This might be the same compilation of British Drivers Swearing that Mark posted in 2016, but that video was copyright-striked by "Bad Drivers of Northamptonshire" so it's impossible to know for sure. In any case, it seems unlikely that there is only one compilation of British Drivers Swearing in existence. So enjoy it, you shitting Peugeot. Read the rest

If you're not already familiar with what it takes to gather semen from an elephant, this video of the process will serve as the ultimate "I'm not sure what I expected" experience. The scene is from the Extinctions documentary released in 2011.

Artificial stimulation of the animal does not produce large quantities of sperm. Each drop must be retrieved quickly. The sample is immediately sent to the neighboring laboratory.

When the new civil war kicks off, will you have fourteen 1980s machine gun VHS babes on your side? They're sharper shooters than the F35 Joint Strike Fighter, that's for sure.

Consider this your weekly reminder that Robocop was a documentary. Read the rest

Hexagonal-grid notebooks like Hexanote [Amazon] are marketed toward organic chemistry students and pros; the image here is from the thicker, spiral-bound Benznote.

But I'm thinking ... maps.

Unfortunately, the paper in all the available offerings is lightweight and probably won't hold marker pigment well, let alone paint. (The big-sheeted dry-erase grids intended specifically for games look like a lot of fun, but aren't what I'm looking for) Is there, to the best of your knowledge, a hexagonal notebook with paper that's 100gm or more?

Watercolor paper would be ideal, but I'm not fussy.

PREVIOUSLY: Create and print custom gridded paper Read the rest

An MSNBC correspondent hurriedly relating some historical context from basketball legend Kobe Bryant's career stumbled over the name of his team, the LA Lakers.

Earlier today, while reporting on the tragic news of Kobe Bryant’s passing, I unfortunately stuttered on air, combining the names of the Knicks and the Lakers to say “Nakers.” Please know I did not & would NEVER use a racist term. I apologize for the confusion this caused.

— Alison Morris (@AlisonMorrisNOW) January 26, 2020

"Earlier today, while reporting on the tragic news of Kobe Bryant’s passing, I unfortunately stuttered on air, combining the names of the Knicks and the Lakers to say “Nakers.”", wrote Alison Morris. "Please know I did not & would NEVER use a racist term. I apologize for the confusion this caused."

That explains the hard R, but not the G. Given that Morris obviously didn't intend to say a racist slur, the usual (and I think more plausible) explanation when this sort of thing happens is that it was a brainfart, admitting the utterance while disclaiming intent and highlighting the weird, mangled manouvers our brains sometimes take under pressure. However, that explanation cops to the bad word lurking in one's neurons, and a Rochester, N.Y., weatherman lost his job recently after such an explanation was offered in his case.

So "Nakers" it is.

Read the rest

Ed Lawson describes the scene of an accident in no uncertain words.

"I don't know where the fuck that came from!

Action Man: Battlefield Casualties is a set of black-comedy parody ads for a more realistic war-themed childrens' toy. It was produced by Veterans for Peace UK, to challenge a British Army ad campaign aimed at youngsters, and voiced by Matt Berry.

A Veterans For Peace UK Film challenging the British Army's policy of recruiting 16 year olds into the most dangerous army jobs. More details at www.battlefieldcasualties.co.uk

Director: Price James Writer: Darren Cullen Based on Original Artwork by Darren Cullen

Note that it's British and therefore nastier than the Saturday Night Live-esque chortle you might be expecting. NSFW with all the warnings.

Previously: Scarfolk's waterboarding accessory set for Action Man Read the rest

Peter Sissons, who died today at 77, is well known to British news junkies for his decades anchoring daily bulletins on ITV and the BBC. Though not well-known abroad, he just happens to be the man responsible for one of the BBC's most outrageous NSFW bloopers: a contemptuous hot-mic outburst about a fellow presenter's breasts. Read the rest

When Christian Bale was cast as Patrick Bateman, the obsessive yet vacuous investment banker and serial killer prowling 1980s Manhattan, he searched for inspiration. He found a Tom Cruise interview, as related by director Mary Harron: "We talked about how Martian-like Patrick Bateman was, how he was looking at the world like somebody from another planet, watching what people did and trying to work out the right way to behave. And then one day he called me and he had been watching Tom Cruise on David Letterman, and he just had this very intense friendliness with nothing behind the eyes, and he was really taken with this energy."

