Theses distilled to one (snarky) sentence

Lol My Thesis invites PhD candidates to submit snarky, one-sentence summaries of their theses ("Female condoms are cool. Also, Foucault." -- Anthropology, Brown; "We dug a lot of holes and still don’t know if measuring beryllium in dirt is useful, but it does cost a lot of money." --Geology, Amherst College). This is surprisingly funny. Feel free to summarize your term papers, theses, and dissertations in the comments.

Let’s apply anthropological theories to LDS missionary efforts, and, in the process, probably offend some people with our analysis. -- Anthropology, Grinnell College

A mathematical theory of discarding irrelevant crap when making a team decision. -- Electrical Engineering, Stanford University

The only time when DC Comics was not bad at female characters was when they had none. -- History, Dominican University of California.

The way fire risk at nuclear plants is assessed is bad and we should feel bad. Also, someone please pay me to fix it. --Reliability Engineering, University of Maryland

Lol My Thesis (via JWZ)

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  1. My professor told me to make this really complicated molecule from a plant that might treat cancer using her favorite "elegant" synthesis reaction, which turned out to take three years of trying, was really messy, low yield and doesn't treat cancer anyway, but I got crystals to get an X-ray structure, so there's that.

  2. People rock at memorizing insecure passwords, but we already knew that.

    -- Psychology and Computer Science, Carleton University.

  3. apoxia says:

    It turns out there really aren't any accurate off-road predictors of on-road driving ability for cognitively impaired older adults; you just have to take them on an on-road driving assessment (and anyone that tells you otherwise is planning to sell you an expensive off-road assessment system).

    PhD Psychology, University of Canterbury.

  4. Shooting people makes them unhappy.

    --International Security, Tufts

  5. This may not be pretty, but it held your attention for more than 1.7 seconds, so there is that.

    MFA UCLA 1988

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