Realistic rubber feet

The two bullet points for the Belladonna Foot Soldiers [Amazon] makes clear all you need to know. First, it offers "astonishing details" in "realistic rubber," and second that there is one left foot, one right foot, and a free bottle of lube. [via The Worst Things For Sale]

Now you too can have your own set of Belladonna's exquisite feet to hold, fondle, love and caress. Live out your wildest fantasies with Belladonna.

The top review, alas, warns of a strong smell.

I’m not sure what it is, but the smell never goes away. This time I’m determined to see if it does. I’ve owned these for 6 years, and rarely take them out of the box. I can smell the material at least 6 feet away. It’s a shame, because they are beautifully detailed. I wish I knew the cause. I’ve throw them in nylons and will keep them out of the box as a last ditch effort to see if the scent mellows. Any suggestions would be appreciated. Though less life like, I prefer the Topco Justine Joli Cyberskin Foot Stroker.

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The gorgeous, grotesque animations of @Extraweg [NSFW-ish]

Extraweg (AKA Oliver Latta: Twitter, Youtube) is a superb and surreal animator whose computer rendered grotesques of human faces and forms writhing, merging, and doing the impossible are spellbindingly weird. Read the rest

America's most honest used car salesman explains AS-IS

Cash Cars in Kansas City will take very little cash for very crappy vehicles. They are sold AS-IS, and yet Desmound Logan here must still explain to customers that when you pay $3,000 for a Tahoe, you can take it on an extended test drive but you are not getting a warrantee.

"When you come to us, we are your last motherfuckin resort," says Logan.

In the following video, Logan presents a Cash Cars KC "You figure out what's wrong with it" special.

NSFW language throughout, y'all. Read the rest

Big Bill Hell's used cars

I was surprised to learn today that I've never posted the ad for Big Bill Hell's used cars in Baltimore. The omission is hereby rectified.

Previously in Baltimore: Man shouts 'Heil Hitler! Heil Trump!' in Baltimore theater during 'Fiddler on the Roof'

Previously in Cleveland: Read the rest

Animator David Firth rewards fans with Salad Fingers short after hitting 1m subscribers

David Firth's YouTube channel won its millionth subscriber this week, and our reward is a new short animation of Salad Fingers, his most splendid and notorious creation. Read the rest

"Halloween Whimsey" mask is "great for any costume party"

The "Halloween Whimsey 3D Latex Mask Head Mask for Party Cosplay Costume Prank Joking", available at Amazon, is this season's de rigeur trick-or-treat outfit.

• Great for Masquerade Parties, Costume Parties, Carnival, Christmas, Easter, Halloween or any other parties • Perfect for a fun meme, Halloween,Easter, Carnival, Costume parties, Tag party or simply for going to a night club. • Anyway, it will see plenty of use at times other than Halloween

"Anyway," the author trails off there. Yes, anyway. Plenty of use. Job interviews. Court dates. The opera!

This marvel was chanced upon by Julia Pugachevsky on Twitter: "THE EYES," she writes.

UPDATE: Combine this year's two most popular Halloween accessories in a single terrific costume!

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Incel, a disturbing short film about an "involuntary celibate"

This NSFW film examines a fictional incel named Sam, starting with his agonizingly tense interaction with a young woman and reaching a disturbing culmination. Read the rest

Pornography use increased when Fortnite crashed for 24 hours

The Journal of Behavioral Addictions found that when people can't play Fortnite they will masturbate.

In April 2018, the servers of the popular video game “Fortnite” crashed for 24 hr. During this period, Pornhub (a popular pornographic website) analyzed trends in pornography access, finding that: (a) the percentage of gamers accessing Pornhub increased by 10% and (b) the searches of pornographic videos using the key term “Fortnite” increased by 60%.

Image: vrcosplayx (NSFW)

[via new shelton wet/dry] Read the rest

Breasts aren't "boobs" or "titties" but rather "tiddies" or "titays"

"Titties" is a stupid word. It's so stupid and gross that some millennials are replacing it with even more ridiculous words like "tiddies" or "titays." Brilliantly funny MEL Magazine editor Alana Hope Levinson explores how "The Extremely Online are destroying language — one tiddy (or tity) at a time." From MEL:

I first started thinking about this when columnist merritt k wrote about the state of fake boobs and tried to get away with “tity” — with one “t” — throughout the entire draft. I thought it was a typo, but I was astounded to learn that merritt is on a one-woman crusade to make “tity” both the singular and plural.

