Right-wing TV host Tucker Carlson spent much of his life pursuing the baby-in-a-bowtie look of America's most favored children of privilege. But now he's a man of the people, posing as a roughhanded workman in his shop [Time Magazine via Cody Johnston; the photo is by Gillian Laub]. Unfortunately for Tucker, neither he nor anyone in his entourage is aware workshops are places where activities take place, giving us this conspiciously clean, dustless, stainless environment that could be a window display at Pottery Barn.
There's a bottle of wood glue, small and full and dripless. An empty etsywood toolbox. A reel of duct tape hung on a woodworking bench, the place one uses duct tape.
There's the classic Folgers can full of random nuts and nails inherited from grandad, but this can is the thin plastic Folgers Gourmet Surpreme design currently on supermarket shelves.
A cluster of plainly unopened items from a 12-foot stretch of the woodfinishing aisle at Home Depot: two cans of the same color of Minwax (one large and one small), a can of tung oil and Watco danish oil, all angled toward the camera and neatly arranged. Two completely full boxes of large penny nails, one conspiciously torn but not torn open. Two new, unblemished Stanley tape measures (one large, with the sticker still on it, and one small). A Stanley brand emergency car starter, $70 at Home Depot.
Wardrobe: A nice plaid shirt, slip-on unlaced birkenstocks (perfect for the shop), a too-long belt tucked pubertally in on itself (also perfect for the shop) and Tucker's classic look of slightly perplexed discomfort.
There's barely a sharp in sight, though, but for a single decoratively-posed coping saw. ($9, Home Depot).
The only thing missing is a brand-new pair of Liberty overalls in this year's fashionable graphite gray, the denim crispy-hard and raw as a board, with a plastic adhesive strip hanging off it with the size.
But you can't get those at Home Depot. You have to go to Tractor Supply.
Previously in the conservative woodworking dream, recall Ben Shapiro carrying a large piece of common board in a small plastic bag.
