Excellent goals from an eight-year-old

This list of third-grade goals is presented by redditor Elbostonian as the work of his eight-year-old son. It's a rather ambitious document, but admirably so — an excellent mix of stupid body tricks, theoretical astrophysics, identity development, culinary adventure, and mystery.

1. Learn the gases pushed from Hyper novas

2. Drink 1 gallon of milk in 1 day without going to the bathroom

3. find if you are sent in a worm hole or traveling in time When Entering a black hole

4. Play COd with Ethan and Matthew

5. become a nerd

6. Eat a rack of ribs that is coverd in bacon

7. learn How to

Reaching for the stars. My son's goals for 3rd grade

(Thanks, Fipi Lele!)