Tom Cruise deepfaked as American Psycho's Patrick Bateman

When Christian Bale was cast as Patrick Bateman, the obsessive yet vacuous investment banker and serial killer prowling 1980s Manhattan, he searched for inspiration. He found a Tom Cruise interview, as related by director Mary Harron: "We talked about how Martian-like Patrick Bateman was, how he was looking at the world like somebody from another planet, watching what people did and trying to work out the right way to behave. And then one day he called me and he had been watching Tom Cruise on David Letterman, and he just had this very intense friendliness with nothing behind the eyes, and he was really taken with this energy."

Now you can watch Tom Cruise play the role, deepfaked over Bale and dubbed by Evan Ferrante. It's so convincing, not just in the technical aspects of the deepfake but the plain fact of Cruise's obvious appropropriateness to the role. There's a petulant, simmering anger that comes naturally to Cruise on screen, an intensity that Bale did not quite fully emulate in his otherwise excellent performance.

It's NSFW throughout, but the second half is the actual "sex" scene; stop the video 45s in to avoid it. Read the rest

Thrift store saves dirty donations for special adults-only sale

And by "dirty," I mean "NSFW."

There's a marketing mastermind at Granny's Attic thrift store on Vashon Island in Washington state. Instead of tossing out** all the risqué donations the store receives, they instead save the (good/sellable) items for a once-a-year sale for adults 18 and over. I vacation in Vashon and got to experience it for myself.

(**I'm assuming that's what thrift stores normally do.)

The preview for this "After Dark" sale was held on the island's popular First Friday evening:

"Find Out What Your Neighbors Have Been Up To":

Outside the shop's actual storefront was this large tent which held all the salacious secondhand goods:

Now, I've often thought that you can tell a lot about what a community is about by what ends up in their thrift stores, a sort of anthropological study. What would I learn about the denizens of Vashon? Only one way to find out...

(By the way, my 14-year-old was MORTIFIED that I was going to check the sale out and literally crossed the street and hid while I went inside.)

Walking past the "It's scandalous in here..." sign and into the tent, I immediately spotted racks of used (and presumably laundered) lingerie and books:

Turning around, I saw this table (click image to embiggen):

And this one (click image to embiggen): No comment on those pantyhose dolls.

Many artists live in Vashon, so it makes sense to me that a bunch of tasteful nude sketches ended up in the sale:

Oh, it's worth mentioning that everything was priced to move. Read the rest

Guys, Brooklyn Ball Barbers cater to your manscaping needs

Good gentleman of Brooklyn, there's a place in your borough that specializes in artisanal manscaping. It's called Brooklyn Ball Barbers and they claim, "Your dick pick game will be second to none."

Oh nuts, Comedy Central. You had me going for about 12 seconds there.

But, can we just take a moment to admire the attention to detail in this video? For example, this logo:

And the barber chair with stirrups:

Also, how long do you suppose it will be until a shop like this is a reality? Read the rest

Watch a 1980s promotional video for a nudist resort (NSFW)

(NSFW)

Enjoy the c.1985 promotional video below for the Cypress Cove Nudist Resort in Kissimmee, Florida! It looks like everything you could want from a resort but with, y'know, less clothing. Based on the reminiscing and raving over at r/nudism, The Cove is still a happening scene. You can even live there, but only by purchasing a mobile home from a current resident.

And don't forget the reminder from the cheerful narrator: "Volleyball is popular among nudists, no matter what your level of skill." Read the rest

Infinite Elizabeth Holmes

Last night I saw HBO's The Inventor: Out for Blood in Silicon Valley about the rise and fall of Elizabeth Holmes and her company/cult, Theranos. It's very good and surprisingly unsettling.

UPDATE: I've looped her intensely unpleasant stare for 10 minutes and set it against a nice slow performance of Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata. Enjoy the embedded video above.

Here's an infinitely looping GIF of it, sans music.

Read the rest

Realistic rubber feet

The two bullet points for the Belladonna Foot Soldiers [Amazon] makes clear all you need to know. First, it offers "astonishing details" in "realistic rubber," and second that there is one left foot, one right foot, and a free bottle of lube. [via The Worst Things For Sale]

Now you too can have your own set of Belladonna's exquisite feet to hold, fondle, love and caress. Live out your wildest fantasies with Belladonna.

The top review, alas, warns of a strong smell.

I’m not sure what it is, but the smell never goes away. This time I’m determined to see if it does. I’ve owned these for 6 years, and rarely take them out of the box. I can smell the material at least 6 feet away. It’s a shame, because they are beautifully detailed. I wish I knew the cause. I’ve throw them in nylons and will keep them out of the box as a last ditch effort to see if the scent mellows. Any suggestions would be appreciated. Though less life like, I prefer the Topco Justine Joli Cyberskin Foot Stroker.

Read the rest

The gorgeous, grotesque animations of @Extraweg [NSFW-ish]

Extraweg (AKA Oliver Latta: Twitter, Youtube) is a superb and surreal animator whose computer rendered grotesques of human faces and forms writhing, merging, and doing the impossible are spellbindingly weird. Read the rest

America's most honest used car salesman explains AS-IS

Cash Cars in Kansas City will take very little cash for very crappy vehicles. They are sold AS-IS, and yet Desmound Logan here must still explain to customers that when you pay $3,000 for a Tahoe, you can take it on an extended test drive but you are not getting a warrantee.

"When you come to us, we are your last motherfuckin resort," says Logan.

In the following video, Logan presents a Cash Cars KC "You figure out what's wrong with it" special.

