Kickstopper: paying Hollywood studios to cease dumb franchise production

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33 Responses to “Kickstopper: paying Hollywood studios to cease dumb franchise production”

  1. angusm says:

    “We pay farmers not to farm, but we cannot pay artists not to produce art. Yet something must be done.” — Jacques Barzun

  2. Jellodyne says:

    I’ve got $25 to help kill the Total Recall reboot!

    • angusm says:

      I feel a business model coming on. Call it a protection racket, call it what you like, but unless I see some dollars now, my proposal for a remake of “Casablanca” starring Justin Bieber and Snooki is going to be landing on agents’ desks on Monday morning. Still not convinced? Did I mention that it’s in 3D? Directed by Michael Bay? With a chorus of singing CGI chipmunks?

      That’s more like it. I knew you’d all see reason eventually.

      • Chuck says:

        “Leave $20 million in unmarked bills by the swing set, or the Uno movie gets green-lighted.”

      • PathogenAntifreeze says:

        They already did the remake of Casablanca… it starred Pamela Anderson and was titled Barb Wire.  I am not kidding… the plot is a 100% direct rip.

        And the Munsters reboot happened already… it was titled Munsters today.  Thoroughly terrible.

  3. Ramone says:

    And yet I’d totally pay to see a movie of “Settlers of Catan”.

  4. Art says:

    Very funny piece!  :)

  5. turdfergsn says:

    Remotely along the same lines but wouldn’t it be nice if we could vote AGAINST a political candidate instead of voting for the least objectionable?  It would definitely send a message without changing the outcome of the election.

    • Mitchell Glaser says:

      Even better: since the Citizens United decision has very nearly turned the political process into a fundraising contest, why don’t we take advantage of it? Whichever candidate can raise the most money wins the election, but all the money goes to public programs and charities.

  6. EH says:

    Some years ago Chunklet magazine had a contest to determine which band they should pay to break up.

    http://chunklet.com/index.cfm?section=magazine&IssueID=6

  7. I propose that “Kickstopper” involve actual kicking.

  8. primgoo says:

    I think this could actually work! The money raised wouldn’t go to the producers, of course. It would go to a charity or to charities. The producers would only get a healthy portion of shame.

  9. flowergardenslayer says:

    I feel obligated to point out that Clue the Movie is probably one of the best movies ever made.  Seriously.  Very funny, lots of intrigue, and it’s clearly based on the board game.

  10. SomeGuyNamedMark says:

    Just wait until they come out with “Kickstoppers, The Movie”

  11. GawainLavers says:

    But what’s the stoppage mechanism?  Are we hiring assassins?

    Because I’d totally pay for that.

  12. SomeGuyNamedMark says:

    Can they do Retroactive Kickstoppers?  They could undo Lucas’ changes to Star Wars

  13. PathogenAntifreeze says:

    They already did the remake of Casablanca… it starred Pamela Anderson and was titled Barb Wire.  I am not kidding… the plot is a 100% direct rip.

    And the Munsters reboot happened already… it was titled Munsters today.  Thoroughly terrible.

    • Antinous / Moderator says:

      And the Munsters reboot happened already… it was titled Munsters today.

      I was thinking about why the Munsters sounds like a terrible idea, but Dark Shadows sounds like a pretty good one.  Probably because DS hasn’t been seen by everyone on the planet because it hasn’t been in non-stop syndication for 45 years.  Plus it has story arcs rather than a series of single episodes that all have essentially the same plot based on essentially the same joke premise.

  14. Doug Nelson says:

    Nice mythology, Captain. It would be a shame if someone (knocks ashtray off desk)…rebooted it.

  15. Linley Lee says:

    Meh.  Let them make the movies they want, no one is forcing me to watch them.  And this could come back to bite you in the arse when the next film stopped is one you would have liked to see.

  16. Joe Buck says:

    Too Much Coffee Man has run the same joke (the “hero” asks people to pay money to get him to stop writing a book).  I saw the strip in print, couldn’t find it online with a quick search though it may be around somewhere. It was called KickStopper there too.

  17. oasisob1 says:

    Crowdfund to buy the rights to whatever it is you don’t want to see.

  18. benher says:

    Maybe they can stop a white washed Akira taking place in “Neo New York” featuring anglo-aktors with Japanese names.

  19. umbriel says:

    Kovalic has a good idea, but game-wise, I’d pay to see “Munchkin: The Movie”.

  20. GeorgeMokray says:

    At the recent Contact Summit in NYC one of the ideas was also called Kickstopper, only this time it related to a way to organize debt and mortgage strikes the way people sometimes organize rent strikes (with money in escrow).

  21. License Farm says:

    @boingboing-0a300c0afd32cc7b1e6b6ba6f673e465:disqus I was at Contact, too, so my ears pricked upwhen I saw this. I think both concepts are sound. But personally, I think the idea should be called “KickSTAND,” as in taking a stand on an issue.

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