Gilbert Gottfried reads erotic best-seller "Fifty Shades of Grey"

Were I anatomically capable of having a boner, Gilbert Gottfried's reading of the best-selling erotic novel Fifty Shades of Grey would kill it dead. Forever. (collegehumor.com)

Boing Boing editor/partner and tech culture journalist Xeni Jardin hosts and produces Boing Boing's in-flight TV channel on Virgin America airlines (#10 on the dial), and writes about living with breast cancer. Diagnosed in 2011. @xeni on Twitter. email: xeni@boingboing.net.

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Antinous / Moderator

Gilbert Gottfried is a master of erotica. NSFW
Bonnie Ash

Grampa Simpson: Unsatisfying sex life?
Homer: N — yes. But please, don’t you say that word!
Grampa Simpson: What, seeex? What’s so unappealing about hearing your elderly father talk about sex? I had seeeeex.

ALSO from Abe Simpson:
Dear Advertisers,
I am disgusted with the way old people are depicted on television. We are not all vibrant, fun-loving, sex-maniacs. Many of us are bitter, resentful individuals who remember the good old days when entertainment was bland and inoffensive. The following is a list of words I never want to hear on television again: 1. Bra; 2. Horny; 3. Family Jewels
beepbeep

It took me quite a long time to ‘get’ Gilbert Gottfried. He is a master. Possibly in more ways than one…..
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=749997097 Rosin Ffield

my mind is so dirty: i automatically read it as “Filthy Sahdes of Grey” :P
ocker3

Not sure I should make mention of anatomical changes experienced by women when aroused, lots of blood go places, it’s just not as obvious as in a guy.
- PNWchemist
  
  Indeed, ladyboners do exist.
msbpodcast

Gilbert Gottfried is indeed a master of cock blocking. You laugh too hard to even think about sex.
- chaopoiesis
  
  The technical term is “cognitive dissonance”.
Jaye Sunsurn

This is the internet… Rule 34 THERE IS SOMEONE THAT IS TURNED ON BY THIS! There was probably a usenet group for it back in the day alt.sex.erotica.read.by.gilbert.gottfried
voiceinthedistance

Seems like as good a reason as any to resurrect the Lysol douche. Just have to figure out which orifice to administer it through.
- http://mjfgates.myopenid.com/ mjfgates
  
  In this case, the hole left from your trepanation might be best.
http://nawel.tumblr.com Nawel

for a minute or so, when I saw it on Laughing Squid, I thought it was for real.
catherinecc

Is this is real voice or is he just trolling constantly?
- http://disqus.com/Kimmoth/ Kimmo
  
  What do you think?
  - Antinous / Moderator
    
    And I was planning to sleep tonight.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_UTAORC2LANQF2ONEFJYXBSITTA bingo

I would love the full version of this by GG. I certainly can’t keep a straight face now the next time I see some woman reading this on the plane (amazingly common recently for me).
chgoliz

Brilliant. It’s almost as if he created the character for this exact purpose.
jerwin

There’s something very special about the way Gottfried pronounces “clitoris.”
Lolotehe

I had a dream I found of copy of “Lake Woebegone Days” read by him.
Halloween_Jack

Fun fact: Gilbert Gottfried was part of the cast during the disastrous 1980 season of Saturday Night Live (actually, the same cast that introduced Eddie Murphy as well as Joe Piscopo), but apparently got very few appearances in sketches, which he may have been grateful for in the long run.
http://twitter.com/loptruna Elizabeth Vongvisith

Whenever I hear or read the word “clitoris” from now on, it’ll be in GG’s voice.