By Cory Doctorow at 2:30 pm Wed, Nov 30, 2011
Holy crap that's a shiny floor.
I bet it’s an absolute blast to walk on while wearing socks.
My mother’s cousin (who lived in Toronto no less) had an orange kitchen floor which she waxed every day. We stayed with them. She really stripped and waxed it every day. She should have switched to Congoleum.
Do you know how many war crimes and other atrocities are committed every day to bring you that Congoleum?
Absolutely! I was a mercenary for DowMonsantoArmstrong in those days. They go down to the Congo and strip out all the Leums without even asking!!!
Those floors won’t be so shiny after people take one look at them and barf. The red/blue square/circle pattern is almost vertigo inducing.
My theory is that Big Lapels were in during the 1970’s expressly for the purpose of blotting vomit off one’s lips.
It’s covered in Propulsion Gel!
That floor needs this computer.
It’s a good thing that her house is computerized, because it doesn’t look like she could move around much in that dress.
That’s not a dress, it’s an extra long apron. It is a kitchen, after all.
It doesn’t need wax because it IS wax.
The poor woman is obviously so taken aback by the orange shine that shd dare not set foot on it. She perches on the edge, as though afraid she’ll slide right off!
Interior decorators not only don’t like talking about the 1970s, they don’t admit they happened.
You could not be more correct, Stephan.
Don’t admit what happened?
wow they had bump mapping then? ;)
Should be renamed “Congealeum”
Damn, beat me to it.
Was there some sort of colour blindness plague with a Klingonesque “we don’t talk about it with subsequent generations” taboo?
The dog is lucky. He can only see a tasteful grayscale pattern.
Saarinen ripoffs, fwiw…
Lovely handset type on the main head, which ripples up and down across the page…
And isn’t that Cybil Shepard??
i believe you’re right…. that IS cybil shepard!
Looks like Time Traveler Laura Linney to me.
A huge Congoleum production facility is one of those sad, abandoned industrial sites you pass riding Amtrak between Philadelphia and DC:
The abandoned industrial buildings along that corridor are so intriguing. If only America’s thirst for shiny orange flooring had not been long sated our manufacturing sector would be that much stronger.
Oh really now, they could have got some real Eero Tulip chairs, not some horrid knock offs.
Anyone have a floor zester?
Forget shiny, holy CRAP that’s an ORANGE floor
Poor woman. She’s slipped on that friction-free surface, and is obviously unable to stand up again in those boots.
Is it so wrong that I want that orange floor? Love it!
I think it’s wrong that I want the patterned one. It would only work over a very small area … but it would be pretty fabulous in an otherwise super-modern, super-white space.
i grew UP in the 70s, and even *i* think those floors are cool. you haters don’t know what you’re talking about. there was MUCH worse stuff back then.
Yes, like my green and yellow plaid Tuffskins. I still laugh over that picture.
Floor waxing is part of my job. For a great, durable shine, we do 10 coats of Trilogy Systems North Star High Solids finish, burnishing after every 3 coats and 4 burnishes when it’s done. It’ll last a year, but taking it off requires a 20 HP power scrubber and chemicals you don’t want to think about. That’s waxing.
The patterned floor is identified by the ad copy as being red, white, and blue — so I suspect the shiny orange floor is actually a shiny red floor. I can’t decide whether red or orange would be more awesome.
Actually, I think a super-shiny candy pink floor might be the most awesome.
It’s hot lava! Walk on the furniture! Don’t fall off!
Ah, back in the days when plastic wasn’t ashamed to look like plastic.
This was our kitchen counter growing up:
A woman that I know bought a moderately significant mid-century house and ripped out the new granite kitchen so that she could restore it to its previous formica glory. It looked much better with the formica.
After 2 years of that dog rubbing his ass on it, it won’t be shiny and it will never be properly cleaned and waxed. That’s what happened to the 70s.
Just look at it.
As the owner (renter) of a solid colored linoleum floor, I must say AVOID AVOID AVOID. It shows the dirt like crazy.
I’ve been thinking about giving it a proper wax (wash with ammonia, wax, buff) for a few years but haven’t been able to bring myself to actually do it. I don’t think it will help the ‘shows every speck of dirt’ issue, anyways.
“Why you are looking queasy, Daniel-San ?”
I actually find that color scheme bizarrely attractive, I’m not sure why. Perhaps I was meant to grow to adulthood during the ’70s :P Or perhaps it’s just the cheeriness of it all that’s so appealing.
Oh my…I actually remember seeing that ad…way back when. Good gawd I’m old.
Anyway…yes, the top floor looks like an incredibly shiny orange-rind.
The lower floor…something that would send someone with a nauseous stomach running to the bathroom. Nice pattern in small doses…but a floor?
Yes, I do believe that is Cybil Shepard…and as to the ‘dress comment’…I’m pretty sure she’s wearing trousers.
My issue…who the hell covers their books in white paper?
I have a no-wax floor at home too. It´s made out of wood and I don´t wax it.
When I moved into my 1800s cottage here in Dorset the old floors were gone, and once I chucked the viled carpets I was left with a hardboard skin over chipboard. I had no money so painted it with orange gloss paint and I have to say it was utterly fabulous with yellow walls and wooden furniture. And gloss paint needs no waxing either. Now replaced with grown-up solid hardwood, but this brought back fond memories. Also I think in the early 70s when I was about 8 I had a dress in the exact same pattern as the other floor. And I looked utterly fabulous.
The orange is a bit garish, but then orange always is. A solid-color, shiny floor like that in a more tasteful color would look really cool, I think (and I love KimberlyClarke’s idea of just painting the floor!)
I really do love the pattern on the left – and it’s not unlike some of the more adventurous fabric patterns you can sometimes find at Ikea these days.
That’s not just any orange, that’s burnt orange! Along with harvest gold, avocado and the lesser known chocolate brown, burnt orange is one of the four colors of the 1970s.
Interior desecration at its finest.
It’ll be fun when that dog goes running across the floor and slides into the dinette set.
Congoleum used to love them some saturation when it came to colors back then.
It looks like a raised pool of beans. I expect Anne Margret to emerge and throw Tommy through the mirror.
What on earth do they mean “one-way floor”?
/just barely too young to remember the seventies
Back in the day, if you didn’t have wall-to-wall carpeting, you had floors that needed mopping and waxing to retain that fine shine. I still remember having to wax and buff our barracks floors every day before going off to classes. Боже мой!
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