwwww!!!! She’s just disgusting!

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