GOP congressman retires after publication of text asking "ISIS bride" mistress to rim his ass

Republican congressman Van Taylor will be stepping down this year after admitting to an affair. If this seems an overreaction for such a light offense, it turns out that he paid Tania Georgelas thousands of dollars to keep her quiet.

"About a year ago, I made a horrible mistake that has caused deep hurt and pain among those I love most in this world, I had an affair, it was wrong, and it was the greatest failure of my life. I want to apologize for the pain I have caused with my indiscretion, most of all to my wife Anne and our three daughters."

Moreover, Georgelas was married to an Islamic State commander [] and is described as an "ISIS bride" in tabloid coverage, albeit one who is now an outspoken critic of extremism. Here's some cold-cut revenge from Ilhan Omar, a democratic colleague of Taylor often falsely tarred with that brush:

Finally, the story has a last twist to get you slapping your knees and nopeing out of the tab: a text message from the congressman asking his mistress to rim his ass. [National File].

Bon appetit, Texas!