Outdoor dining table with wind-resistant plate-recesses

Discuss

36 Responses to “Outdoor dining table with wind-resistant plate-recesses”

  1. hobomike says:

    Huh? If it’s that windy, I’ll just eat inside!

  2. Guy Dawson says:

    If the wind is strong enough to blow a plate of food off the table do you really want to be out?

    Why not just spend a few bucks/quid on proper plates and cups?

  3. Boundegar says:

    The English is having most awkward and unfamiliar.

  4. SamLL says:

    What’s the cleaning procedure like? Usually we don’t have concavities in our eating furniture because it makes cleaning much more of a nuisance. Can you just garden-hose this thing off?

    • travtastic says:

      You could just make the recessed parts removable.

      • travtastic says:

        Or, buy a perfectly good plastic table and a full set of ceramic dishes on Craigslist for a quarter of what this would probably cost.

        • Gimlet_eye says:

          Or make a series of inverted-V windbreak things that you set on any table. And they nest for storage! Available in six different designs! Order now and we will throw in a second set for FREE!

  5. Antinous / Moderator says:

    It looks like it would be the perfect gift for a haruspex.

  6. chilero says:

    How about just not using paper plates.

  7. Grok says:

    This idea will sink like a stone.

  8. Teller says:

    Now I can spit in the eye of the greybeards ’rounding the Horn.

  9. Lemoutan says:

    Sometimes alfresco food’s so dull you’re hoping it will blow away.

  10. Bender says:

    They forgot to make recessed utensil holes! I hate it when my knives blow away. 

  11. Bram says:

    I somehow doubt that the aerodynamics actually work out…the plate depressions might even make things worse.  And what happens to your napkin?  But at least your drink won’t spill.

    • Exactly!  WHAT ABOUT THE NAPKIN.  Design fail.

      • Funk Daddy says:

        Back of the chair. Also room for a tiny set of pruning shears, a poncho, a trendy magazine, your smokes, and a derringer if you play cards after dinner.

    • Thorzdad says:

       “I somehow doubt that the aerodynamics actually work out…the plate depressions might even make things worse.”

      I was thinking the same thing. Wind blowing across the depressions could possibly create a low-pressure pocket, which would act to suck the plate up from the pit.

      The planters at the corners are…unique. I suppose you fill them with dirt in order to further weight the table down for the really hard winds?

    • jahxman says:

      IANAAE (I am not an Aeronautical Engineer) but I agree – those plate recesses might actually make things worse above a certain wind speed, because they will tend to create areas of lower pressure directly above the plates. Better would be to design plates that sloped down at their edges to the table surface, rather than change the table. Or use heavy plates. The cup holders will work ok, though.

      hmmm, criticism is fun! How about some way to have a picnic in a sandstorm? That’s a problem needing solving, isn’t it?

  12. Jesseham says:

    Yeah, but how will they keep my lettuce from blowing away?

  13. HeatherB says:

    After many years of living in southeastern NM and experiencing more wind storms then rainy days I can tell you this won’t work. 

  14. Donald Petersen says:

    I think I’d prefer wee antiaircraft emplacements in the corners.  Alfresco dining in Southern California doesn’t usually mean wind is a problem (except during Santa Ana season, when you’re more likely to be hosing down your roof or evacuating than eating), but flies and yellowjackets can really put a damper on the picnic.

    • Teller says:

      My greatest purchase, other than my Russian wife, has been those battery-operated racket-shaped bug zappers. The yellow jackets fry on ‘em. A cheap delight.

  15. BombBlastLightingWaltz says:

    Love the Chinglish descriptive notation.

    Sure. We all use that sorts of expressions in daily life. Once unfortunate experience was in the presence of high action wind. Permitted were chairs and plates that fluctuated with ground pressure turbulence. A most unfortunate outcome  for the daily par take. 

    English users writing or speaking Chinese must have equally humourous out comes.

  16. It’s polite to excuse yourself when having the main problem of wind…

  17. Ricky says:

    /mosquito larvae touch tank

  18. dilinger says:

    Wind?  Who cares about wind?  This looks perfect for keeping infants and toddlers  (or really anyone with poor motor control skills) from grabbing and dropping your plate off the table..

  19. UhhhClem says:

    When I want a piece of furniture, I look for one that can be used in exactly one way.  This one’s perfect.  When I have five for lunch, or it’s not windy, or if we want to play cards, I’ll use one of the many other tables I own that were designed specifically for the purpose.  Yes, my house looks sort of like the aircraft graveyard in Arizona, only with outdoor dining tables.

  20. AllyPally says:

    I hope there are drain holes in the recesses.

  21. I have been on a ship which listed enough for every plate in the dining room to fall off the tables and slide towards one wall. Something like this would have come in handy.

    • Donald Petersen says:

      I’ve seen similar setups in the mess hall of the USS Schofield (FFG-3) back in the early 80s.  Can’t remember if they also employed magnetic cutlery and flatware.

  22. modrob says:

    Artist Andrea Zittel did this in 1993.
    http://www.zittel.org/works_horizontal.php?a_id=25

  23. Fred Cairns says:

    That still doesn’t deal with the problem of smell… 

  24. Singe says:

    Uh… have they actually put this through wind tunnel tests or at least some CFD sims? If not, worthless. Also, have they done it WITH FOOD on the plates rather than just the ‘unladen’ set?

  25. gedsudski says:

    Marco??? …. Paola!!!!….. Marco?…… Paola!

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