Now you can watch Tom Cruise play the role, deepfaked over Bale and dubbed by Evan Ferrante. It's so convincing, not just in the technical aspects of the deepfake but the plain fact of Cruise's obvious appropropriateness to the role. There's a petulant, simmering anger that comes naturally to Cruise on screen, an intensity that Bale did not quite fully emulate in his otherwise excellent performance.

It's NSFW throughout, but the second half is the actual "sex" scene; stop the video 45s in to avoid it. Read the rest

And by "dirty," I mean "NSFW."

There's a marketing mastermind at Granny's Attic thrift store on Vashon Island in Washington state. Instead of tossing out** all the risqué donations the store receives, they instead save the (good/sellable) items for a once-a-year sale for adults 18 and over. I vacation in Vashon and got to experience it for myself.

(**I'm assuming that's what thrift stores normally do.)

The preview for this "After Dark" sale was held on the island's popular First Friday evening:

"Find Out What Your Neighbors Have Been Up To":

Outside the shop's actual storefront was this large tent which held all the salacious secondhand goods:

Now, I've often thought that you can tell a lot about what a community is about by what ends up in their thrift stores, a sort of anthropological study. What would I learn about the denizens of Vashon? Only one way to find out...

(By the way, my 14-year-old was MORTIFIED that I was going to check the sale out and literally crossed the street and hid while I went inside.)

Walking past the "It's scandalous in here..." sign and into the tent, I immediately spotted racks of used (and presumably laundered) lingerie and books:

Turning around, I saw this table (click image to embiggen):

And this one (click image to embiggen): No comment on those pantyhose dolls.

Many artists live in Vashon, so it makes sense to me that a bunch of tasteful nude sketches ended up in the sale:

Oh, it's worth mentioning that everything was priced to move. Read the rest

Good gentleman of Brooklyn, there's a place in your borough that specializes in artisanal manscaping. It's called Brooklyn Ball Barbers and they claim, "Your dick pick game will be second to none."

Oh nuts, Comedy Central. You had me going for about 12 seconds there.

But, can we just take a moment to admire the attention to detail in this video? For example, this logo:

And the barber chair with stirrups:

Also, how long do you suppose it will be until a shop like this is a reality? Read the rest

(NSFW)

Enjoy the c.1985 promotional video below for the Cypress Cove Nudist Resort in Kissimmee, Florida! It looks like everything you could want from a resort but with, y'know, less clothing. Based on the reminiscing and raving over at r/nudism, The Cove is still a happening scene. You can even live there, but only by purchasing a mobile home from a current resident.

And don't forget the reminder from the cheerful narrator: "Volleyball is popular among nudists, no matter what your level of skill." Read the rest

Last night I saw HBO's The Inventor: Out for Blood in Silicon Valley about the rise and fall of Elizabeth Holmes and her company/cult, Theranos. It's very good and surprisingly unsettling.

UPDATE: I've looped her intensely unpleasant stare for 10 minutes and set it against a nice slow performance of Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata. Enjoy the embedded video above.

Here's an infinitely looping GIF of it, sans music.

Read the rest

The two bullet points for the Belladonna Foot Soldiers [Amazon] makes clear all you need to know. First, it offers "astonishing details" in "realistic rubber," and second that there is one left foot, one right foot, and a free bottle of lube. [via The Worst Things For Sale]

Now you too can have your own set of Belladonna's exquisite feet to hold, fondle, love and caress. Live out your wildest fantasies with Belladonna.

The top review, alas, warns of a strong smell.

I’m not sure what it is, but the smell never goes away. This time I’m determined to see if it does. I’ve owned these for 6 years, and rarely take them out of the box. I can smell the material at least 6 feet away. It’s a shame, because they are beautifully detailed. I wish I knew the cause. I’ve throw them in nylons and will keep them out of the box as a last ditch effort to see if the scent mellows. Any suggestions would be appreciated. Though less life like, I prefer the Topco Justine Joli Cyberskin Foot Stroker.

Extraweg (AKA Oliver Latta: Twitter, Youtube) is a superb and surreal animator whose computer rendered grotesques of human faces and forms writhing, merging, and doing the impossible are spellbindingly weird. Read the rest

Cash Cars in Kansas City will take very little cash for very crappy vehicles. They are sold AS-IS, and yet Desmound Logan here must still explain to customers that when you pay $3,000 for a Tahoe, you can take it on an extended test drive but you are not getting a warrantee.

"When you come to us, we are your last motherfuckin resort," says Logan.

In the following video, Logan presents a Cash Cars KC "You figure out what's wrong with it" special.

NSFW language throughout, y'all. Read the rest