Still, I thought merritt was a lone tity weirdo until I encountered “tiddies” in writer and designer Robyn Kanner’s draft on trolling Instagram’s nudity policy. “Tiddies” — apparently also the choice spelling of my bible, Jezebel — first appeared when Kanner was describing a scene in Garden State where Method Man asks Zach Braff, Peter Sarsgaard and Natalie Portman if they “saw some titties” at a strip club. In this case, Kanner was using the double d (lol) as a pronunciation spelling common in slang cause she thinks it “has more swagger.” “Titties with a ‘t’ is nice, but it just sounds like college boys talking about boobs,” she says. “Tiddies is ‘we are older, but we are recognizing we are making a joke about boobs.’” Because “titties” is so ridiculous, making it even more so somehow neutralizes the effect with comedy — or at least gives you some ironic distance.

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Naughty Tijuana Bible about Trump and Stormy

My friend Mitch O'Connell (that's O'Connell, the world's greatest artist, not McConnell, the invertebrate fascist symp), sent me a cache of Trump Tijuana Bibles, secreted in Tony Schwartz's 1987 book, The Art of the Deal.

Tijuana Bibles are little 8-panel pornographic comic books that were popular during the Great Depression, and usually starred famous comic strip characters, like Blondie, Popeye, Dick Tracy, and Mickey Mouse, engaging in all manner of carnal congress.

Mitch is selling copies from his stash of Donald Trump in "Why Does It Always Rain On Me?", by I.P. Freely, on his Etsy shop for the low price of $5 a copy!

Here's what Mitch has to say about it:

"Tijuana Bibles" or "8-Pagers" were palm-sized pornographic comic books produced from the 1920s to the early 1960s. The usually crudely drawn hardcore thrusting and pumping was illustrated by anonymous artists, and produced in secret printing facilities, as these spunky pen and ink hi-jinks violated about 20 different ye olden laws. Their popularity peaked during the Great Depression era selling millions of "under the counter" copies.

Well, I thought those were just memories from a bygone era, until I came across a source while taking my annual Tijuana vacation and bought all the store had, which was a boxful of little porno pamphlets called “Donald Trump in 'Why Does It Always Rain On Me’?”

It’s 8 (not including covers) sweaty 3" by 4 1/4" pages of palm pounding fun as our President and the lovely Superstar Stormy Daniels (plus a surprise love interest) get it up, get down and get it on!

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This guy takes coin carving to the next level

Carving and reshaping coins, often called hobo nickels, is a classic art form that is getting an update by Russian artisan Roman Booteen. Some even have mechanisms added: Read the rest

Enjoy a little ultraviolence with Jack White's NSFW funky Corporation video

With a great guitar riff and a video as stylized as it is violent, "Corporation" will leave you guessing right up to the last funky chord. Read the rest

Brave humorists take on the phonecase-industrial complex

Those of us who eschew a phone case take a lot of abuse in this cruel world. Finally, a send-up of all the things we endure from case freaks and their misguided fanaticism. Note: some spicy language that reflects what we have to deal with. Read the rest

Amazon removes fascist trash from store

Amazon has removed Nazi paraphernalia and other far-right junk from its online store after a report took it to task for helping white nationalist groups prosper online.

Politicians and organisations that track hate groups identified several sellers offering the goods via Amazon. Amazon said it had blocked the sellers, removed the items and was now checking for other similarly-themed goods. ... It said it used automated methods as well as teams of investigators to scan listings looking for items that break its policies or national laws covering hate speech, violence or racial intolerance.

More from the New York Times:

In a letter dated Tuesday to Representative Keith Ellison, a Democrat from Minnesota, Amazon said it had removed products that violated its policy against product listings that promote hatred, violence or discrimination.

“We have reviewed the products and content referenced in your letter, and removed the listings that were found in violation of our policies and permanently blocked the seller accounts that were in violation of Amazon policy,” Brian Huseman, Amazon’s vice president for public policy, wrote in the letter, which was earlier reported by BuzzFeed. “We are also reviewing the seller accounts for potential suspension.”

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These People Pot Pies will make you want to skip dessert

People. Pot. Pies. Read the rest

Twitter's NSFW porn spam nightmare for women with common names

For at least a couple of years, Twitter has allowed one porn spam bot to clog up search results for common women's names, as well as for names of young female celebrities. It would not take a lot to create an algorithm to block this specific spam, but it's still here, because Twitter can't seem to address the platform's pervasive hostility to women. Read the rest

Watch the filthiest, most hilarious NSFW meth story you'll ever hear

Jessa Reed was addicted to meth for years, and it's great she survived to tell us about her rock bottom, which involved drinking her own pee to get high. Read the rest

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