Great Moments in Pedantry: Analyzing blackboards from school-themed porn

There is now an entire blog dedicated to looking at what is written on the blackboard in the background of naughty schoolgirl porn films, and evaluating it for accuracy and grade level of information. God, I love the Internet.

Here's what Blackboards in Porn had to say about the photo above.

AFTER SCHOOL:

- math

1 + 1 = 2

1*

Mathematics - university/nursery school level.

This is clearly an extremely advanced level mathematical course, focusing on the Peano axioms for the natural numbers which formalised mathematics in the late 19th century. This course would culminate with Gödel's second incompleteness theorem which shows that the consitency of the Peano axioms cannot be formalised within Peano arithmetic itself.

Alternatively, it could be that the pupil, even at her advanced age, hasn't grasped that 1 + 1 = 2, and that all the after school one-to-one lessons in the world aren't going to work. Indeed, she probably won't even understand what 'one-to-one' means.

8/10 - loses two marks for 'math'.

Disclaimer: The blog is safe for work, in so much as there is no nudity. However, it is somewhat astounding how easy it is to look at a photo of a room full of fully clothed people and know, immediately, that said photo is a still from a porn. Make of that what you will.

Via Wired. Thanks to Joel!

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  1. Well, Great Truths often have to be presented in marginal media because the general public isn’t ready for them.  It is not surprising then, that some ground breaking theoreticians have to publish in this way.

    1. Or at least some reasonably smart people looking for some small piece of solace as they wonder what mistakes brought them to creating porn sets.

  2. However, it is somewhat astounding how easy it is to look at a photo of a room full of fully clothed people and know, immediately, that said photo is a still from a porn.

    … or really crappy stock images.

  3. After perusing the blog. . .  for purely educational purposes. . .  I’m actually rather impressed with the restraint shown with regard to really bad double entendres on these blackboards.

    I would have thought there’d be more students kept after school to get a better grasp of Dickens. . .  or Longfellow. . .

    1. Yes, it’s not that there are so few double-entendres, but so many.  Once you start noticing things like the Hairy Ball theorem or the double-slit experiment, your mind will never be right again, trust me.

  4. Ah ha!  Finally an untapped niche!  Coming soon – a blog dedicated to the blackboards of naughty school-boy porn!  I’m made!!

  5. What I find more interesting is the lozenge shape on the blackboard. Especially featuring the vertical streak (the asterisk somewhat superfluous). Sometimes That shape is generally used as a abstraction of the female genitalia where I come from (central Europe). While instantly recognized (and smirked upon) by Czechs, Slovaks and the Polish, it is completely ignored by the rest of the world. Maybe just coincidence, maybe hints at the origin of this porn picture.

    1. I’m from California where the age of consent is 18, but unless I’m mistaken, the age of consent in most US states and the rest of the world is 16 and from the screenshots, these school-themed pornos seem depict older high school adolescents and college students, not children.

    2. More a problem that parts of the world insist on treating anyone below the age of adult (a very random line in the sand if i have ever seen one) as if they where 6-7. This include dressing what is a body advertising fertility up in various wardrobes shared with people almost half their age.

    3. Let consenting adults have whatever fantasies they want.  I personally consider such fantasies to be not appealing to me. I suspect part of that lack of appeal comes from the fact that I actually have taught. 

      But people are welcome to have their fantasies. There’s no good reason to think this will actually increase the likelyhood of harm to anyone. And there’s really no reason to think this will substantially increase the likelyhood of harm to anyone.  Moreover, as far as I can tell from the images, most of the people depicted are old enough that any claim that this has anything to do with pedophilia is clearly false. 

      Having some humor about it also isn’t “patronage”. The makers of the porn aren’t getting paid for it at all. If anything this is the exact opposite, since it takes something which would be sexualized and pulls it into the realm of obnoxious, nitpicking pedantry. 

      It is ok to laugh even about things which sometimes touch on taboos and disturbing subjects. Really. 

      1. Oh, yes- the subjugation, sexualization and abuse of women is hilaaaarious (as long as it’s not you, amirite?). /s

        1. Unless you have any evidence of force being used, there’s no “abuse” here. I’m really sick of those patronizing attitudes who try to demean and deny these women’s right of self-determination by portraying them as helpless victims who need to be saved.

          Who the fuck are you to decide for them if they’re being abused?

    4. I always thought the situation was used more as a convenient manifestation of a power dynamic, which, while not universal, is a definite component of either sexual experience or fantasy.  I dont think anything pedophiliac was meant at all.

  6. “However, it is somewhat astounding how easy it is to look at a photo of a
    room full of fully clothed people and know, immediately, that said
    photo is a still from a porn.”

    Choice of dress, postures, makeup and “actors”?

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