NSFW language throughout, y'all. Read the rest

Big Bill Hell's used cars

I was surprised to learn today that I've never posted the ad for Big Bill Hell's used cars in Baltimore. The omission is hereby rectified.

Previously in Baltimore: Man shouts 'Heil Hitler! Heil Trump!' in Baltimore theater during 'Fiddler on the Roof'

Previously in Cleveland: Read the rest

Animator David Firth rewards fans with Salad Fingers short after hitting 1m subscribers

David Firth's YouTube channel won its millionth subscriber this week, and our reward is a new short animation of Salad Fingers, his most splendid and notorious creation. Read the rest

"Halloween Whimsey" mask is "great for any costume party"

The "Halloween Whimsey 3D Latex Mask Head Mask for Party Cosplay Costume Prank Joking", available at Amazon, is this season's de rigeur trick-or-treat outfit.

• Great for Masquerade Parties, Costume Parties, Carnival, Christmas, Easter, Halloween or any other parties • Perfect for a fun meme, Halloween,Easter, Carnival, Costume parties, Tag party or simply for going to a night club. • Anyway, it will see plenty of use at times other than Halloween

"Anyway," the author trails off there. Yes, anyway. Plenty of use. Job interviews. Court dates. The opera!

This marvel was chanced upon by Julia Pugachevsky on Twitter: "THE EYES," she writes.

UPDATE: Combine this year's two most popular Halloween accessories in a single terrific costume!

Read the rest

Incel, a disturbing short film about an "involuntary celibate"

This NSFW film examines a fictional incel named Sam, starting with his agonizingly tense interaction with a young woman and reaching a disturbing culmination. Read the rest

Pornography use increased when Fortnite crashed for 24 hours

The Journal of Behavioral Addictions found that when people can't play Fortnite they will masturbate.

In April 2018, the servers of the popular video game “Fortnite” crashed for 24 hr. During this period, Pornhub (a popular pornographic website) analyzed trends in pornography access, finding that: (a) the percentage of gamers accessing Pornhub increased by 10% and (b) the searches of pornographic videos using the key term “Fortnite” increased by 60%.

Image: vrcosplayx (NSFW)

[via new shelton wet/dry] Read the rest

Breasts aren't "boobs" or "titties" but rather "tiddies" or "titays"

"Titties" is a stupid word. It's so stupid and gross that some millennials are replacing it with even more ridiculous words like "tiddies" or "titays." Brilliantly funny MEL Magazine editor Alana Hope Levinson explores how "The Extremely Online are destroying language — one tiddy (or tity) at a time." From MEL:

I first started thinking about this when columnist merritt k wrote about the state of fake boobs and tried to get away with “tity” — with one “t” — throughout the entire draft. I thought it was a typo, but I was astounded to learn that merritt is on a one-woman crusade to make “tity” both the singular and plural.

Still, I thought merritt was a lone tity weirdo until I encountered “tiddies” in writer and designer Robyn Kanner’s draft on trolling Instagram’s nudity policy. “Tiddies” — apparently also the choice spelling of my bible, Jezebel — first appeared when Kanner was describing a scene in Garden State where Method Man asks Zach Braff, Peter Sarsgaard and Natalie Portman if they “saw some titties” at a strip club. In this case, Kanner was using the double d (lol) as a pronunciation spelling common in slang cause she thinks it “has more swagger.” “Titties with a ‘t’ is nice, but it just sounds like college boys talking about boobs,” she says. “Tiddies is ‘we are older, but we are recognizing we are making a joke about boobs.’” Because “titties” is so ridiculous, making it even more so somehow neutralizes the effect with comedy — or at least gives you some ironic distance.

Read the rest

Naughty Tijuana Bible about Trump and Stormy

My friend Mitch O'Connell (that's O'Connell, the world's greatest artist, not McConnell, the invertebrate fascist symp), sent me a cache of Trump Tijuana Bibles, secreted in Tony Schwartz's 1987 book, The Art of the Deal.

Tijuana Bibles are little 8-panel pornographic comic books that were popular during the Great Depression, and usually starred famous comic strip characters, like Blondie, Popeye, Dick Tracy, and Mickey Mouse, engaging in all manner of carnal congress.

Mitch is selling copies from his stash of Donald Trump in "Why Does It Always Rain On Me?", by I.P. Freely, on his Etsy shop for the low price of $5 a copy!

Here's what Mitch has to say about it:

"Tijuana Bibles" or "8-Pagers" were palm-sized pornographic comic books produced from the 1920s to the early 1960s. The usually crudely drawn hardcore thrusting and pumping was illustrated by anonymous artists, and produced in secret printing facilities, as these spunky pen and ink hi-jinks violated about 20 different ye olden laws. Their popularity peaked during the Great Depression era selling millions of "under the counter" copies.

Well, I thought those were just memories from a bygone era, until I came across a source while taking my annual Tijuana vacation and bought all the store had, which was a boxful of little porno pamphlets called “Donald Trump in 'Why Does It Always Rain On Me’?”

It’s 8 (not including covers) sweaty 3" by 4 1/4" pages of palm pounding fun as our President and the lovely Superstar Stormy Daniels (plus a surprise love interest) get it up, get down and get it on!

Read the rest

This guy takes coin carving to the next level

Carving and reshaping coins, often called hobo nickels, is a classic art form that is getting an update by Russian artisan Roman Booteen. Some even have mechanisms added: Read the rest

Enjoy a little ultraviolence with Jack White's NSFW funky Corporation video

With a great guitar riff and a video as stylized as it is violent, "Corporation" will leave you guessing right up to the last funky chord. Read the rest

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