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Outdoor dining table with wind-resistant plate-recesses

Cory Doctorow at 2:41 pm Thu, Jul 26, 2012

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Marco Marotto and Paola Oliva's "Table Bye Bye Wind" is designed for outdoor eating, with recessed nooks for plates and cups that offer protection from the wind.

Table Bye Bye Wind par Marco Marotto et Paola Oliva (via Crib Candy)

I write books. My latest is a YA science fiction novel called Homeland (it's the sequel to Little Brother). More books: Rapture of the Nerds (a novel, with Charlie Stross); With a Little Help (short stories); and The Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow (novella and nonfic). I speak all over the place and I tweet and tumble, too.

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Ants and Stars: Bruce Sterling and Jasmina Tesanovic visit the Sardinia Radio Telescope in Italy

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  • hobomike

    Huh? If it’s that windy, I’ll just eat inside!

  • Guy Dawson

    If the wind is strong enough to blow a plate of food off the table do you really want to be out?

    Why not just spend a few bucks/quid on proper plates and cups?

    • malindrome

      Well, maybe in case of intermittent gusting?

  • Boundegar

    The English is having most awkward and unfamiliar.

  • SamLL

    What’s the cleaning procedure like? Usually we don’t have concavities in our eating furniture because it makes cleaning much more of a nuisance. Can you just garden-hose this thing off?

    • travtastic

      You could just make the recessed parts removable.

      • travtastic

        Or, buy a perfectly good plastic table and a full set of ceramic dishes on Craigslist for a quarter of what this would probably cost.

        • Gimlet_eye

          Or make a series of inverted-V windbreak things that you set on any table. And they nest for storage! Available in six different designs! Order now and we will throw in a second set for FREE!

  • Antinous / Moderator

    It looks like it would be the perfect gift for a haruspex.

  • chilero

    How about just not using paper plates.

  • Grok

    This idea will sink like a stone.

  • Teller

    Now I can spit in the eye of the greybeards ’rounding the Horn.

  • http://lemoutan.blogspot.com/ Lemoutan

    Sometimes alfresco food’s so dull you’re hoping it will blow away.

  • Bender

    They forgot to make recessed utensil holes! I hate it when my knives blow away. 

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/VNTTBNVPN7HMRJLO6GIJZVMVSU Bram

    I somehow doubt that the aerodynamics actually work out…the plate depressions might even make things worse.  And what happens to your napkin?  But at least your drink won’t spill.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=10141231 Andrew Glines

      Exactly!  WHAT ABOUT THE NAPKIN.  Design fail.

      • http://twitter.com/fossilfuels Funk Daddy

        Back of the chair. Also room for a tiny set of pruning shears, a poncho, a trendy magazine, your smokes, and a derringer if you play cards after dinner.

    • http://www.jimdraws.com Thorzdad

       ”I somehow doubt that the aerodynamics actually work out…the plate depressions might even make things worse.”

      I was thinking the same thing. Wind blowing across the depressions could possibly create a low-pressure pocket, which would act to suck the plate up from the pit.

      The planters at the corners are…unique. I suppose you fill them with dirt in order to further weight the table down for the really hard winds?

    • jahxman

      IANAAE (I am not an Aeronautical Engineer) but I agree – those plate recesses might actually make things worse above a certain wind speed, because they will tend to create areas of lower pressure directly above the plates. Better would be to design plates that sloped down at their edges to the table surface, rather than change the table. Or use heavy plates. The cup holders will work ok, though.

      hmmm, criticism is fun! How about some way to have a picnic in a sandstorm? That’s a problem needing solving, isn’t it?

  • http://illustratorhints.com/ Jesseham

    Yeah, but how will they keep my lettuce from blowing away?

  • HeatherB

    After many years of living in southeastern NM and experiencing more wind storms then rainy days I can tell you this won’t work. 

  • Donald Petersen

    I think I’d prefer wee antiaircraft emplacements in the corners.  Alfresco dining in Southern California doesn’t usually mean wind is a problem (except during Santa Ana season, when you’re more likely to be hosing down your roof or evacuating than eating), but flies and yellowjackets can really put a damper on the picnic.

    • Teller

      My greatest purchase, other than my Russian wife, has been those battery-operated racket-shaped bug zappers. The yellow jackets fry on ‘em. A cheap delight.

  • BombBlastLightingWaltz

    Love the Chinglish descriptive notation.

    Sure. We all use that sorts of expressions in daily life. Once unfortunate experience was in the presence of high action wind. Permitted were chairs and plates that fluctuated with ground pressure turbulence. A most unfortunate outcome  for the daily par take. 

    English users writing or speaking Chinese must have equally humourous out comes.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Dave-Bradbury/1257697853 Dave Bradbury

    It’s polite to excuse yourself when having the main problem of wind…

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/2UVM5RXZ2T2BPCYV2BJGYAXTOQ Ricky

    /mosquito larvae touch tank

  • dilinger

    Wind?  Who cares about wind?  This looks perfect for keeping infants and toddlers  (or really anyone with poor motor control skills) from grabbing and dropping your plate off the table..

  • UhhhClem

    When I want a piece of furniture, I look for one that can be used in exactly one way.  This one’s perfect.  When I have five for lunch, or it’s not windy, or if we want to play cards, I’ll use one of the many other tables I own that were designed specifically for the purpose.  Yes, my house looks sort of like the aircraft graveyard in Arizona, only with outdoor dining tables.

  • AllyPally

    I hope there are drain holes in the recesses.

    • jahxman

      perfect for breeding mosquitoes in the rainy season!

  • http://glitch.tl/ Michael Smith

    I have been on a ship which listed enough for every plate in the dining room to fall off the tables and slide towards one wall. Something like this would have come in handy.

    • Donald Petersen

      I’ve seen similar setups in the mess hall of the USS Schofield (FFG-3) back in the early 80s.  Can’t remember if they also employed magnetic cutlery and flatware.

  • modrob

    Artist Andrea Zittel did this in 1993.
    http://www.zittel.org/works_horizontal.php?a_id=25

  • Fred Cairns

    That still doesn’t deal with the problem of smell… 

  • http://singedrac.livejournal.com Singe

    Uh… have they actually put this through wind tunnel tests or at least some CFD sims? If not, worthless. Also, have they done it WITH FOOD on the plates rather than just the ‘unladen’ set?

  • gedsudski

    Marco??? …. Paola!!!!….. Marco?…… Paola!