"Despite" trailing behind all the other candidates and various Hollywood monsters in likability, Donald Trump has declared his intention to become the next president of the United States of America: "Ladies and gentlemen, I am officially running for president of the United States and we are going to make our country great again!"
Trump made the announcement at the eponymous Trump Tower in New York City.
"Our country is in serious trouble. We don't have victories anymore. We used to have victories, but we don't have them. When was the last time anybody saw us beating, let's say China in a trade deal?" he asked his supporters to open his remarks. "I beat China all the time. All the time."